Bad at being in contact after sex for the first time

Can I please get an opinion on whether I'm overreacting or others would be upset in this situation?

There was a guy that I flirted with who was in a relationship, who's pretty much my best friend. Now he's finally broken up, and we had sex for the first time. It was great and we both enjoyed it..but..Problem was, that I ended up being a bit pushy, getting into the moment, and he wasn't good about drawing boundaries since he felt guilty hopping into bed right after his breakup. So it could have been a lot nicer if I didn't push things, but I thought at least it ended on a good note.

I hope you can understand that after the event I felt self conscious, since, even if he said it's just due to guilt after his breakup and not me, it's easy to feel somehow personally inadequate. I also haven't slept with someone in over 2 years so there's that.

So the next day, I woke up, and sent him some jokey flirtatious texts. He replied something simple like "nice" and then I didn't hear from him at all the whole day, which is unusual for us, since as I said, we're good friends and text daily. When it got to be late afternoon I started getting upset, so I decided to text him to ask him what he was up to. When he didn't reply, I started feeling even worse, and texted him to admit that I was concerned we weren't in good standing.

He replied to this and tried to play it down but finally admitted that "we're good, I just have a lot on my mind" and I said OK, we can talk later. Now it's almost midnight, and I doubt I'll hear from him AT ALL, which is even more unusual for us, since we usually chat in the evenings.

Am I justified in feeling insecure and hurt about his lack of communication after sex? And not only that but a sexual experience that was hindered by some guilt and hesitance on his part?

I should also add that I've been clear with him that I don't want to jump into a relationship, if at all, and I'm not only fine with but encourage him seeing other people, so the hesitance shouldn't be about me pushing him into a relationship.


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What Girls Said 1

  • He perceives you as getting a little too attached. After all you guys are just sleeping around but not dating to know each other well

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