Did I come on too strong or am I over-thinking things?

I started talking to this girl two weeks ago. She lives an hour and a half away so it complicates seeing each other. We have a date set up in a couple weeks, but I'm worried I may have screwed things up in the meantime.

I'm new to dating (recently out of a 8yr relationship) and I think I may be a little awkward. Anyways things were going well, I was playing the cool card by waiting to text her and she was even starting to initiate text with me telling me she was thinking about me and stuff, but then I got over zealous and I think I may have over-texted her and came on too strong. I can't tell if I'm over-thinking things or if it really is the case. Either way any advice on what I should do?

Should I step back, relax, and see what happens or should I apologize for possibly coming on too strong? Thanks for any help!


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's very hard to overtext anyone, unless you do it for like weeks at a time, border-line stalking. When you're having a conversation through text with some, I personally like it if a guy shows some initiative, not that he has to do all the works but some guys only answer with "Ok", and that is much, much worse, than if he texts me a little too much. At least then I can see he likes talking to me.
    Anyway, how long ago was it, and has she texted back already?

    • What I did was tried setting up a second date with her because she will be in town for a week when our first date was. She agreed last night, but then texted me this AM saying she couldn't and "not to be mad" and "have a good day". I then suggested setting up another date and she hasn't replied since this AM... which isn't normal for our conversation.

    • If that were her exact word, my guess is something bad came between it, probably something that hasn't to do with you in the slightest. That's probably why he hasn't responded yet.
      But... just ask her.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Don't worry, you're just over-thinking things. She's obviously interested seeing as how she was taking the initiative with texting, which is a good sign. Also, being very interested and showing that is very important when you're dating someone, especially in the beginning. If you're into her, you've definitely got to show that so your guy's relationship could potentially progress into more. Playing the 'cool-card' is definitely overrated. Continue texting her, even if just to let her know she was on your mind. Guaranteed that'll win her over. :)

    • Thanks, I want to show her I'm interested, but I also don't want to come across as clingy or anything. This being single thing is harder than I remember haha.

  • Don't apologize. You're just overthinking things. You have a date set up, just keep in touch with her every day or most days until then. And don't try to play games like not contacting her, we can see through that.


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