Too many broken promises?

I've been dating this guy for about two months now, and we've been together for about three. I see him once, maybe twice a week, and every time we hang out he always asks "what are you doing tomorrow? You should come over, etc." and the next day he doesn't really say anything about hanging out and texts me inconsistently throughout that day, and I don't really feel like being the cling-y, annoying girlfriend who's always texting him being like "can I come over? you said I could come over!" you know? Problem is, this has happened probably 10+ times, and at the beginning it used to make me extremely sad, and then I kind of just got used to it. And now, I'm just kind of like, am I wasting my time? I like him a lot, and we're great when we're together, it's just his broken promises that leave me with mixed feelings I guess. Your inputs on what to do?


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What Guys Said 2

  • What do you want from him, specifically?

    I suggest you back off from this guy. Stop contacting him. When/if he contacts you, say, "I like you, and I want to see you. But I don't like [fill in the blank]. What kind of compromise or win-win solution can we reach together?" Be as specific as possible, but don't whine/complain or attack. Be calm, and keep it direct and simple.

    If he's willing to talk it over and reach a compromise you both think is fair, that's a good sign. If he consistently tries to live up to the compromise, that's also a good sign. But if he's defensive, hostile or doesn't work towards the agreement, that's a red flag.

    Also, I suggest you turn off your phone and leave it in a drawer most of the day. "He texts me inconsistently" ... I think texting is a terrible habit. It can create a sense of false connection, devours a lot of your free time, and I think it causes girls *a lot* of trouble. Lots of communication is non-verbal (facial expression, tone of voice). And texting doesn't capture all those subtle elements of communication.

  • sounds like you are more into him then he is into you. don't get too attached if you don't want to end up hurt. relax and take it easy, enjoy your time together and don't stress about the rest. have fun with it, don't turn it into a huge thing and you'll be fine. good luck.


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