How much do girls really expect you to text?

This is kind of a spinoff/counter question to one I saw from yesterday...

I have a busy job. Some days its easy, but that means I work a short day. The time I spend working is still busy for me. But anyway, on an average day, I leave about 8 or 8:30, and I'm on the road visiting stores I oversee, sometimes as far as three hours away at the furthest point, and I'll get home anywhere between 4:30 and 8:30, depending on the travel. Most days its roughly 8:30-5:30.

My girlfriend gets pissed at me sometimes for not texting her during that time. I think that's ridiculous, it's literally only 8-10 hours, that's nothing. And for me, because its so busy and I'm thinking about so many things, its over in the blink of an eye. She says that it indicates that I'm "not thinking about her." I feel like I'm taking crazy pills, that makes no sense to me. I've tried to explain the situation, that its true that I'm NOT thinking about her...because its work time, not because I don't care. I barely have time to stop and text the guys that work for me with work related stuff. I don't even have time on my lunch break, which usually consists of me eating while driving to my next stop. I tried to be reasonable and just break it down to her that 8 AM - 6PM I'm off the grid, that time is solely devoted to my job. If she needs to text me about something, she can, but its crazy to get mad at me for not texting her. Again, we're only talking about 8-10 hours usually. She says all I have to do is text "hey baby" and its all good...then what do you need a goddamn text for? it just to say I did it, I guess? that's lunacy. If she's at work or school, I'm like "whatever, have a good day, see you when you get home. If she's away, just text me once a day so I know you're OK. We've been together 7 years, do you really need that reassurance? We live together, I'll be home later, guaranteed. She's not even a super needy chick, but she swears all girls would have a problem with this, and if that's true, then all girls are crazy. If you're at work, that's what the priority is. There's no time for me to drop what I'm doing, and I'm not even thinking about that anyway. My mind has a one-at-a-time thought capacity.

Anyhow, real long way to ask a simple question, haha. But are you ladies on board with this? For me, if you're out of town, just text me once every 24 hours so I know you're OK. that's all I need. Do we need to have a conversation right then and there? We've had literally thousands of conversations, and there'll be thousands more, its really not a big deal. Don't give me the whole "you're not thinking about me" nonsense, all I do is think about you when I'm not working. And I'm just not a big texter, I didn't even get a cellphone til like 2007, I'm old school. I used to maintain relationships with a pager and payphones back in like '94, haha. The whole constant text barrage is absolutely nuts to me.

What do you all think?


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What Girls Said 7

  • You are a Guy, why don't you take things into your own hands, tell her to call you instead. You didn't get it did you? She wants to feel needed. If you can't txt her back, I'm sure you can pick a phone on her and talk to her for one min, She'll hear your voice you gave her some of your private and devoted time, both of you are happy. Texting is bad, I'm a girl and even I understand that. Get your things together and start calling her or tell her to start calling you instead and tell her what will she expect to hear from you and for how many min, so she can be prepared to accept your double win offer. But if you can't even spent a min of your time on her on the phone, then I don't know, you are a guy think of something.

  • Lol your thought process is just like my boyfriends, he's a fedex driver so I completely understand why I won't hear from him til he's off work. I'm fine with it, as long as I hear from him at the end of the night. Yes of course It would be cool to hear from him thruout the day but that's not really possible, I know he's way busier than me, and his job can be stressful sometimes. And its not really necessary, so I do think she's overreacting a tad too much lol. Hopefully she just gets over it and realizes you really are busy, and when your at work your at work, that's that.

  • My boyfriend has an internship and I work (we don't live together though) and I don't expect him to text me...

    Now, my job is easier than his. I handle check ins at a fitness club which takes about 10 minutes and then I have the rest of the hour to myself. My coworkers and I are all on fb/twitter/YouTube or texting and talking to one another. My job allows for that.

    But I know he's busy and I definitely wouldn't expect him to text me...

    I'd like to communicate at least once a day, but if life gets in the way then that's fine.

    I think she's a bit unreasonable but at the same time, I understand why she wants regular contact. But I think she needs to be more understanding how your time. When you're at work, work comes before your personal life.

    Has something traumatic happened in her life? Like losing a loved one suddenly? If that's the case then that explains a lot. She just wants reassurance that you're fine.

    And if you've ever given her a reason to not trust you (you don't have to disclose but you can't play dumb about the situation), then it's understandable. But depending on how long it may have been since that occurred, your trust is still being earned and it can take years to earn it back.

    If she's not an otherwise needy girl then I wouldn't worry too much about it. She's not being controlling, just overly concerned.

  • I don't really care how much he texts me, as long as he remembers to texts back to me within 24 hours, instead of replying back to me the next day(s)

    I understand people are busy and they can't always text you often throughout the day. But I'm pretty sure you can't be too busy to send a text back at least once or twice a day...

  • I think she has a lot of free time on her hands. I would only expect it at least twice a day. I'm a busy person and I much prefer phone calls.

  • I have never understood the need to be in constant communication over text- especially if you have nothing in particular to say. I'm like you- for the most part, I feel that when I'm at work, texting isn't part of the mix, 8 hours a day, I'm not available for idle chit chat. That being said, I do check my phone and will respond at lunch/break time to people who text me if I think it needs a response. I wouldn't expect a guy I was dating to be texting me all the time during his work day- it would actually annoy me because I'm also at work, and I'm WORKING.

    I do expect a guy I'm dating to check in once a day, but this mostly means calling me if we're not going to see each other. If we are, then he doesn't need to text/call me unless we're working out plans.

    But, as I've learned over the years, my feelings aren't always typical for my gender. I would say your girlfriend is looking for confirmation that she's valued, you think of her first and she's not secondary to your job or simply a nice after-work distraction. (I'm NOT saying you feel this way btw!). In short, she wants reassurance. Now, I get that you're busy and can't call/text her all the time while at work. But she also expects/needs the contact at some point during the day.

    My suggestion would be to set aside 5-10 minutes a day to call/text her. Yes- I know your job is busy, but nobody with the exception of maybe the head of a country is SO busy they don't have 5 minutes to send a text message or make a call. If you try, you can probably find the time to do this and then let her know that aside from that, you're unavailable to chat during the work day. And if you really are so busy you can't manage that, have you thought of getting a hands-free device so you can call her while you're driving and eating your lunch? You could talk for 10 minutes at lunch, make her feel better and still be productive and focused at work.

    It might be a compromise that would work for both of you.

  • Dude you have work she is just insane.

    • But all the other girls at cosmetology school say I'm an asshole too, haha. She's not insane either, she's so normal otherwise, it blows my mind that this one thing would upset her so much.

What Guys Said 1

  • Yeah dude... I agree with you. My mom never called my dad at work for 25 years before he retired. She knew better than that, after all, he was busy at work.

    Women today seem to be totally different. Very demanding, very opinionated, they crave attention, they're emotionally unstable, they make retarded decisions based on emotion; Frankly, I've kind of given up on women here. It's more hassle than it's worth dude. I don't know how some guys just shut up and put up with it, I would implode.

    Once I went on a ride along with a cop and we got to talking about the same thing. He was telling me about his daughter and how awful she was to her boyfriend. One day he saw her acting like a complete bitch (Not his words lol) and he asked her, "Does your boyfriend put up with you acting like that?" She said, "He'd better if he knows what's good for him."

    That's just how it is nowadays. Men had better put up with it if they want a girlfriend/wife. Not me, brother. I refuse to be coerced, I refuse to enable their lunacy.

    • I think that's where she and I clash. In the grand scheme of things, she's pretty normal. That's why this confuses me so much, she's not like this about other stuff. I can be at home and "ignore" her, watching sports or playing video games, and she's fine. I come home from work, hang out for an hour, then go to the gym and don't get back til she's about to go to bed. No complaints. But don't text her for 6 hours and there's an issue, haha. Pretty crazy.

    • I see what you mean. That is pretty bizarre. If all she wants is a text then I dunno, send her one. God forbid it starts a chain reaction where your entire home life is reassessed. Sounds like you have it pretty good right now haha.

    • Haha, yeah, I'm pretty lucky, all in all. There's a lot worse out there. Bitches be crazy, haha.

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