I am not sure if I was just dating more "clingy"/"caring"/"sweet" guys/men before, or if the man I am seeing now is actually just not "caring" as much as they did.
My ex-boyfriends were all those who'd texts/calls to say good morning and good night daily, on top of checking in multiple times during the day and phone calls. They'd make sure that I got from one place to another place safe, I ate well, I dressed warm etc. At first, I was like, "Why wouldn't I be safe?", "Why wouldn't I know to eat if I'm hungry?" or "Why wouldn't I be able to take care of myself?", when I received those messages, but I guess I got used to it after having that done to me daily for years. And now, to my new man, I somehow feel like, "why doesn't he care if I'm safe getting to places (or home) or if I'm well?" I wonder why we don't talk to/text each other a lot, and I worried when he didn't contact me at night.
I feel like I might have been "programmed" to have a "clingy" mindset now even though I try not to show it because I don't like it. If I push myself to think LOGICALLY, I'd ask myself, "You're an independent grown woman. Why'd someone have to constantly worry if you get home safe or not if you've been doing that daily all these years? Why'd you want someone to think that you're retarded enough to not know to eat when you're hungry, or to wear more layers when you're cold?" but then when feelings kick in (where you start to think about how much others "care"/"cared" about you), I start to question why'd others "care" about me more than he does. I've been seeing this new man for about a month, and I feel like he's just being "normal" (like how I once was) and I see how he shows me he pays attention to me in other ways. I don't want these little things to be the dealbreakers because logically I KNOW they ain't big deals and are unnecessary. How do I adjust my mindset back to "normal" so I won't be bothered by those things?
Most Helpful Guy
Each guy is different. Those things the other guys did for you, I would not call them clingy at all. Im the type of guy that does those things not because I am clingy but because I care about her and I want to express that. I don't think she is dumb or retarded, I ask those things to show her that I care about her and I want to make her feel special and that is one small thing I can do to show that. If a guy doesn't do those things, that doesn't make him uncaring, he is just different. Hopefully, he shows he cares about you in different ways. Neither one is right or wrong. They are just different. Try to think about it like that. Maybe you will discover you like one over the other.0