Girls, have you ever known a guy that wanted you in their life to improve their situation?

I'm talking to a guy right now, well we are friends. For about a year now.
And he says things to me that makes me feel he views me as his savior or something.

Like he needs me, or someone, to be able to move out of his parent's again.

Tells me I'm his security blanket and that he feels he can do things when with me, and that he feels safe.

I sometimes feel like he's the damsel in distress.

He used to live with an ex girlfriend and told me they couldn't afford heat. Seriously? They're still friends, she's with someone new. But he won't tell me any specific reason why they broke up. Just that they are better as friends.
But why couldn't they afford heat? And I guess she couldn't afford her own bills too.

Makes me think about his reliability and all of that. And willingness to work hard. Does he see me as moneybags as I have a good job, live on my own, etc?

Curious what wisdom anyone can give me on this subject. We live quite a distance from eachother and so I don't see him face to face often. It's like I'm piecing a puzzle together from far away.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Get rid of him. I know guys like him. People who don't have drive or need someone else to make them feel important are born losers. You don't know if they are born missing a chromosone or his mother drank during the pregnancy.

    A man normally has goals and determination enough to want to take care and protect a woman not hand the pants over to the woman ever.

    Good luck, get rid of the trash, you can do bad without help.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • Yeah. I have a friend that I met overseas - we e-mail back and forth but I am suspicious that he is just using me for money. I think he wants to come to my country and live at my house so that he doesn't have to pay rent when he is doing his university degree here. The reason I say this is because every time I say something that suggests that I'm wealthy he will send me a long reply to my e-mail but if I do something to suggest that I am poor - such as taking a picture of a wooden wall and giving him the impression that I live in a cabin, he will send me a very short e-mail the next day. I guess I was so lonely that I thought that I wanted to be friends with him anyway, even if he was trying to take my money. He was also very attractive but I know it's not worth it.

  • Regardless of his ulterior motives or intentions... doesn't that just turn you off? Yuck!

    • It does! It really does. I like him very much but as a friend. I've never had someone act like this with me before. Makes me wonder if I will again, am curious of others experiences!

    • Show All
    • After 4 more years of paying all of the bills and putting him through school, he got 'tired' of me. He said that I was too controlling. LOL. Imagine that. I OWNED everything and paid everything and he felt I was too controlling.
      We split up but not before I had to give him $50,000 for his 'share' of the equity to the house. And we weren't even married yet! I would probably be giving him alimony!

      Advice: be friends and date people who are your equals or higher... people who can teach you something... people who have their shit more together than you do. Most men won't admit it, but they DO NOT like women who have more than them (better job, more money, etc.) Like my ex put it, it gives the woman more 'control'. And most women won't admit it, but they really don't like men who show weakness.

    • My daughter (by the way she's 23) has a friend from college. They've been friends since high school and they are really close. He's 25, still lives at home, no job, obese, doesn't even have a driver's license! He had my daughter to take him to school and buy him cigarettes. He did help her study but that's not the point. She finally had enough and told him that he needed to get his act together. That she was not going to stay around for his pity party. He's cleaned up! He started dieting. Got a part-time job... just a lot of self-improvement. So sometimes we're really not helping someone by helping someone... if you get what I mean.

  • Whether or not he's onto something.. tell him he's mistaken and that you're not going to improve his financial situation.. let him work his own financial standing out on his own.. you are not his savior and that is very unhealthy/unfair for him to view you in that light.