How can I adapt / lower my standards to maybe get a girlfriend someday?

I will be turning 24 soon and I have never had a girlfriend or a date for that matter.

This is probably in part to my high standards for potential girlfriends which are really unfair and also unrealistic too. Maybe they come from my mom being gorgeous I don't know.

I just know on a physical level I cannot play in the league I want to like I'm a bit chubby 6'4 guy not Brad Pitt.

Emotionally I'm not exactly a social butterfly.

I just wonder how I can change what I want in a woman without feeling like settling, because in reality I wouldn't be, and maybe get to go out with a nice girl sometimes.

by the way I realize I sound like an arrogant piece of shit but these are just my honest feelings ( and part of my non existent charm ;)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Get in shape. Nobody can expect something they don't bring to the table.

    Work out "must haves" and try to cut it down to 3-4 traits.

    Don't try to prove yourself with a woman. Do you really need a dime to be turned on? Probably not. Is it possible you think having a show stopper would make you feel better about not having much game? Likely.

    Find what you really need vs what's just your insecurity and ego talking. A girl you're attracted to who treats you good and honestly wants you will make you feel better than showing up with the hottest chick who isn't all that into you on a deep level. Look at celebs and other rich guys who trade fortune and fame for looks - many still aren't satisfied. Going for the emotionally cheap thrill is easier, but often less gratifying.

    Also, get your self esteem together for your own sake, not just to score chicks.

    Good luck.


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What Girls Said 2

What Guys Said 4

  • You're completely normal. Most people have unrealistic physical standards when they have no personal experience. I have a number of theories as to why but in any case I urge you to get out there and date and fool around a little with real living breathing girls.

    And lose some damn weight too. But work on both don't put one off to work on the other.

  • I could say the same to u mang. Its best to swallow up ur fears and start putting urself out there and start a convos with different kinds of ladies. U will eventually find one of ur taste just like ice cream. there's many kinds of flavors and u gotta taste them all first to see which u like best. Its best to put looks aside and go for personality. Looks have a high chance of destroying ur relationship compare to a good personality person.

  • Well, do you think you can change your standards and at the same time increase your erotic capital (make yourself more attractive)? Sort of have your standards and your physical attractiveness meet half way?

    • By the way, I don't think you're necessarily "an arrogant piece of shit."

  • That's the wrong approach. Improve yourself so you can achieve the dream that is lodged in your head. We all do it :)

    • Yeah but my life is no Hollywood movie!

    • I did it. I made the conscious decision to be way more social after being consumed with grades in high school. It worked. It can work for you.

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