I dont know what did I do wrong here?

I met this guy, we communicated (every day) via text and phone calls for about a week or 2.

He asked me on a datel and I said yes. We hit it off and spent about 5 hours together that day.
It's really hard for me to stay interested in a guy but this guy just won me over...

We continued communicating every single day. We went on 2 more dates the next 2 weeks. 3rd date we had wine and went to his place. He kissed me. (The best I've ever had).

It was absolutely amazing. I just felt so deeply as we kissed. Then he said he loved me. He was embarrassed about it (so cute haha) but he said it again later. We weren't going to have sex and he knew that.

He isn't the most attractive guy but he just swept me off my feet. I didn't return the "I love you" because I thought it was just the moment. I did say "while we kissed, I felt like saying that, too."

The next day in the middle of our convo I said "im not really looking for a thing right now." (I got out of a 3 year relationship about 2 months prior to meeting him so i thought it would be fair to jump right into something new so soon).

He went COLD after that. I didn't nknow why until I asked what I did wrong.

He responded "if you're not looking towards a relationship, why should I treat you like a girlfriend."

It's been nearly 2 weeks and I haven't heard from him.

What did I do that was terrible because I'm not seeing it? Also, I'm not sure if there is something I'm miasing because I was so into him,


Most Helpful Guy

  • You didn't return his I love you? Why not? He came out of his shell, overcame his shyness, and his fear to tell you that he loved you- and you couldn't say it back to him? Even after you now say he swept you off of your feet?

    And you wonder why he's now saying he doesn't want to treat you like you are his girlfriend?

    • After 3 dates... I am not that impulsive. I want to know I love someone before I say it... Smh

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    • No, you're saying that because you know of my replies, and you hate the fact that I do not bow to the alter of feminism. There is absolutely nothing wrong with what I wrote. It is obvious what you did wrong, and even you know it, so why write a question? You skirt obvious questions into your personality with sarcasm, and you rail on my reply, which outlines, in my opinion, what you did wrong, fairly well, from a male perspective. (Which is why you came here) If you are so pissed off at my reply, why did you ask the question? You know what you did wrong. If you felt nothing for him, why have the emotion to ask this question at all? You care, and you want to know. I told you what you did wrong. But you don't want to hear it. Because you are always right/flawless/perfect/a woman (Who is therefor superior) and THAT is why I do not bow to the alter of feminism, and I never, ever will. Miss never wrong.

    • Wow. Where did this feminist talk come from? You are seriously confusing and all over the place. You have failed to make a solid point. You're clearly upset with women.
      I told the guy I didn't want to rush because that wouldn't be fair to HIM.
      I don't know what I did wrong because I was honest and that is what I would want. Maybe there is a part that I don't see so I asked for opinions! Someone disagreed with me but their answer was more coherent and mature than yours...

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like he's under the impression you were just playing with him, that he really liked you but you didn't feel the same, to be fair some of the things you said to him could easily lead to that impression, maybe now he's thinking he needs to move on so he's going cold shoulder on you and such. What did you do i wouldn't say it was so terrible but it may have given him false impressions. I hope that helps.

    • Thanks for your answer. I don't understand how he would think that way if I initiated plans afterwards... I even said "while kissing you, I felt like saying that, too." I even said it wouldn't be fair to him if we dated officially so soon because it wouldn't be fair to him. I now think he's just weird lol

    • ok let me try to be more helpful, when i first read the part where you said i felt like saying that too it crossed my mind that you were thinking he said i love you in the heat of the moment not because he actually felt that way, saying you like him but your not ready for a relationship could seem to him like your not serious about him even though you guys have kissed before, him saying i love you and you not returning it could seem to him as if you guys are in different places with where you want this to go and that was reinforced when you brought up the thing about how your not ready for anything serious, sorry for some reason i just want it to be resolved and of their to be a happy ending

    • Well thanks for trying to help. I can see how he may be hurt. Thanks for your help.

  • he got scared and fucked up :(


What Girls Said 1

  • Massive red flag if a guy tells you he loves you on the 3rd/4th or even 10th date. Guys who throw these words around easily don't usually mean them. Also seems like this guy had some control issues and probably used these words to tie you down as a girlfriend. When you did not oblige and pretty much told him you want to take things slow he bolted. A guy who really loves you does not disappear that easily...

    • Thanks you for your answer! I guess I needed to hear that.

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    • You could have fun with it! Just text him 'I made a mistake, I only realised it now. I really love you too, you are the love of my life! Let's get married and have babies. How many were you thinking? I want at least 4 - 2 boys and 2 girls.' LOL

    • Lmao oh my gosh. That would be so mean! I couldn't do it! Hahaha