Spilled my guts to a girl, info inside.

I told this girl my true feelings I had toward her and well, it didn't go well then I don't know what happened?

She said that she knows who she is, and that she is not who I think she is/ want her to be.

I'd ask her why she thinks that way and follow up with how smart and perfect she is and she'd say omg i'm not.

I could see she was becoming visibly upset, so I reached out with one arm to hug her and she hugs me deeply with 2 arms for like 3-4 seconds and I hug her back ( felt like forever).

We talk a little bit more, she seems less upset but still putting herself down saying she's not great, you'll find someone else. So I put my arm on her shoulder and say I really do care about you and walk with her for a bit with the arm on her shoulder. She's then like, hey don't make me not talk to you at all, because I kinda left my arm around her as we walked.

What do you guys think of this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you overwhelmed her. Telling her that she's the smartest or that she's perfect might have made her uneasy. Do not put pressure on her, because the moment you tell her she's perfect, she feels like that is what's expected from her: a perfect girl. The truth is, nobody is perfect and nobody likes disappointing the people who love us. She is imperfect, but just the right amount of everything you want a girl to be.

    Don't flatter her so much to the point that she feels pressured to be a model or a definition. She's just herself and herself is great. I hope you get what I was trying to say


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Some bitches have too many issues these days. Why can't people be normal?


What Guys Said 1

  • You aren't in love with her, you're in love with your mental image of her.

    She's smart enough to know this, and doesn't want you because of it.

    • Well, what difference would that make?

      She doesn't want him because he's not in love with a realistic interpretation of her. I could get how that might be annoying or off putting, I guess.. (Not really)

      But, if she were attracted to him that probably wouldn't matter anyway. I can't imagine a girl that has a mutual crush on a boy that professes a crazy idealized love for her would then all of a sudden say, "Even though I was crushing on you five minutes ago, I've changed my mind because you don't get me."

      I guess that's how the work though? They'd do exactly that? I'd just say, "Well maybe you don't really get me, but we can work on that."

      TLDR, She's not attracted to you. (Probably because girls are only attracted to guys that aren't invested in them)