Should i get serious with a girl that still keeps in touch with her ex?

I met a girl she's 26 and has a small kid... I myself have no kids but i'm responsable enough for it not to bother me at all in terms of financial status.

Problem is she lives like 2 minutes away from the kids dad.. apparently they have nothing going on but he still doesn't accept the fact that she is with me and he goes into her home as if he had rights to do so.

He takes care of the kid while she's at work and at night she drops by to pick him up.. when she has to take him to the doctor she goes with him instead of asking me even tho she seems madly in love with me and according to her has no feelings at all for him.

It bother's me that he's around and she knows it but it's something that won't change... what should i do? pursue something more or keep my distance?


Most Helpful Guy

  • If she has a child you should be pleased that she maintains contact with the childs father. Of course they will go to the doctors together with the child if they can, its the mature and right thing to do. Where kids are concerned you have to think of the childs welfare not your own. You will only ever understand this once you are a parent yourself, and if your relationship with the kids mother breaks down you will appreciate her wanting you involved with your childs welfare. Well done to her I say !

    • I understand that part but also there are many couples who have kids and separate doesn't mean they continue to do everything together because of a child they had together... I offered her my help and everything I can to make her life easier and to make sure there is a chance for us to have something formal without a 3rd person involved. Why would you say well done to her keeping her ex boyfriend in her life even after she wants something serious with me?

    • Because you are not the father of that child HE is and you have to accept this. No child I would tell you to walk away. Primarily she is a mother, end of. Just because some don't take their parental responsibility seriously doesn't make it right. Child minding, school open evenings, sports days etc be prepared to option number 2.

    • I never said I was the father, and you sound like I have something against her son which I don't... what I do have something against is despite her having her own place telling me to leave every time her "ex" decides to butt in even when we are in bed that is clearly not right. I understand the doctor and school appointments he is the Dad like you said not I... but the other situations I explained clearly are things that would hurt anyone's feelings even yours unless your a man without an ego at all or let people walk over you without feeling dignity. god bless you sir and thank you for your wise opinion.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I would never ever in a million years touch that with even a 10 foot poll. I couldn't handle it. Know this- he will never go away, and people don't change, so expect this for the rest of your life or the rest of the relationship anyway. I'd rather be alone than be in that, but that's just me.

    • Yeah that's exactly how it seems like... and the part that bothers me is that he has more rights than me.. if I happen to be in her house and we are getting intimate or w/e and he calls her and tells her he is going to her house to see the kid or something.. she tells me "You have to go, he's on his way here" both times i was the one who had to leave and it makes a person feel like crap.

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    • Thank you for understand.. believe me sometimes i question myself if i have the right to get upset at situations like that but i guess i'm not alone and others share my point of view. :)

    • understanding*

What Guys Said 2

  • I really hate to say it cause I feel anyone should work through. but if she is so actively involved with him it will certainly always be on your mind. unless you want to man up and go have drinks with the guy too. I really hate to say it because I strongly believe in finding 'the one' and having a great relationship. I personally wouldn't stick around as hard as it may be. I don't want to be third in someone's life. if it was just her and the kid sure 2nd is expected. she may seem and say she is madly in love with you, but as the old quote says actions speak louder than words. I really feel for you man that is no an easy situation to be in. I wish you the best of luck please let me know how things turn out for you.

    • Thank you my brother and you are right and I have felt like a 3rd person... two times i was with her in her OWN place her decided to arrive because he felt like it and both times she asked me to "leave" because he was on his way and she didn't wanted us to "fight" according to her... still sucks tho always being there and being treated as a third person.

    • I feel for you bro. best of luck!

  • Just don't man. ask me , I had a situation like you except we both are young.
    Do you want proof?

    • Lol thanks bro, same deal happened to me with my previous girl i was dating... she was juggling 3 guys at once without me knowing. she allowed me to fall for her and cut me off like nothing..

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    • exactly.
      Did she come back afterwards?

    • Yeah she did and then she did it again... lol now it's been a year of no contact and I plan to keep it that way.

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