So Im a 21 year old shy introverted guy, never dated, how can I finally break my shell and start my dating life? Any advice?

So im an African - American male. Im in college full-time, part-time job. I've never dated or kissed a girl. And its not because i'm ugly or anything. I'm in shape, lean muscular body, I have a sprinters body since I run track. Although Im not a tall guy, im probably about 5'7, so there might be some minus points there since i know how women are about a guy's height. Im also clean shaven, from the looks of it I probably have a baby-face, with a chiseled jaw-line. So i'd definitely say i'm a decent looking dude.

Im a quiet guy, always been one, although I come from the hood and grew up in a rough environment, I've always just been a chill-laid back type. I had women in HS who I knew who attracted to me one even sat next to me intentionally just to talk to me etc, but I was just too shy back then. Even this one girl by word of mouth wanted me to go to prom with her, but I was just too back then.
I'm 21 now, I can always makes friends easily and people always enjoy being around me and all, there is this one girl in my class that i know likes me. She always makes sure she stares at me directly in my eyes and smile when we cross paths when we are moving around in class doing our group assignments. Other girls over the years show max interest in me. And I'd be interested highly in them too. But I just don't have the confidence enough to take the convo pass the platonic stage. Im just too shy. The girl can be giving all these signals, playing with her hair etc, but I just can't summon up the courage to express my own feelings and tell her that i like her. I find this so hard. Its why i never had a gf, when In reality i had so many missed opportunities all because of me. When a girl likes me and i like her and we talk, i just dont know how to take the convo out of the platonic phase, its like a invisible barrier that's blocking me emotionally from doing it. Like i go through all of the leg work and when im finally there, I can't finish it. Story of my life man.


Most Helpful Girl

  • The next time a girl is showing interest in you, you don't need to tell her you like her at all. Just ask whether she's up to grabbing a cup of coffee or lunch or something casual like that, or to just hang out at the park. Just to spend time, just the two of you, so you can talk more and get to know each other.

    If she agrees, then hang out and talk. Ask her questions about her character, tell her about yourself, show some interest in her. She'll know you like her without you having to tell her. If you don't know what kind of questions to ask her that shows your interest in her, there are a lot of lists on google. And by the end of your hangout, tell her how you've enjoyed talking to her and that you'd like to do it again sometime.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • You need to be a go getter man ! Break out of your shell , also here is a good book on learning how to seduce people !

  • Get comfortable talking (or improving your communication skills or confidence) to the opposite sex as friends first before you learn to get a gf.


What Guys Said 1

  • you're an in-shape athelete. By default you're going to have a MUCH better shot than some dork who plays video games all day.

    You have to do this:

    1) Stop being friends with girls. If you see a girl you're attracted to, be pleasant to her. Be nice to her. Be friendly with her, but don't be her friend. Make every action purposeful that your intention is a romantic relationship. If she rejects you. so what? You're already not dating her.. you've lost NOTHING.

    2) When you see a girl, start the conversation and your brain clicks in with "I want to ask her out". Give yourself NO MORE than three seconds before you say it. That way you can't talk yourself out of it.

    You just have to do the opposite of what you've always done when you feel those insecurities creeping in.