To text him or to not text him? The great debate - Help!?

Alright I've been on 4 dates with this super shy guy. We have kissed/made out 3 out of the 4 times we have been together. We have known each other for quite awhile distantly but never really hung out like this. He has never had a girlfriend and his friends say he doesn't know how to talk to girls.

I usually am initiating most of the texting conversations which he always responds positively to. I text him Tuesday night and said that I would be home again this coming weekend and that if he wanted to get together that I would be up for it. He responded with, "Alright. I don't know what I have going on this weekend yet, but i'll let you know."

What do I do now? I'm so getting so impatient waiting to see if he will text me. I already have plans with a girlfriend tonight and I don't want to make plans for Saturday night in case he does text me. Will I look needy/clingy or weird if I text him about Saturday? I just don't want him to think I am desperate. I just really like him and prefer to spend time with him since I am back home.

Am I going to have to take the lead here again? As a guy I suppose you don't plan that far in advance correct? Like on Tuesday you probably don't plan that fair into the weekend, right?



Most Helpful Guy

  • He said that he would let you know, so, if he doesn't, go out with your friends. If he doesn't text you after the weekend, you can text him then.

    • Even though he is very shy? I had asked other questions on here and it made it seem like I am suppose to take the lead in these cases? I just hope my hint was clear enough for him to catch that I would like to see him.

    • Show All
    • Good point. He has mentioned to his friends that he has been hanging out with me which I would take as a good sign because of him being so shy. I'm fairly certain he also mentioned me to his Dad so I took that as another positive thing. I guess I'll just wait and see what the weekend brings.

    • Those are all positive signs. You should wait and see what happens. It'll be alright.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • You will not look needy if you text him on a Friday to ask about a Saturday.

  • Wait for it. Make him chase you. If he doesn't call then it's his loss.

    • In normal circumstances I would agree however, he is super shy. He is also not a leader. We went to the movies and he had a hard time planning that meaning he didn't want to pick the movie and preferred that I did all the decision making. I'm willing to be patient with him but I feel silly making all the moves.

What Girls Said 1

  • I wouldn't worry too much about the situation with. Considering that you guys have kissed 3 out of 4 times which you hung out, he more than likely is interested in you. You put the ball in his court, so just wait for him to text you.

    If you girl friends invite you out on Saturday night, either tell them the honest situation, or just give a tentative yes. You don't want to play games with the guy especially at the beginning, so should he text you and invite you to hang out again, it would make things a lot easier if you agree.

    • I agree. I am over the whole game playing thing, I prefer to be straightforward. I just didn't know if his text on Tuesday was his way of saying that I am a last resort to hang out with or just that most guys don't plan that far in advance. I'm sure I am just over thinking this all but I don't want to mess it up.

    • Don't stress too much! Guys for the most part don't play games or have back-up plans, and he likely didn't text you back yet not because he's waiting for something better to come along, but because he's just as stressed as you at the whole situation. Even more-so considering he's a shy guy!

      Don't rush it. Everything will fall into place at its own pace so just relax. Don't listen to those saying you should make him chase you, which only really works in elementary.

      Good luck!

    • Thank you very much for you advice. I really appreciate it. There just comes a point when you are to a certain age that "playing games" just seems silly. I hope he does text this weekend but we shall see what he ends up doing.

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