Is angry texting and name calling a deal breaker for dating?

I dated a guy for 2 weeks and my gut feeling told me that he isn't taking me seriously. I was upset recently because he didn't initiate to ask me out for the weekend and I hinted that I was upset. His response was "It doesn't mean because I'm a guy that you [girl] can't ask me out." I was hurt, but tried not to be over-emotional, so I asked him out directly. He didn't respond to my message. I was very hurt and frustrated and I angry texted him. He texted me back 10 hours later saying that he forgot his phone at home, that he dislikes checking his phone often (ironically he's a technology junkie and always carries his phone in his pocket wherever he goes) and his response to my angry texting was:

You're too intense, I LEFT MY PHONE IN MY ROOM! I don't want to be in a toxic relationship with name calling and rage, this is over.

I apologized telling him that I was very upset that he never initiated to meet me, that I was very frustrated at him this is why I angry texted him, but I told him I was very sorry and that I will never do this again. He still didn't apologize for hurting me nor accepted my apology.

Did I overreact? Or is he selfish?

Thank you


Most Helpful Guy

  • Perhaps you may have overreacted, just a bit there. He is not in a relationship with you, therefore, he is not obligated to make plans with you or spend time with you. Consider, also, the fact that guys pursue girls at their own individual, comfortable pace. Some guys prefer to move at slower paces, for example, seeing a woman two or three weekends in month in the initial stages of dating, while others may prefer faster paces.

    Regardless of his reasons for not initiating a date with you, his excuse for not replying to your call draws skepticism. In my experiences, referring to my male friends and relatives, guys often attach their phones to their hips, or pockets if you will, after meeting and dating a woman whom they have above average or high interest in. Of course, their are exceptions, but, in general, guys, like girls, make themselves accessible to someone they want to speak with.

    In any case, if he is unwilling to forgive you, it would be wise to move on. You made a mistake, you apologized, and now there nothing more to do but learn from your mistake.


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What Guys Said 2

  • You both kinda overreacted. Note, I said "kinda." I mean, it makes sense why you did but still.

    It also depends on what you said to him in your text. You're leaving out a lot. Seeing as how you two were only dating for 2 weeks I can see why he bailed on you. I mean, it was only two weeks and you already turned into the Hulk.

    You should believe him about the phone. I'm the same way. Yes, I also sometimes forget the phone at home therefore I don't respond to messages for possibly the whole day, depending on what I'm doing.

    Your apology doesn't mean that he's obligated to forgive you or reply back. There is also no reason for him to apologize to you. You said he hurt you but how exactly did he do it, by not asking you out for the weekend like you wanted him to? My friend really wanted to go out for beers tonight but I never invited him out to the bar even though he was kinda telling me earlier that he could really use a drink. Does that mean I should apologize to him?

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      please read my story thank you.

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    • Do you think that he took my angry text as an excuse to break up with me? the details are in the story please read. thank you

    • hahaha... babe, I can already tell that he was kinda right about you. You do bug, just a little. :0)

      But really it boils down to him not wanting to go through the trouble. Yes, you bug, but so does everybody in their own way... I know it's an excuse because of the way he treated you. I mean, I'm an asshole too but this guy makes me look like a saint.

  • I think you over reacted. I sometimes go a couple of days without checking my phone for calls or texts. It's usually dependent on the shifts I'm working. So I don't think 10 hours is that big a deal. But I do see how it can make you anxious.

    You didn't say what you said in your angry text. But it obviously pissed him off.

    He did say "this is over" so I don't think you will get a, thank you for your apology. and I doubt he will apologize.


    • can you please read my story


      thank you

    • After reading the other story. I feel you were more justified for the angry text. But that being said. He's a knob. He's a me, me, me jerk. Even if you had sex on the first, second and third dates. I don't think he would still be around. The fact that he didn't reply is no loss. Be thankful. Move on.


What Girls Said 2

  • I feel like the both of you are in the wrong, at least partially. I agree with him that you were a bit too intense (you've only gone out with him for two weeks and you're already acting over emotional and clingy). But I also agree with you that he's being a bit too passive, and it seems like his excuses don't really match up with the reality. Seems like the two of you aren't a match made in heaven.

  • It seems to me that he doesn't appreciate you enough. When a man does what he did, you shouldn't tolerate it. He's a deal that just broke and isn't worth fixing, ( selfish is an understatement). If he was worth getting back he would have taken your feelings into consideration.