Dating an older guy: any tips and warnings?

Do you have any tips or warnings about dating an older guy (age 40-45)?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I have been always a believer that a man can't deceive a woman unless she allows him to. If you lack assertiveness, if you are insecure , or if you let him do something you don't want because you are embarrassed, then this is start of trouble.

    You have to regard him as your ''equal'' .. he is NOT all knowledgable... invincible or the most wise. You are equal to him and your feelings , needs, circumstances are as important as his.. it doest matter if he is a business man etc etc... because i can imagine that you can easily be strung by him if you take a subordinate role. Basically.. if you feel you can't say something to him that you would have said easily to a 26 year old then you are in trouble. You HAVE to regard him as equal.. not superior and not inferior. You have as much right to steer this relationship as he has. He will only control you if you let him. So you have to be extra communicative. Relationships with big age difference are the same as relationships with small age difference.. some work some don't... actually... many men would be more faithful to a younger wife more. Because he basically wouldn't want to loose her. In the same time.. don't be a brat to him. He wouldn't take much bullshit.. just treat him as a respected equal and NEVER be afraid of voicing your opinion.

    In regards to sex.. its really simple.. young guys and old guys have good and bad apples. Some will use you and some will want to commit. doesn't have to do with age.

    If he has a young spirit. and he wants to commit.. you could be golden actually !

    I don't know what to say more... if you have a specific question just ask.

    • what do they usually expect from the younger women?

    • Show All
    • show him you are equal to him from day 1 ... not in a challenging manner.. just in a friendly manner. Tell us how it went.

    • Thank you for best answer ! Hope it's going good !

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • 1. Older guys are more experienced (whether they want to be or not)
    2. Never latch on to a guy who starts with cribbing about marital problems and how bad his wife (or ex-wife) is & how he's felt unloved through his life etc - there are exceptions but a guy who can't handle himself can't handle anyone else
    3. Watch out for sexual traits / history and don't goo too fast into being sexual with him
    4. Watch out for too much sweet talk (I'm not talking about trying to impress kind of stuff - everyone does that)
    5. Being older certainly doesn't mean knowing more in everything, there are things he will look upto you too so don't feel creeped out or that he's not mature
    6. Not every older man is dominating. There are those who are otherwise too. Just steer clear of control freaks (can be found in every age group)
    7. Don't ever think he treats you like a kid cause men (especially those like me) tend to treat a woman they love (in any context or relationship) as a kid and their laughing at them is equivalent to the happiness with which one laughs at a kid's actions. There is respect, admiration and adoring in his laughter.
    8. Try not to patronize or mock him especially for sexual stuff. Not that they will not be versatile but just cause if they haven't accepted their age factor they will always still think 'teen' and compare their performance with their teenages or even p*rn
    9. If he's a guy who's not accepted his age, it's a red flag cause except calendar age he'll lack everything that's got to do with his age ;)
    10. Don't be surprised if you find yourself more controlling of him and he actually loves the idea but again laughs at it :D he'll mean no disrespect but adore the idea
    11. There's so much more...

  • going to go ahead and say that older dudes dating younger women are usually in over their heads or looking for something other than a decent conversation.

    This man is a more mature, experienced, wiser individual. All of which come with age.
    I read a book - Cold Sassy Tree. Hated it, but the relationship worked out, but not without prejudice and hateful opinions from their peers. Just make sure that the people in your contact list aren't very judgmental. The age difference isn't a problem though, it really isn't much between you two either, I was just putting that out there.

    But be yourself and whoever you attract is worth giving a shot. The process of the relationship, however is just like any other relationship, but your partner in this case has probably already made long-term goals and decisions in life, so act accordingly and don't try to alter the course of their life. You may need to mold your long-term schedule to compensate, but hey, everyone's different. ;)

    • I agree with you in the aspect that they grt a lot of grief fron peers. My partner is 13 years older than me, and while it might not be weird for a 40 and 53 year old, people get really offended with a 18 and 33 year old

    • Che che, check out Celine Dion when you get the chance, but it's all about what kind of partner people want in life... if you want a fatherly... grand... great grandfatherly figure as a husband, then be my guest... Just don't invite me to the baby shower...

  • Looking attractive and acting friendly helps (it might be the key to the universe). Probably gear conversation a little more towards serious stuff but not necessarily. I'd say act how you like to and enjoy yourself.

  • Make sure the date is finished before 11 PM... that's about our time of falling asleep on the sofa :-)


What Girls Said 3

  • If you are going to date an older guy - date one who has a child like spirit. A lot of older men choose younger woman because they want somebody that is easy to control, exploit, and dominate. To avoid these types of men - date somebody who has a child like spirit. I am 28 and would never dream of dating an older guy but I am considering one of my friends who is 40 years old or possibly older because my friend is very immature for his age. He is responsible, caring and compassionate but he has a youthful spirit - he doesn't take himself too seriously - isn't over strung with pride - doesn't consider himself better than others - doesn't lay any claims to authorities - and isn't at all jaded or cynical about people. He also lacks aggressive qualities and is very straightforward and lucid in the way he looks at the world - in other words - he is still a child at heart. So I feel okay dating him if it ever leads to that.

    • This is a good solid advice. But make sure that he has a child like spirit in fun areas.. and not child like '' spending habits '' or child like '' level of responsibility'' ... maturity varies within different areas of a man's character.

  • Dont get caught up in drama, if you have a problem, say it up front. Older men dont do the whole drama thing, and everyone is different, but most older men probably aren't into the clyb scene ( at least mine isn't anyway) i mean the only real difference i can think of, is older men generally know what they want already.

  • I guess look attractive, act mature, and act sweet/friendly. Don`t play games.