Should I write her a letter, explaining how I feel?

Basically, I think this girl likes me and is just really busy and shy, or she just isn't interested in me.

I can't tell as I get mixed signals from her, so I want to clear it up:

Examples of mixed signals:
-Ask her out, she says yes and is looking forward to it.
-Text to arrange date, she says shall we invite friends. I reply that I want it to be just us, but she never replies.
-10 days later I see her and SHE, not me, asks when are we going to hangout together.
-We have a great date, see her two days later and ask if she's free again soon- she says she has an exam in a week that she has to work and prepare for, but AFTER that we should do something.
-Text her after the exam and ask if she's free later for drinks.
-She can't make it as she is already going out, "but we should go for drinks another time"- though doesn't specify a time.

So meh. There are arguments for her being interested, but busy and shy. But there are also argents why she might not be interested. I have no idea.

I'm going to try and ask her out for something tomorrow, but if she is busy/has an excuse I think I will write her a letter just saying how I feel, what I like about her, saying we should get to know each other better, and that if she doesn't feel he same that's cool.

I wouldn't call it a love letter, just a polite letter saying how I feel and that if it's a 'no', that's cool and I'll stop asking her.

Side note:

Let's say there's this guy who has invited you out a few times, but you don't know how to say no to him, so inadvertently string him along by saying stuff like 'we should do something soon', 'we should meet up for drinks another time' or even ask 'when are we going to hangout'-

Would you appreciate an honest letter that explains how he feels, but takes the pressure off you by saying he hopes he hasn't made you feel uncomfortable and that it's ok if you don't want to hangout?
Or would it make it worse?

Sorry guys and girls, I know it's long, but I will really appreciate your answers!
Please! :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't write the letter. Don't. Just don't. It's a bad idea because what you're doing is confessing your feelings to a a girl you're not even dating. This will do multiple things:

    1) shift the power dynamic so that she's 100% in control
    2) remove all mystery about how you feel about her
    3) put you in a 'weak' light (you may not be weak but it doesn't matter what you are, only what she thinks you are)
    4) and will probably freak her out. It's a big thing what you're thinking of doing and girls spook easily

    These are all bad things.

    The best thing you can do is slowly feel her out. It sounds to me that she's just stringing you along; giving you non-committal answers because she either is really shy, scared, busy, or she only sees you as a friend and doesn't know how to tell you. Don't text her, but next time you see her ask her out in person and don't leave until she gives you a date that she's available or she rejects you. Don't let her pussyfoot around it any longer. It's a waste of your time.

    If, however, you do feel like gushing your feelings, do it in person.


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