Is he a man child or is the silent treatment a normal thing?

Okay, quick rundown.. I've been dating this guy for roughly 4 months. Everything is great until it comes time for a disagreement. He doesn't argue. Period. Instead he shuts down and ignores me. First time we argued he ignored me for 2 days and then finally asked me to meet up and talk. Fast forward 3 weeks later to this Saturday. I got snappy with him via text and instantly I got the silent treatment. I sent him roughly 3 or 4 texts trying to speak to him throughout the night. No response. The next afternoon I texted asking if he wanted to talk about things or if he was just over us, his response was "honestly, I don't know right now." I said okay. That was two days ago and still not a word. This just seems beyond immature to me that every time we hit a little tension he immediately shuts down and begins doubting our relationship. by the way , he's 26 and I'm almost positive I'm his first gf since high school. I need advice, please. Should I try contacting him again, let it be, or just assume it's over? Someone help me understand this dude.

Thanks for the advice guys. I ended up texting him today and asked if we could talk, he agreed... and met me at a park this evening and dumped me. Said he wasn't happy and that I deserved someone who was more emotional. Can't lie, I'm heartbroken.


Most Helpful Guy

  • He sounds like the average woman.You can tell him that, and tell him he's got the balls of a girl.

    The best thing that can happen to people like that is to have fucked relationships for the rest of their life.That's exactly what does happen, because they have no communication skill.


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What Guys Said 3

  • *Yoda impersonation* Too old! Too old to begin the training.

    Star Wars aside, I think human maturity ends for males at 25. He may change and grow as a person throughout his life, but the 'core' of who he was at 25 is who he will be for the rest of his life. Changing things like, say, an opinion on politician X is not what I am talking about.

    While he can learn new communication skills, in fact I know someone who did who was over 50, this comes extremely difficultly and through massively life altering experiences.

    So the long and short of it is:
    He can change, but probably won't.

    The second point I need to raise here is that it is not your responsibility to 'fix' him or help him grow in this area that he should have developed in over the last 26 years.

    So yeah, I'd bail. I do think letting him know the reason why would be nice though so he can use the breakup as a learning point later on (although I highly suspect he will not learn from it now).

  • Well it looks like you care, and that means that if you leave him he will be the one losing. Second he doesn't want you to have the upper hand which in most cases when the women has it the relationship is pretty much doomed to failure, at the same time the respect should be mutual and it is better you talk these things well, if he allows you, ultimately is your decision if you want to be with him or not.


    ...he's unstable, unsure, and being too reserved/defensive to face the truth/facts


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