Are we just FWBs? Is this a fling or more?

I have been talking with this guy for 2-3 weeks. We both have a busy schedule, but he texts me good morning everyday and calls to talk almost every other night after work and tell me his schedule. He would also talk to me about his friends and has made me snacks. He has not said "I like you" directly but said things like, "That's how you are, and I like it" a few times. He has asked if he could take me out before. He has also asked if I wanted to be his girl one time while I was half-asleep on the phone.

Recently we went out to have a drink and he held my hand while we were on the streets n stores. Then we went to his place because he wanted to cook for me. It was late and he wanted me to stay overnight and I did. We had sex the next morning. He made me breakfast afterwards and his brother happened to call him wanting to drop by. He let him come and introduced us by names. He later on referred me to his brother as his girl. When he dropped me off, I was going to just get off the car because I was not sure what we were, but he told me to give him his kiss.

We spent the next night together as well and he cooked for us. He woke up early in the morning because he had things to do but let me sleep. I overheard his friend calling him on the phone probably wanting to go over to his house but he told the person "I have company here today", and "she's sleeping now". He let me sleep until late morning and prepared brunch for me.

I felt like we're FWBs because referring me as "company" made me feel like he's pulling distance between us, but I had a friends with benefits before and he did not like to (and would not) hold my hand or be kissed in public; he would not prepare foods for me or contact me as often neither. How do I know where this is going without having to ask him awkwardly out of nowhere?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You need to directly ask him.
    I can't say for sure, but generally, if a guy insists on having certain aspects of girlfriend treatment, yet doesn't make things official, it's usually because...
    1.) he has commitment issues
    2.) he's using you
    Women really just have to be careful about getting too emotionally invested when a guy hasn't officially committed to them because that's how hearts get broken : / That's how women get used and I honestly believe it's the leading cause of "bad girls".

    Anyhow, based on the information given, it's evident that he is fond of you. You just have to be realistic about the fact that if you give it up to a guy too early, many of them will get bored or disinterested in experiencing you on a certain level. I hate to say it, but it sounds like he was interested in you as a girlfriend at first but for some reason, as time passed, that interest decreased. You're going to have to have that 'define the relationship' talk with him to really find out how he views you.

    • Oh, sh**. I didn't realize that you were referring to a past friends with benefits in that last paragraph. Anyhow, you still need to sit down and define the relationship with him. It sounds promising like he really does want to be with you, but you should make it official just to avoid emotional stress like this : ) Good luck!

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    • You can't gather all the answers by yourself. You are going to have to sit down with him and see precisely where his mind is at. The last thing you want to do is play the guessing game only to come to the wrong conclusion : /

    • You have your point about not guessing and I do agree that we will have to have "the talk" one day, but I now also try not to just listen to people's words because actions speak louder than words, especially when I have met quite some liars/cheaters before. This man I am seeing is a lot older. He is divorced and has a teenage girl. I do hope that he knows how to treat and respect a woman like he told me since that's what he wants his daughter to know and he seems to be a good father.

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What Guys Said 1

  • He likes you as a girlfriend, 100%. That is what he wants and looks at you as, his girlfriend. NOT friends with benefits

    • What makes you think so?

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    • Thank you for the support then!

    • Sorry for the confusion. Yes, funkipunk is right. The one who did not care much was the last friends with benefits I had years ago. I do not want to seem too "pushy" or get too emotionally attached with this one before knowing how he sees us.

What Girls Said 1