45 hours together...No exclusive conversation!?

I met a guy online. We have met on 5 separate occasions in the course of 2 weeks which have each lasted a super long time. In total, we have spent about 45 hours together. We haven't slept together. I found out from a credible source that he is dating 2 other women right now. (He doesn't know that I know and I'm not confronting him about the inside scoop).

My question is: After spending this long with someone, don't you know if you want to be exclusive with them? I know he's looking for a serious relationship but at this point- am I just on the back burner? Five dates (super long ones) and still no talk of exclusivity? He's still dating others?

It's a frustrating situation to me but I know if I bring it up he will either: a) agree to be exclusive which it doesn't sound like he's ready to do or b) break up

We're supposed to be going out tomorrow but I just feel like calling him tonight and saying "hey, weve spent a long time together and i feel like you are probably preoccupied with other women. So, I don't like to be the second choice/second best so I think it's best that we don't see each other. I don't want to wait until I get hurt, I just dont like this situation/feeling like this." I would prefer to do that tonight on the phone instead of on our date tomorrow because I think it has the potential to be a lot more awkward tomorrow.

I really like him and hate to do this, but I just feel kind of disrespected and would rather be the one to do this then the one who is eventually turned down in a couple of weeks.

What do you think? Am I on the back burner? He texts me like every other day, we've gotten together twice a week.


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  • You've only spent 45 hours together? That's not even 2 entire days and I get that the hours are spread out, but you can't know someone that well in in that short of time. Since you say you heard that he was dating 2 other women from a credible source then that means he's a player. I say dump him and find someone else before you get attached and he hurts you.

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