What do I do when I want a relationship but the guy doesn't right now?

I've been talking to this guy since December . He works overseas and was home for a month, but we only hung out 3 times. We say we like each other and are not talking to or interested in anyone else, but there is no label.I asked him if he would want to date eventually, and he said he does he is just taking it slow and doesn't want to rush without getting to know me, and he feels bad he is gone. He told me he has never had a long-distance relationship work because the girl either breaks up with him or cheats on him.

Is he giving me a cop out? How much longer do I have to wait for him to decide if he wants to date me? (He'll be back in June or July) We usually talk on a daily basis, but how can we get to know each other deeply if not a lot of deep talks are happening?

I'm getting to that point where I want to start pulling away because I'm getting so frustrated, turning down guys and waiting for him when he doesn't even say straight up what he wants.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, since he'll be back in June or July, I'd say wait it out until then. Start hanging out more in person when he gets back, and after a little while ask him if he wants it to turn into something more. If he's still hesitant, I'd say he's either not interested enough, or just stringing you along for an ego boost. Your relationship has potential, it seems like you need to give him some more time to get back etc.
    But of course, if you don't want to wait until June/July, you don't have to.


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  • It is unfair to not know where you are in all of this.
    I don't know what his problem is whether it's about a few girls who have hurt him in the past or if he's really just giving you the flick.

    But seeing as this is a long distance friendship and you don't know what's going on, I would continue dating other guys until he can make time for you. You aren't in a relationship with this guy yet, so he can't hold you down.

    But if you don't want to go out with other guys and feel the need to wait, at least talk to him tell him how you feel understand what he means and where he is coming from. You won't know until you really talk it out with him coz only then will you realise whether he's worth waiting for.