Is it ok for girls you are dating to tell other men that their relationship isn't serious and get close to them?

I met a friends with benefits about 9 months ago and we both sort of developed feelings and still continue to see each other... we both hate infidelity so we agreed to respect each other and not see other people.

The reason why it isn't official yet is because I might be moving abroad it's not a sure deal yet...

my friends with benefits girl met a guy at work and he started giving her gifts and asked her if he had a chance to try to date her to which she says she said "no i'm seeing someone and i'm happy" but she accepted his gifts and would instagram pictures of the gifts with <3 hearts... as well as talk to him about me and somehow he knew I might be leaving to which i don't know why she would bring me up in their convo.

One day he offered her a ride to work and she took it instead of asking me... while on the car she claims he tried to abuse her and tried to tear her clothes and touch her.. she called the police and that was settled..

Now she met a guy through her aunt and they went in a group of 4 to dinner and according to her the guy asked her if her relationship with me was serious and she stayed quiet and laughed it off..

Should I trust this girl? do you guys think she is saying the truth and haven't been with anyone but me? Isn't wrong for her to talk to other guys about me?

I would like to make it official later down the road but I don't know if I can trust her with my eyes closed...


Most Helpful Girl

  • Look she's getting attention from other guys, is unsure of where you stand because you may be leaving, and is probably using that attention to get a reaction out of you.
    I don't think she is cheating, she wouldn't tell you about the other guys at all if she was actually doing that.
    But she definitely is letting you know that you two need to figure this out soon, cause she doesn't know what your relationship is, as demonstrated by her reaction to that last guys question.
    I think you should trust her, she's been open with you about the attention she gets after all. In terms of her talking to other guys about you, considering the fact that you are worried she is cheating, how is her telling other guys that she is taken a bad thing? Also sometimes girls just want the opinions of another guy, to try and figure their own boys out.

    • Makes a lot of sense... thank you so much for taking your time :) I guess I just have trust issues since my last gf played me for a fool I was very naive back then and sometimes we make the mistake of blaming everyone for one person's actions. :(

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Yes, and it's best that way. Both you and she need lots of good sex with a variety of partners. Don't try to get exclusive rights over her because you'll only disappoint yourself when a bustier, blonder, slimmer or bluer-eyed girl issues you an invitation.


What Guys Said 2

  • having a friends with benefits is not good and cool in the first place, you are complicating things by yourself, if she really want to make it to the next level in your relationship, she should have done it already i guess this friends with benefits is using you for her satisfaction

  • Well, like you said.. you two are friends with benefits and you might be moving abroad; so it sounds like she's just seeing what else is out there. If you want her all to yourself, then ask her to be your girlfriend already. A girl can't wait forever. She doesn't belong to you. She's probably not sleeping with other guys but why should she be hung up about a guy who hasn't committed to her?

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