Girl takes a week+ to consider second date. Indecisive, careful, or just not interested?

TLDR Version: Talked to a girl over OkCupid for a while, and then met her in person. It seemed to go well. When I suggested a second date she said she'd consider it, went silent for a few days, and then started talking to me again. No sign that she's made up her mind. Not sure whether to keep talking, stop talking, or ask her directly if she's made up her mind.

Longer version:
The date seemed to go pretty well, but when I suggested seeing her again she said:
"I'll consider it." to which I replied, "Hah, alright. Enthusiasm, I like it."

I didn't expect to hear from her again. 3 days later, however, she sent me a message about some random topic and didn't even address the issue of seeing me again. I mentioned that I hadn't expected to get another message from her, and she said: "'I'll consider it' does not mean no as of now, I'm just not one to rush into decisions."

I took this to mean that she was still considering it. She then jumped back into regular conversation, and we've been talking again for the last 5 days. I really don't know what to make of it. My gut says she's just trying to friendzone me but she knows I'm not interested in friendship, so it's possible that she has other motives.

It seems like I can either keep talking to her and wait for her to make up her mind, address the white elephant in the room and tell her that it's time I focused my attentions on someone more interested, or just come right out and ask her if she's made up her mind. Advice?


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should ask her again. Persistence is effective.


What Guys Said 1

  • The thing about OKcupid is that people have options. She is probably dating others and deciding whether it's worth seeing you again. The date may have gone okay, not terribly bad and not terribly good. She's trying to figure out if she likes you enough, and if your worth seeing again. On your next date make sure you impress the hell out of her with either your personality, good looks, or charm. Or do something fun. If you have to ask for a second date chances are the first date was boring. Good luck my friend. DOne.

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