Should i send him his text or just wait?

I met a guy online, we emailed for 2 months, texted for 3 months and then met about 2 months ago. He's made me dinner a few times, had me stay over like 4-5 days in a row etc but I'm not sure how he feels about me. He said he wasn't just looking for a piece of ass but wouldn't turn it down. He also told me before we met I was very cute. We've had sex a few times and it's so good but weve never gone out on an actual date and so I kinda consider us friends with benefits But I'm starting to like him more not like ready for a relationship more just the little things. I like hearing him talk about his plants, snakes and things he's interested in, I like watching him cook. I want to send him a text that says " I don't want to put any pressure on us or make things awkward, I consider us to be friends with benefits at the moment. When we first started talking you said you weren't looking for a piece of ass but wouldn't turn it down, I'm just wondering how you feel about things and if you'd want a relationship in the future with me." I don't want to rush things cause I'm no where close to ready but if he doesn't want a relationship with me later on I don't want to develop these feelings for him and I'll make them stop. Should I send the text or just be patient and let things play out how they will. I kinda feel like he likes me some because he keeps inviting me over, like I've never asked to come over so it's always him but I'm still unsure if he wants a relationship with me or just a friends with benefits type thing and nothing more.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I found out, no matter if it's Online Or Off, that many of today's toms are sporadic, unpredictable, and yes----non committal, as well. And if they are not ready, Nor Sure about getting into a Real Relationship, they "indirectly" let you know. I see the signs here.
    However, by taking things slow with joe, it seems he may be coming around to be More than "friends with benefits," which could mean a potential partnership down the road.
    No, don't say anything, let things go for now. If he feels pressured, pushed or even pinned down, he may "disappear," and there goes, not only "watching him cook," but everything else you have been hearing about him to make you start to like him. Play it cool for now.
    The more he "invites you over," and spends time with you, the more he will get to know you, and perhaps Want more than a-------dinner companion in the future.
    However, there is no guarantee in life but death and taxes, and I can't promise that this "comfort at home" deal may or may not grow cozier, but I do believe that if you play your cards right with him, and be More of a challenge, you will have him eating out of your hand, and perhaps you both Could become two birds of a feather. Guys like a chase, and the apple at the top of the tree is always the juiciest, as you know.
    Feel it out for now. See how things progress. I Do realize the More that you are with him, you just can't turn your feelings off like a lite switch. But that's the chance you take when you meet someone who isn't prepared to build a nest, and of course it's your choice in the future if you would want to sit and be patient or----fly south and find someone with a more "serious sweet pot."
    Good luck.xx

    • I like your advice, and definitely see your point. And if this were like a month into things I'd probably 100% agree but after 7 months with no clear definitions of the relationship don't you think it's time to make some?

    • Being they have met only in the last TWO months, and have Only spent a little time together, it is too soon to really know if there is a true spark. He is inviting her Now More over, getting to know her, and it may take a little more time to nourish this...If they would continue seeing one another non stop from thence on, and through this summer, etc..then yes, perhaps then the issue should be addressed to him for her feelings. But they are slowly starting to get to know one another, and he is slowly warming up.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • so you've known the guy for about 7months or more?

    Honestly I don't think there is any way you can "rush" things. at this point you need to tell him exactly how you feel and what you want. To me it sounds like you want more than just friend's with benefits I think you may need to mention that.

    even simply saying, 'I like you as more than just a friend and do want a relationship but don't want to press you for something you are not ready for'... would be ok. but you have to start thinking about where this will go. most guys I know don't hook up with someone for months if they actually want more out of the relationship

    • Do you think it's ok to try and do more things with him then and spend more time with him. Before we met he was on a third shift sleeping time and said he changed his sleeping times so he could see me because I work first shift and all this stuff and I know he wants a relationship I'm just not sure how he feels with me. The few times I was there with him all day we had a good time and laughed and talked and watched movies I'm just confused I guess.

    • Show All
    • I hear ya. I don't think you need to push for anything if you are comfortable with where things are, but I definitely think sort of asking about where his head is at is fine

    • I wanted to send it so bad but had a feeling that I shouldn't and now I'm glad I didn't. I now know right now he's not looking for a commitment as neither am I right now. Seeing as we've both been hurt and haven't been in relationships since I know it will just take time and things are going so good now I'm fine with how they are. Wish I could spend more time with him cause nothing else matters when I'm with him, all the stresses from the day and from my family all go away and be seems to like talking to me and I listen to him and am there for him now and that's what I have to offer is a friendship and to listen to him and having amazing sex is just a bonus

  • Guys don't like to talk about those things you gals do, nor ponder over them in such depth. Asking him anything like this is disturbing, confusing and too IQ for a guy. Text him things that he likes to talk about, just to keep the comm lines open

    • I get that because I only really hang out with guys but I don't know how he feels about me and I'm getting feelings for him and I don't want to get hurt again. How can I ask him how he feels without putting pressure on things.

    • Assume you will get hurt until one of you confesses love and the other agrees in like kind; opening the oven before the souffle is done insure it will fall

  • Send it, it's worth it


What Girls Said 2

  • I say don't cheapen yourself or compromise your standards. What do YOU want? friends with benefits , more? This is a 2 way street, let me please you too, if not, move on and get a nicer man who will respect your needs, too.

  • Say it in PERSON so that you see his immediate reaction. You've let him put his thing inside you, so asking him this should be a piece of cake.
    If he doesn't want anything more then move on.