I want to be exclusive but he doesn't. Why? Is it something wrong with me?

I have been in a casual relationship for a year now and it's been almost 2 months since I heard from him. Well, a few days ago he contacted and I took it upon myself to finally admit that I had feelings for him and no longer wanted to have sex. He said that was fine because he didn't know I felt that way and didn't want anyone getting hurt. Well I was surprised by his response and he said he didn't know why I was shocked because I only contact him at night anyway. After pondering on this I texted him last night saying that I was mad. His response went as follows:
Him: u had all day to text me and yet you text me after midnight. This is what I was talking about earlier.
Me: I will text you earlier then

Soo... Today I sent him this

Me:I didn't say I wanted a relationship although I may have someday I said I caught feelings and your didn't have to be an ass with your response but now I know how you feel though
Him: I am not in the mood to talk or have a discussion about this. I haven't heard from you in how long and then you hit me with this
Me: are you ever going to be in the mood
Him:not right now I'm not

I am mad and my feelings are hurt by this. Why would he even contact me 2 months later if he never wanted anything? He could have just let us move on with our lives


Most Helpful Girl

  • The two of you are on completely different pages, and dealing with miscommunication. Maybe he reached out to you to have a friendship with you...not necessarily to date you. Also, he has a point. If you want something substantial with someone, messaging them late like that does not indicate that.

    Also, your follow up text to him was NOT the way to go if you want someone to communicate with you. Calling him an ass is attacking his character. Why would someone want to continue a conversation with you when you're insulting them? Thats precisely why he was in NO mood to further the conversation...i wouldn't want to either. Communication is a two way street. You could have reached out to him as well and communicated better I'm sure. At this rate, the two of you are going no where fast. Learn to communicate better. It might get you somewhere.

    • I am preoccupied during the day with work and school so I text him once I'm settled and had a chance to breath. I am also a night owl per se and he knows this so this is my reasoning for texting later.

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    • You're welcome.

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What Guys Said 1

  • If you want to be exclusive with a guy, don't be sleeping casually with him for 10 months.

    Them's the breaks.

    It's like, if you want to sleep with a girl, don't try to be her friend and then three months later make a move on her.

    • Intially I didn't want to be exclusive but once sex is involved and spending time together...my feelings started to develop. I was involved and hooked on someone else when I started talking to him

    • You're like a guy who becomes friends with a girl, pals around with her as a buddy for a few months, then decides to make a move.

      Ain't happening. You want to be exclusive? Find a new guy, and if you're not exclusive within a couple of months, you're probably not going to be.

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