She's moving aboard. Why does love hurt so much, and how do you ever get over it?

-I've never had a girlfriend, and never asked a girl out before (had found that thought terrifying), and never been in a situation where I've remotely had a chance with a girl.

-Haven't actively been looking for a relationship. Wasn't too bothered about having one, but was open to one if it was right.

-Met girl from France in November (she's on a gap year). Gradually got to know each other better, and in February I built up the courage to ask her out in person. She said yes.

-Got a bit complicated as she took a while to respond to my text confirming date, asked if other friends could come, etc. I said I wanted to spend time with just her. Eventually we went on a date.

-Tried to arrange second date, but she was always busy but kept saying 'we should do something'.
I think she has been hesitant to date as she wasn't sure if she was staying or leaving and wanted to clear that up first.

-In this time, we've still been texting and stuff and getting closer and closer in our social circle.
Eventually we went out again, just us, a week or so ago.

-Found out yesterday that she's 100% leaving, and returning to France in mid June. She's not decided yet, but will likely be starting a 3 year uni course in September.

When people say love hurts, I've never really understood what that involves. But I do now, and it's horrible. I've never been so close to someone before. I've never clicked like this. I've never felt like this.
It's not the case that my feelings are one sided and that I never stood a chance- we really, really get on and like each other. I do know how you can get over someone who is so right for you.
Why did I have to fall in love with the foreign girl?

I should note: Getting into an LDR wasn't a problem for me, I knew it could be a possibility. However with about 7 weeks left there isn't enough time for the relationship to become anything substantial before she leaves.
Anyone else please? :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • OH YES. Love hurts. You feel like your heart aching, your bones hurting and your eyes crying without a reason. When someone you love (or deeply attracted to) departs, it actually hurts both physically and emotionally. I had a friend tell me that when his first love left him. He asked me "Have you ever felt physical pain due to love?" I answered yes. So, what you're experiencing is normal. Forgive yourself. :)

    As to why you loved her? We don't choose whom we love. It just..happens. You got along very well with her. She made you FEEL so great about yourself and life was a lot more colorful in her presence. You felt that she was real and the love you had for her was even far more real. We built a mental and emotional connection with her. Deep inside, you refused to believe that she was leaving. You ditched that thought and decided to enjoy the moments, the happy times and whatnot. I don't blame you nor should you blame yourself. Our hearts love whenever and whomever. You either ignore that feeling or you act upon it. You chose the latter which is good.

    Never regret anything for that you learn a lot from life experiences. Too bad she left but that doesn't mean you won't love again. In fact, a much deeper love is waiting for you some time somewhere soon enough. Just open your heart for that only open hearts receive love. :) It will take time to forget about which you may never do. You will eventually get over it. There's some girl out there waiting for you to show up so don't let her wait for too long.

    That's life. :) Just hang in there and everything will be alright. :)

    • Thanks for that.
      That girl may be out there, but right now she feels like the girl. In fact, barring circumstances- I know she is the one.

    • Show All
    • Suppose it is!

    • Thanks for MH. :)

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What Girls Said 1

  • You will meet someone else. Don't worry.

    • It's easy to say, but she's the first person I've met, and I'm 23. I'm still not that interested in relationships, but I was for her.
      I have never had a connection, and been this close to someone before. She's everything I would want in a girl.
      I was so hoping she was going to stay.

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