Experienced online daters - what are some general tips for making a good profile?

I haven't had the kind of luck I've wanted with online dating, and I'm wondering if part of the problem could be my profile. I always wonder if I'm including the right info, too much or too little, and if it sounds more like I'm applying for a job than looking for someone to be compatible with.

What are some general tips that more experienced online daters can give me?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I've done the online dating thing for a long time so I'll throw stuff in.

    Without a full body photo, you're considered a potential "catfish." So many guys are unwilling to take the risk of meeting a potential whale. This includes overhead angled photos as they hide lovehandles.

    You want a profile to be about you, but not everything about you. Find that middle ground. You also need to state the kind of guy you get along best with. So I would say make it 3/4 about you and 1/4 as to "what you're looking for." About you talk about job, education, fun activities, etc. Then state what kind of guy you'd like to meet.

    A couple of "do not" things I'll throw in. Some is common sense, but others not-so-much.
    Don't rant about exes.
    Don't have a "shopping list" at the end of your profile (basically a list of "must have's in a guy).
    Don't be generic. Ex: "I'm a nice girl looking for a good guy" because you're then exactly like all the other girls online.

    and critically...
    Don't email or reply to anyone you're not willing to meet in person based on their profile. If you cannot decide whether or not you can spend 20mins over coffee with them, just don't reply. Most girls online waste many guys' time and even openly admit they just do it for attention. Meet people in person!


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What Guys Said 4

  • For me the first thing is to make sure you have a full body shot, and definitely make sure you're using recent pictures. A lot of girls view their bodies negatively and don't realize that even though men might swoon over hot models we do have realistic expectations and taste when it comes to real women. It's irritating to meet a girl and she looks completely different then she did in her photos, it can be a big waste of her and my time if she looks different.

    Write about you in a way that gives me something to talk about when I message you. If you're on OKcupid please make sure that you don't just say "message me because you want to", give some clues as to what you like to talk about. And I also feel that you should avoid cliche things like about how you like sarcasm. We all know that every girl wants to be the cute sarcastic girl :/ (which I can't stand by the way .)

    Also mention things that would make it easy for me to suggest a date based on your interest.

    Even if I see a girl that I find very attractive I won't message her if she's got an empty profile or if the profile gives me nothing to talk to her about.

    If it looks like a girl really didn't put any effort into making her profile then I'll assume she won't put any effort into reading messages and replying to mine. I don't care how hot she is, my time would be better spent elsewhere.

    • SO if a girl has her hair down and is wearing makeup because those pictures happened to be from special occasions, but she usually wears her hair in a ponytail and only wears makeup sometimes, would that be too big of a difference?

      I try to give enough info about myself to give the reader the chance to ask more specific questions, but not so much that they feel like they know everything. For instance, for sections on favorite music, etc. I just list the basic genres I like and mention that I've been to a lot of concerts. I don't know if that's specific enough, but I don't want to give away all the fun details either.

    • That would be a big difference and you don't want someone to think you look that way all the time. Include both types of pictures, this way I can say "She's cute", and then say "Woah! She dresses up nicely". A common complaint from guys is how long it takes a girl to get ready to go somewhere, if you show you look good and confident when you're not dolled up that's a plus :)

      If you're just listing musical genres that's not enough info.
      Here's an example

      (Poor) I like rock, pop, downtempo, and r'n'b.
      (Great) I like Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Bonobo, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and I love and have seen Metric live.

      The 2nd example gives me something to chat about, I've never seen Metric in concert, what was it like, when did you see them? Red Hot Chilli Peppers are so overplayed, why do you like them? What's your favorite album of theirs they used to be wayyy better (I'm just making up stuff.)

      Give enough info for guys who read to chat. It'll help get you good messages.

    • Okay, these are some great tips. Thanks!

  • Here is what I look for/notice in a girls profile.

    Pictures; have at least 3, don't be making a stupid face, or one that is worthless because I can't clearly see you. Have one show your face clearly and another showing your full body if you can.

    Info: Don't write a book, I don't want to read for 10 min only to find something I didn't like. Make it relatively short and to the point, list hobbies, job, basically talking points. Do not make it too generalized. Yes, every girl is sarcastic, loves country music, and going out with friends. This tells me nothing about YOU! List something unique that will catch my attention.

  • Be honest. Be thorough. Be personable.

    Painting a portrait of yourself with words is hard because it's easy to be vague and hard to be valuable.

  • From what I hear even the ugliest/fattest girls get flooded with messages on POF. Try POF.

    • First of all, that doesn't answer my question. Second, I do use POF and have gotten a few messages on there. Third, I'm neither ugly, nor fat. I'm not looking for advice on how to get more messages, just on attracting messages from guys that are more serious about dating than who I've already gone out with.

    • Ok. Upload hot pictures. Filter for the guys you want out of the messages you get. Send messages. Done.

What Girls Said 1

  • I'm not an expert but that's how I met my boyfriend. From what I was looking tom guys I can tell you this:

    -Two or three pictures of you in different situation. At last one that show well your face and other with friend, smiling...it's way better than pictures in your bathroom.

    - in the information, write the facts, a lot of them people like to see that you care enough of the site to take a moment to do it.

    - As for your description, try to be original, show who you are. Don't stick to the basics.