Should I ask this girl out or move on?


So I recently started liking one of my friends whom I known for 3 months now. Before I met her I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't ask anyone out until I met some personal goals first. During that time at first I felt like she liked me too. There was some initial interest. Over this period of time the more i got to know her better the more i started to like her. Now 3 months later , having met my goal i wanted to ask her out but before doing so when I saw her yesterday she said that she's been "seeing someone" from her work as she casually explained how her weekend was and when I asked her for how long she said for about a month but she doesn't call him her boyfriend and rejects the title when I playfully teased her about it (I was kinda nervous )

Sorry for run on sentence. Haha.

So I don't know what to do now. We both have a lot of common interests but don't know what to do with this other guy in the picture. Should I ask her out to casual date like coffee or tea per say or should I move on since they've been seeing each other for about a month now? By moving on I mean telling her I can't see her anymore and that we should stop being friends after telling her how I feel (if the feelings not mutual) because I don't think I can handle being friends with her knowing that I like her but she's with someone else. It kinda just hurts.



Most Helpful Guy

  • I know exactly how you feel, I`ve been there, so my advice to you is from personal experience:

    Her being with someone shouldn`t stop you from trying to ask her out. If you make her see you are a better person and that you love her, she might reconsider and go out with you instead. The best way to do this is to ask her about her relationship with the guy. If something is wrong or if there is something she doesn`t like about him, you can show support and discretely show your best qualities/features. That way, she`ll see that you care about her and want to be by her side, but try not to make it look like you`re being friendly otherwise you`ll end up in the "friend zone". Gaze in her eyes, be compassionate, hold her hand - make her see you wish to be more than friends. From there, you can slowly move on to asking her out.

    I hope I was clear enough :D

    • Thanks! It helped a lot and makes sense. My only problem is that time is not on my side. Classes end in about a week and a half (and I only see her twice a week) so I dont really have the time to show my "best qualities/features" gradually. So I can't really move slowly.

    • I`m glad I could help haha

      Anyway, if you`re out of time and don`t get to see her so often, I think you should call her as soon as possible and tell her to meet you or something (for example - go to a carneval, to the movies, to a play or just some coffee). When you are there where you want to be, just go for it! Compliment her, hold her hand (if she allows it), flirt a little and see what happens! Just don`t go too fast, otherwise you might mess it up... a lot! :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • Being that she Is seeing someone else, tells me she is not going anywhere too soon. Unless she breaks off with "this other guy in the picture," the only thing you can do right now is----either handle being her friend or just casually be an acquaintance.
    And, of course, as you know, friends Do have coffee or tea from time to time, but it all depends on her if she would call this "cheating." You would have to find out.
    If you do decide to move on because you can't take the pressure, there is no need for any explanation. Just keep things lite and semi sweet from here on in, and look for someone who is more available. xx

  • Don't ask her out, she's not interested

    She's moved on


What Guys Said 0

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