I can't stop comparing my bf to other guys?

I love my bf but everytime we're out and i see a hotter guy with bigger muscles or a nicer face and style, or a guy who is really hot and obviously richm or is taller or something i get kind of frustrated and i can't help comparing my bf to them. i know its really bad. but it is normal?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It is normal. It's also just a sign that you really wish he wasn't himself and basically that you settled for less. Ouch.

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    • Have you never had this issue while dating someone?

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    • I realize i read that wrong. I meant have you compared your girlfriends to other girls

    • Me? No. I make my choices and I stick by them.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 10

  • Sorry about that, but no. Maybe you should reconsider the L-word. If you truly love your boyfriend, you are going to compare THEM to your boyfriend. Of course, it's totally normal to get impressed by another guy who is obviously more attractive, but keep in mind that you chose each other for a reason. If you can't help it, there's no shame in it, it's just that you probably aren't ready for a relationship. Since you are still young, nobody is going to hold you responsible for goofing around, provided you are honest with your man and break off the relationship.

    Another point is that most of the traits you listed are attainable, while the qualities for which I guess you chose this guy as your partner aren't. Everyone can get bigger muscles by working out, and working hard and smart brings money around.

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    • yeah thats true i guess. he used to have more muscle when we started dating

  • Depends on what you mean by "comparing" and what you are frustrated about. If comparing means simply realizing one guy is cuter, or more muscular, or dreamier, or just taller, shorter, etc., then you are just observing and perhaps admiring, and nothing wrong with that. If you mean you are feeling like you have someone who is not as good as you want, if you are wishing you were with the other guy, then that is definitely bad. And it is not normal.

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    • thanks for your advice

  • yeah its normal

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  • For me no.

    I really have a wandering eye but I'm not actively comparing unless I'm feeling especially unhappy with my relationship.

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  • yes, it's normal.

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  • Not normal

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  • It's normal Hypergamy, otherwise known as monkey branchingandwhy a growing number of men have stopped dating permanently.

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  • I think that is normal.

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  • This guy you are with is not the full course meal that makes you salivate, he's the left overs after the dinner party that were left out for the dog to eat. You lust after the full fresh meal, but for what ever reason, you can't acquire it. Every time you eat, you are still hungry, and will never be satisfied.

    It's perfectly normal... and is why I don't take relationships seriously... never commit... don't date.. and will never marry.

    I get girls lusting after me that are married, or in long term relationships all of the time. They are never satisfied, and never will be...

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  • Yes, it's quite normal. Girls are always out for the upgrade. Do like most girls - Stop fighting yourself. Just go with it.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I think it's normal (at least for most people). Tbh It doesn't happen to me (I am an exception because I can't get attracted to anyone else except from the man I love), but I've noticed that plenty of people have the tendency to compare their partners with other people. Do you ever wish you were with the other guy? Would you be okay if you knew that he compares you to other girls?

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    • Noo i wouldn't like it. I have thought about this but i still can't stop doing it. For a brief moment, like maybe a few minutes i will wish i was with the other guy but then it goes away

    • In that case you need to start controlling your thoughts. For example start thinking about irrelevant things or refrain yourself from staring at other guys. I think you can stop it if you want to. I believe that everyone has enough willpower to control their thoughts and desires.

  • i think it's normal.. i'm also like that but not with the looks but more on the personality like there's one suitor that i have before when we were on his car, he is always so cool and patient even if the traffic is bumper to bumper. i always remember him every time me and my bf is stuck in traffic and my bf is pissed/mad because of it lol

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  • That's why you should date the person you feel 100% attracted to/who fits your standards.
    I refuse to date anyone who does not fit my standards.

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  • You dont even love him :).

    Let me tell you bout live ,

    ( you live a guy, you see him perfect, and you see no other guy)

    Got it? He deserves better

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  • Are you sure you love him or are you just using the security he provides?

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  • No it's not. If you love your bf you wouldn't compare

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