FINALLY! The Husband Shopping Center is here!!

[laurieluvsit]

OK, so a girlfriend told me about this new Husband Shopping Center.

She knew about the awful experience that I had when I was 20 and how picky I am and said this would fix everything for me by allowing me to get the real husband of my dreams this time.

At this Husband Shopping Center she said I could choose among many many guys to get the exact guy that I wanted.

It was laid out on five floors with guys of more and more increasingly positive attributes with each floor you got to.

The only rule was that, once you opened the door to that floor and perused the guys there, you couldn't go back down, you had to pick your guy from that floor without going up any further. You could only go back down to leave and never return again.

So I, and a couple of girlfriends, went to the Shopping Center to check it out and see if there really was the perfect prospective husband there. Remember there are five floors.

FIRST FLOOR

The sign on the door said, 'These guys have jobs and love kids"

Wow, OK,, that's nice, I mean that beats not having a job and not loving kids ...right?

But they said that with each floor the guys have even more positive attributes, so why not take the risk and check it out?

SECOND FLOOR

The sign on this floor said, "These guys have high-paying jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking!"

OK, now my girlfriends, and I, are looking at each other like ...have we hit the jack-pot here, or what?

I mean how could it get any better than this? ...but then we thought Hmmm, if it keeps getting better, what do we have to lose? ...so we decided again to give it a go and check out the next level!

THIRD FLOOR

The sign said "These guys have high-paying jobs, are extremely good-looking, love kids AND help with the housework!"

Now we just stared at each other with our mouths opened! ...like OMFG!

...but wait! ...it's like as we go up each level we are just getting closer to nirvana! ...so up we go again as excited as school kids on their way to Disneyland!

FOURTH FLOOR

The sign says, "These guys have high-paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good-looking, help with the housework AND have a really strong romantic streak!"

OK, that does it! SOMEONE PICK ME UP OFF THE FLOOR PLEASE! ...YES, I have entered the gates to heaven!

...but WAIT! Just think about it. What on earth can the final floor be like? Well, there was no cat on the planet that could match our curiosity at this point ...so up we go!

FIFTH FLOOR

The sign says, "This floor is just to prove that ...WOMEN ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE!"

Now there we are, empty handed with heads down ...you know, we didn't need to go to a Husband Shopping Center to figure that one out! ...lol

[ChgzDaniel]

Great story with an excellent moral. Reminds me of the tale of the dog with a bone, looking at his reflection in the river. He thinks he is looking at another dog with a big juicy bone too. The dog opens his mouth to grab the second bone, only to lose the one he had.

[laurieluvsit]

Thank you!

Yes, great analogy of the greed that we sometimes have!

[TadCurious]

Laurie your series of humor posts are priceless! Thanks for making me lolololol. 😂🤣

[laurieluvsit]

Thank you, I am so glad that you are enjoying them!

I am having the most fun with these.

There will be more coming... lol

[TadCurious]

Thank you Laurie for MHO!

[laurieluvsit]

You're welcome, thank you for a great opinion :)

[kymberz]

bahahahahah! i would like to say that i would have made it to the 4th floor but you pretty much had me at the first floor - cuz i'm pretty sure if he has a job and loves kids everything else will be a cake walk, no? or maybe i'm really not as picky as i get accused of being. i love your writing style tho - things like "OK, that does it! SOMEONE PICK ME UP OFF THE FLOOR PLEASE! ... YES, I have entered the gates to heaven!" set me into fits of giggling because like - i am right there with you and know exactly what you mean! (oh and to be really honest - as soon as i couldn't find a floor called "Get Your Rob Thomas right here!" i figured i'd be settling regardless right? oh bahahahahaha!) Love this post!

[laurieluvsit]

Thank you!

... now I know the sure cure on how to pick myself up from depression... just submit a good post for you to review! ... lol

[kymberz]

i'll read them all for you! and we can laugh and laugh together!

[BeRealU]

This is great! When I started dating in college I definitely fell victim to FOMO.. if only I knew then to appreciate what people I already had in my life.. wow. In a consumer society it’s almost inevitable though.

[laurieluvsit]

Thank you.

We learn as we live my grandmother would always say :)

[Flower7]

I would have stopped at the 2nd floor. Those guys sounded really good. I would have loved to choose from them. I wish a place like this really existed. That seems like a lot of fun to go to.

[laurieluvsit]

I know, huh? ... lol

[Lliam]

Funny joke.
But honestly, if it said that guy's attributes became increasingly positive with each floor you got to, who wouldn't be curious about what's on the 5th floor? They lied. It was a trap.

[dmgstarfleet]

No man can live up to the laundry list of feminine expectations. You have to be able to mind read and know exactly what they want even if they do not know themselves.

[ZackBan]

This myTake summerises today's society pretty well.
Women get the pick and chose and so they remain single waiting to chose the best and always wanting better.

[FictionalCharacter]

AHAHA

I was already satisfied with the first floor. The other qualities will build up in time.

[Ceasar97]

lol, that was a funny end. If only humans were that simple and easy; although, I am glad they're not.

[Jjpayne]

Lol! Thank you for this :) we are all imperfect even though we want perfection, we don't realize that we are imperfect too

[Finchie40]

LOL no matter what floor the girl picks it’s still going to be impossible for the man to please her lol

[Deku2009]

Would love a wife store that is very similar to this

[laurieluvsit]

Just don't go to the top! ... lol

[Deku2009]

Will do lol

[holidaze]

Correct! In the case of women, always go down! (See what I did there?) 😂😜

[laurieluvsit]

@holidaze Yes, you have a dirty mind :)

[Deku2009]

You always gotta go down. !

[hansukota]

There are a lot of "wife stores" on the dark web. Just saying 😂😂

[Hermes-Paris]

I guess that's why we end up in the basement bargain bin.

[lucas262]

How man just tried to out rin each other to the top floor?

I gag thinking of a place like this.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

I love your humor Girls with humor are very rare indeed
Lol..

[Juxtapose]

I've heard this before. It's in human nature to be greedy to be fair.

I'd stop at the first floor if the women looked good and had good personalities.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Hee! Hee! :D Good one Laurie!

[laurieluvsit]

Thank you!

I thought you might like it... lol

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Yes, I did!

[Plitty-Tank]

Awesome. I bet plenty of women would love to show with their husbands too.

[rockrewls]

So in judging this far fetched scenario, it's okay to have a wife/prostitute shopping center where men can purchase a woman based on superficial and overtly sexual qualities as well?

[anabella-fione]

Haha good one. You learned to not be picky. Nobody is perfect.

[OfDeath]

So none of them have cars? There is always a catch.