Online dating etiquette? Thanks.

I've been trying online dating for awhile and have had minimal success. . Anyways when I spend the time to write a nice message I don't get one response at all. When this happens i ask the women was there something wrong with my profile or am I ugly. Is it wrong to ask the women this on online dating?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I have found that with online dating, for I have done a bit of this myself, and even married a man in Egypt, who had found me on Facebook , that if you don't get responses, get wrong vibes, just move on to someone else. Don't bother asking questions, don't trouble yourself in finding out Why, just go on to someone who really gives a damn, and don't look back to what was not meant to be. xx

    • Thank you Paris. . I'd ask them cuz I felt they thought I wasn't good enough

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    • How can you tell?

    • Just by your writing and speaking to you here..and this is How you find someone..xx

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • If you ask why you were rejected (although that's an honest question), it's not exactly attractive.

    From my personal experience, guys tend to spam "Hi how r u?"s into every girl's inbox, who they found attractive. I wonder if they're using bots for that, given that some were misspelled identically.

    Whenever I see someone complaining about being unsuccessful at online dating, I always have to question their approach. Do you actually read the girl's profile? Or do you just message her, because she's pretty?
    I know I had DOZENS of messages from guys, who completely ignored my profile and kept going at it about how great we would be together, even though we had nothing in common as well as our world outlooks clashed. Example:
    Me: atheist Him: devout Christian/Muslim
    Me: pro-choice Him: pro-life
    Me: support LGBT Him: God hates fags
    Me: don't want kids Him: wants x kids
    Me: equal partnership Him: wants a stay at home subordinate

    I was really annoyed by getting messages from such guys. I'm like DUDE, there is literally NOTHING about you that I like, go away, but these men would be very persistent and annoying.

    Sites like Okcupid make you answer hundreds of questions that will match you up to someone, who shares your views. Find your closest matches and approach them as people.

    • You assume I just message hello. . I read their profiles which are actually novels and comment on what I feel I have with them in common

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    • Well I already made a vow to myself that I'm never going to look for a girl especially since I know I'm good for nothing

    • That's the spirit!

  • I posted an ad online and got about 40 - 60 responses within 36 hours before my ad was flagged and that might be why you aren't getting a lot of responses. Try looking for a woman who hasn't posted her photo online, hasn't given out a lot of information about herself etc... she is less likely to have 60 guys chasing after her. When you have that many options - first impression is everything.

  • Honestly, yes. I wouldn't ask. If they aren't interested, that's all there is to it. They just aren't interested. Pressing it will only make things more uncomfortable. You'll find someone eventually, but don't expect a response just because you message someone.

    • The problem is my profile doesn't even get views

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    • I think it's my looks. . I've been told I'm a 5

    • Well confidence works wonders, seriously.

What Guys Said 5

  • I think it's a little strange to ask them this because it puts them in a position of having to decide whether or not they want to run the risk of offending you. I mean if you think someone is unattractive do you really feel comfortable saying, "yeah I really don't find you physically attractive" ?

    I think in the online dating world, and it is how I met my fiancé, you do deal with the non-responses a lot. I know I did. I know it's frustrating, but for me I just felt like if a girl didn't respond then I was going to move on and not get hung up on the matter. as it means you aren't working to meet someone else.

    • She could just say not interested but to not respond when you put effort into a message then that's them being cowardly

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    • Rejection isn't nice for anyone. Let me guess you have a gf?

    • yes but it doesn't mean I haven't been rejected, dealt with heartbreak, etc.

  • Try tinder.

    And it's less about making intelligent conversation and more about having fun and flirting.

    • Every message I send out doesn't get a response.. my profile doesn't get viewed

    • Because most online dating sucks compared to real life. Think about it. Online, you're one of 50 blase messages she gets. Just an email, hoping to "spark."

      In person, you're one of maybe a handful of people that hit on her that week. Probably no one else hit on her that day. You get to make a human connection, and if you're good, you can show three things women live. The balls to actually talk to women in real life, hopefully humor in your conversation, and the smarts required to make a conversation that flows smoothly enough it can be fun.

  • Yes it is wrong to ask that. It shows you're not confident in yourself and is an instant turnoff. You have to understand that online dating is a numbers game, and skewed heavily against guys.

    • Ok but I shouldn't have gotten banned off that site just for asking that

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    • If these girls don't tell me what's wrong with me how will I ever know?

    • Dude, I'm telling you, and so have others. It's a numbers game, disregard the 'wrong' and focus on what is right. Don't badger these women and don't assume it's you.

  • No, you could ask her that but you need to be more confident. Women LOVE confident men, so be like "hey, are you hot enough for me?" Just be natural

    • Well I got banned from pof cuz I was asking women if there was something wrong with my profile or me


    • They're the boss

  • Etiquette is someone doesn't have to write you back after you initiate contact if they aren't interested.

    • I bet you're the guy that women always contact and that's why you don't sympathize with me.. it's funny the women on this site are more sympathetic with me than the guys