Learn from my unfortunate employment experience. If you experience any of these red flags, RUN!

loves2learn m
Job frustration
Job frustration

Oh, where do I start? My former employer is led by narcissistic, incompetent, back-stabbing, lying, power hungry mean girls. It was the worst year of my life, pure hell. And it’s a remote agency; I’ve never even met any of them in person. God, I hope I never do.

It seemed like a good gig at first. Allowed my husband to accept his third dream job as an engineering professor (he’s an engineer by day, works on cars nights and weekends and somehow finds time to teach an afternoon university class 2 nights per week). He almost didn’t accept his dream job because he has always been the afternoon parent, working the earlier shift while I work the later shift. Remote work allows me schedule flexibility and parenting flexibility. I was also incredibly thankful for it when Covid-19 hit, my kids’ schools closed without warning and my husband’s office didn’t send him to work from home for 3 weeks.

That’s where the good ends. When Covid-19 hit, my employer made no attempt to accommodate the new predicament we were all in. I had lost my childcare due to no fault of my own and there were literally zero other childcare options for “non-essential” workers in my area. For some reason employers seem to think it’s possible for their employees to work from home, parent and facilitate distance learning all at the same time.

During this time my 8 year old found a grill lighter he knew he wasn’t supposed to touch left unattended by my husband. Let’s just say 8 year old + grill lighter + paper towels + garage garbage bin = almost disaster. During this time my 4 year old was hit with a stick, in the eye ball by a neighbor boy and I had to rush him to the ER. Also during this time my 4 year old managed to chew on an ice pack and drink the entire contents, hello poison control! Not only were we all scared for our health, I was scared for my children’s safety and there were zero provisions made to help me parent through this unprecedented time. Then, during the most difficult year of everyone in the world’s life, my former employer made my already difficult life a living hell.

Managers would invent drama and tattle it to the president and have the president reprimand me. Then I would go to the co-worker I had supposedly slighted; only to find out they had no idea what I was talking about. Managers would ask me to do something and reprimand me for doing it. Managers would tell me not to do something, and then reprimand me for not doing it. Managers would claim they asked me to do something they’d never asked me to do, then reprimand me for not doing this mystery task. Managers would give me a stern, raised voice talking-to about the way I talk to others. Managers would reprimand me for minor client requests, edits or questions relating to content I had written for them, as if mind-reading were a job requirement.

Managers would micromanage more than you could ever imagine possible, from the other side of the country. Because, remember, we all worked remotely. They would request the details of my outlook calendar, then go through it with a fine-toothed comb and confront me about activities I had been asked to do. They would go through every line of my detailed timesheet then condescend me about the amount of time I spent on tasks. Though later I would go in to my timesheet and find the time and the activity in question didn’t match up. It was an utter mind-fuck, gaslighting to the nth degree.

Managers switched me to a new position, provided me with a vague verbal description, and reprimanded me for not knowing my job duties. When I asked clarifying questions about my new job they accused me of insubordination, questioning authority and get this, somehow refusal to do my job??? For the record, I never refused to do anything. Was just genuinely confused about this mystery job I was blindly thrust into.

Malicious intent was put behind nearly everything I said, no matter how innocent the comment or question was. I would be told *I* need to be very careful how I say things, but no one addressed the bat-shit crazy managers from hell who constantly take things the wrong way.

At this point this it’s no surprise my generalized anxiety disorder caused me to have multiple terrible and scary panic attacks, making it even more difficult for me to do my already impossible job in the middle of a pandemic.

After all this shit I put up with, what did they do? They fired me. Did they give me a reason? Nope. I had literally no clue. To be honest, it was both reliving and distressing to be fired. On one hand I no longer had to endure their daily abuse. On the other hand, I was out a paycheck. Yikes!

I hope you never have to experience that special kind of hell. It's given me new perspective. I love my new job and manager. She's the most kind, positive and caring person I've ever worked for. And my current position didn't exist before Covid, so if I hadn't gone through the above, I wouldn't be working here. All that to say, you spend too much time at work to be unhappy. Don't settle for shit employment. There are better options out there.

Learn from my unfortunate employment experience. If you experience any of these red flags, RUN!
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Mangospacho
    Wow. All I can say is it’s good that you’re no longer working there and they did fire you so you can collect unemployment that they are ultimately paying for - they were absolutely hoping you would quit on your own. I’ve had two jobs similar to this years ago and the advantage you have now is that you know you don’t have to take abuse like that because there are employers out there who won’t abuse you because **gasp** abused employees don’t generate nearly as much productivity as employees who are not stressed out over the slightest insignificant detail. You have the advantage that you know you don’t ever have to take abuse from an employer. I’m glad you’re at a much better job working for a much better company.
    Is this still revelant?
    • My next mytake will be my unemployment nightmare. They contested my unemployment and I somehow lost my hearing because I got the one judge that sides with employers.

    • Then it is really good you got a new job that’s better. Basically, that last job have horrible people working in every department there. These are the people, if they had enough power, would be violent tyrannical dictators.

    • Mmhmm. Yes they would. Scary to think about. Sociopath behavior really.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • PaynefulPleasures
    One of the strongest ladies, I'm glad you're doing better. Stay strong my friend you're a true inspiration 🌹✌️
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

1236
  • CrazyGirl2
    OMG! What a nightmare! I certainly hope that I never have to go through anything like that in my life, although as I’ll be beginning my clinical psychology career with a PhD, I’m hoping that I manage to avoid any and all intra-office drama, but there are never guarantees when it comes to life! All I can hope, is that after they relieved you of that nightmare position, you qualified for the extra Federal, as well as the standard state unemployment benefits! Nobody should ever have to put up with the kind of abuse you described! I am SO sorry that happened to you. What you described is one of the main reasons that I plan on waiting until about thirty before I have my first child. But only so I can be well established in my carrier, enough that I (hope) I don’t have to deal with the kind of crap you described! I truly wish you the very best of luck going forward, and hope your future is far brighter than your past experiences! Just know you are love and appreciated not just by your kids (who don’t always show it) but by your friends here on GAG! 😘💋🥰
    • Thanks hun. My next mytake is my unemployment nightmare. 😔😭

    • CrazyGirl2

      Well ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ For the My Take, but I am sorry to hear about it, and your obvious difficulty with unemployment!

    • @CrazyGirl2 day in the life my friend. We all have our unique challenges.

    • Show All
  • Anpu23
    I run a pretty big team, and this is the kind of thing that just upsets me. What's going on is they are hiding their own incompetence by using you as a scape goat. "No we just have this new employee who..." and they are trying to cover their own a$$ by making you look bad. Whoever they report to is being lied to, because they simply have no idea how to do their own job.

    When I taught my business class I would give the following example:

    ________________________
    OOOO
    _______________________
    HHHH WWWW
    _______________________

    what the above represents is a shelf in a warehouse the "O"s are white round boxes
    The "H"'s are square black boxes and the "W"s are white square boxes. Okay the boss is with a customer
    "Hay, do we have any black boxes back there?"
    Employee looks up and sees the black square boxes and replies "yes"
    "do we have any round boxes"
    again employee looks up and sees the white round boxes and replies "yes"
    "bring me one"
    what has that employer asked for? It is a black round box... and he has asked for one in his head. But the employee, not being a mind reader figure the last thing that he asked for was a round box... and brings him a round white box.
    "No want a black one" shaking his head in exasperation
    employee takes the round white box back and grabs the black square box brings it back... "No! I want a round one!!!" and around and around it goes both getting more and more frustrated. No clear instruction, and assumed understanding. Sound familiar? Meanwhile the employer is all "I swear this new employee..." to the waiting customer. What do you think would happen if the employee asked "I'm confused do you want a round one or a black one?" maybe something like "Yes bring me one..." because again the employer is hearing the words black and round... which doesn't answer the question at all and just adds to the confusion. This was the result of poor management and is NOT YOUR FAULT!
    • Mmhmm. I think they were threatened by me tbh. They promoted the wronggg people and fired the good ones.

    • Anpu23

      That works as well. Incompetence is juat that.

    • Indeed. Good managers recognize that hiring smart people only benefits the department and the company.

    • Show All
  • kidvid80
    thats horrible!!! sounds like the same sh*t that goes on at the superstore here ah hem rhymes with balfart, lol.
    a lot of good employees are not treated well and basically its like you are on a line like when the make beef just waiting for slaughter. they claim unity but basically its they have their favorites and thats it. but sounds like you went from a very toxic place to a great one, maybe the fates had a plan for you girl!
    • Yup. Toxic workplaces exist every where. I feel lucky I got out and did better.

      I hope you can find something better too.

    • kidvid80

      congrats to you!
      me im a caregiver-- i have friends that work there the favoritism and unfair treatment is off the charts, i like to go check on them

    • So sad. Glad you have their backs.

  • exitseven
  • Screenwriter
    Well, I hope you'll no longer stay on such a painful course for so long. If you're EVER in a similar situation, keep the job for the paycheck while you interview for something better. Never wait to be fired or keep a job that's causing you such pain.

    Currently the job market is wide open and workers are needed everywhere. There are always messed up workplaces. The point is to recognize them and get out from under them as quickly as possible. Good luck in your better workplace!
    • @Screenwriter thank you! I had been looking for alternate employment for a month and I 100% agree don’t wait to be fired. But I had not received any formal warnings or been put on a performance improvement plan. I was blindsided.

    • Nope. You were ignoring the signals that you were in the wrong place. Firings happen because a person is a bad fit for whatever reason. You had warnings in how they mistreated you. Workplaces don't keep people who don't fit in. Some people thrive in dysfunctional workplaces because THEY are dysfunctional. Don't ignore similar red flags in the future. Good luck in everything.

    • Mmkay. I was not “ignoring” the signals. Yes. Perhaps I missed them. My dad later told me he spotted them in hind sight. But true, I’m not a narcissistic, back-stabbing, mean girl, bitch; so I didn’t fit in. 😒

    • Show All
  • Jazquee
    Holly shit where 8n the hell did you work? HELL? I wish I could relate byni love my job and team. It took 38 years to find the perfect job setting. I ha e been through shit jobs as well. But nothing in comparison to all that. I guess you have to wade through the shit to find the gold.
  • GoodGuyBreakingBad
    Thank you for sharing your MyTake with us, I'm glad you were able to put this horrible job behind you and move on with life, It's terrible when one needs to walk on eggshells when they work whether it's online or in person , I wish you best wishes on your new job least you have a new beginning :) :)
  • Dchrls78104
    Talk about victimisation at work! I went through something similar in my first job. Mercifully or cruelly, fortunately and unfortunately, that horror of a job experience lasted two years and two months until they gave me 3 months salary and asked me to leave. My next (and present) job has paid at least 3 times better and has lasted almost 20 years.
    • It was so bad. I’m glad you found a better job. When terrible employers fire you it truly is for the better.

  • PeacefulRainDrop
    I am sorry your children deserve better! That job won't be able to replace you! They need to understand life happens things are out of your control..
  • Woodsy05
    I think some employers looked for ways to “ thin the herd”. I am self employed, and my wife works from home, so we juggled the remote learning. I hope your new situation is much improved!
    • Woodsy05

      Thanks for the good reminder to keep working for myself 👍

    • Hubs and I love remote work. Lunch hour sex break!

  • Wiredone
    Holy hell. I'm really sorry you had to go through all that. I hope your kids are alright. At least you have a better job now and hopefully you aren't stressed out anymore
    • Thanks. Yes. It was a really terrible experience. The kids are still tearing around my house destroying it like feral children. 🤣

      I think my anxiety disorder is a life long battle. But I’m happy to say at this moment, it is in check.

    • Wiredone

      I think you are on a good path. I hope you have less anxiety issues from now on. A job that you enjoy does help with that.

    • Thank you. Work is a trigger. I’m happy to work for good people who understand. Everyone in my department has generalized anxiety disorder. 3 peas in a pod!

    • Show All
  • MTC29
    "Managers switched me to a new position, provided me with a vague verbal description, and reprimanded me for not knowing my job duties."

    After completing grad school, this is one of the (many reasons) I wanted a government job: All duties are spelled out in black and white and with no deviation from the job description and duties possible.

    I'm sorry you were fired unjustly. In my situation, which we discussed, I would have had the right to a civil service hearing- in which I think I would have ultimately prevailed. Regardless, I'm glad things turned out okay.
    • Thank you. Up next I’ll post about my unemployment nightmare. 😐

  • Lliam
    Wow, my friend. That truly IS nightmarish! I'm sorry you had to go through that.
    • Thanks. It was the stuff of nightmares. Job searching after that horrendous experience was really scary.

  • Andres77
    Blessings in disguise.
    I'm glad you got through it.
    By the way, what did the ice pack fluid taste like? Asking for a friend...🙄
    • According to my youngest: “water. It was yummy.” 🤣

    • Andres77

      I'm assuming he's ok.
      Hopefully you can relax a bit and maybe have some time for sex.

    • He ended up being OK. It was a 10 year old ice pack i got with an old breast pump. 🤣 Who even knows what was in it. But he seems fine. Emily at poison control even had to consult he supervisor because kids usually don’t down that large a volume of mystery liquid. 🤣

  • InventorofWarp
    Damn.
    I've totally had nightmare employers like this too though.
    • It had been a while for me. This was by far the worst, but the second worst was in my early 20s. He waited until my 1 year review to tell me all the things I did that he didn’t like on my first day. Plus he was an asshole and always talking derogatory about his wife and kids.

      I legit thought he hated me. When I gave him my letter of resignation he said I would be hard to replace. I was shocked. That was the first nice thing he had ever said to me.

  • Brainsbeforebeauty
    Unfortunately, some people aren't meant to be in management positions, because they let that "sense of power" go to their ego.. Glad you're no longer dealing with that and found a better employer💛🙏
  • worldscolide
    What you describe is exactly why I will never work for a female boss.. I've been in your situation.. Never again.
    • My current female boss is amazing. The other lady was the spawn of satan. 🙅🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

  • Oram52
    Did managers just single you out or others face the same problem? Did other colleagues not tell the president what's going on? Anyone in upper management? Surely they could've seen its not adding up, and its common sense it will end up costing them some way.

    Its awful what you had to go through, they certainty took advantage of your desperation and desperate times we're going through. Did any of your colleagues came to your aid or everyone just kept their head down? Its awful position to be in, hope you doing better now.
    • They singled me out and my co-workers jumped on the hating bandwagon.

    • Oram52

      That is shit. Well I guess that's how you find out who your friends are, even if its worst way to find out. i guarantee you someone else got singled out and it was their turn.

      Can you think of any reason why Managers might target you?

    • I think they were threatened by me. They are the types that want lemmings to work for them. Not those that think outside the box.

  • crazyish
    Holy bullshit. I can't even imagine the worry and stress you felt from having to focus on work while your kids were around. Talk about constant alertness. Your mind must've taken a beating with that alone and then the added toxicity of your managers. What A holes. That would be some major anxiety you had to go through on a daily basis.

    The fact that you held it all together and stuck it out is amazing. Eff them, it was definitely for the best getting fired. You did you and didn't quit. They are missing out on someone who went through hell for them. I'm very glad that you have a way better boss. Nothing in life is worth what you went through. You have true strength and determination. You should be extremely proud of yourself hun.
  • RealMarek
    Is it just me or has corporate culture declined in the past 5-10 years?
  • whatsthereinname
    Which job are you narrating about

    Did you change one recently?
    • The one I was fired from in October. The one I’ve had since January is great.

  • msc545
    There is always a place for batshit crazy sadists to work. I'm sorry you accidentally wound up in one of them.
    • Yup. Thanks. I’m glad they have each other. 😒

  • jerdanro
    I've worked for so many shitty bosses and companies. I love where I am now.
    • @jerdanro after that shit experience my bar for bosses was so low. I was just looking for someone who wouldn’t harm me. Honest truth. I’m so lucky to have found a truly good manager. They are rare.

    • jerdanro

      I'm glad you did. I stand up for the people who work for me, assuming they are trustworthy and doing their best.

    • That is how I operate. I trust people until proven otherwise. I believe in building people up. There is so much to be said for a positive work environment.

    • Show All
  • dray995
    Where did you work before and what did you do?

    Where you work now and what do you do?
    • I worked part time in administration for an engineering company. No I’m an event coordinator.

  • Born-for-sex
    Geeseum! That is absolutely Insane!! I’m glad you lost your job for sure though? Lol!! I had all essential jobs delivering mail through covid so I didn’t have the crazy board crapless people to deal with.
    • joeblow123

      @hearvoices

      I viewed Michael Douglas as a hero in that movie. A man who wouldn't take any more shit from society so he fought back. Robert Duvall was a pussy cop in that movie. It would have been better if Michael Douglas had taken out Robert Duvall.

  • hearvoices
    Well that all sounds like a bloody nightmare. Props for not going postal like Michael Douglas in Falling Down or something. Glad you found a measure of peace.
  • OlderAndWiser
    And you now know that you are a world class survivor!
  • Still-alive
    All i gotta say is fuck managers lol. I know you have a good one now but the good ones seem to be super rare. Especially in retail. Yeah i like working the gig economy for this reason, i dont have to deal with dumbass managers getting in your way.

    Im glad you got out of there. Sounded toxic af
  • Ez-Bri-Z
    Oof that would have had to suck but I'm so glad you were able to come out better for it.
  • Tstrbrainer
    This was very informative, I'm surprised that you didn't resign sooner
    • I have a family to provide for

    • Yeah, but the stress was too much.
      I think your cost of living is quite high in your city

    • I agree about the stress and yes, cost of living is high. The responsible thing to do is find a new job before you quit your bad one. And I had been looking.

    • Show All
  • james_d0007
    I am sorry you had to go through this, I am glad though you have found a good job.
    You have a strong personality hence you were able to withstand all this circumstances.
  • Guffrus
    My working life is very similar to this and unfortunately for me there is no escape as I am self employed ;)
  • Rudon00
    I emphasize Run!! Loves2learn. I had some of that experience happen to me.

    Oh it was he'll I tell ya.
  • Tiptoetamm
    Wow yeah that's so not okay, better off without that job
  • COMMODOREII
    Sounds like any job i ever worked at lol welcome to the club.
  • FoxnEagle
    "Let’s just say 8 year old + grill lighter + paper towels + garage garbage bin = almost disaster. During this time my 4 year old was hit with a stick, in the eye ball by a neighbor boy and I had to rush him to the ER. Also during this time my 4 year old managed to chew on an ice pack and drink the entire contents, hello poison control!"

    Bwuahahahahaha, gotta love kids...
    I would like to believe we (mainly guys) all have these stories, but sometimes people don't want to admit to them :P

    And hey, at least your kid was smart enough to put it in a garbage bin instead of burning his carpet!
  • Jamie05rhs
    I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm glad it's over now!
  • ChrisMaster69
    @loves2learn hugs mum
    • Thanks hun. Had to get that off my chest. Whew.

  • pink_and_inlove
    I’m sorry that this happened to you :(
  • poneglyphs
    Omg, that's sounds so bogusand unfair to you?
  • Shihab91
    Good take sadly sometimes you are forced to stay until you find another job.
  • Pogi-Paddy-2
    Wow that SUCKS!
  • jimmy2
    Omg your boss only cares about herself
    • Yup. She was a real piece of work narcissist.

  • Gwenhwyfar
    That’s awful
  • lycanthrope3
    Damn
  • newfreshstart
    can i pm you for advice
  • Anonymous
    Truth be told if you work like you whine on GaG it's no wonder you didn't hold the job. I mean as parents... irresponsibility put both kids in danger.

    Really get a burger flipping job it's likely more in your league.
    • Wow. That was really mean. Thanks for sharing.

    • Telling someone off on a random forum also sounds like such an important job for you anon girl. just hide behind your mask like a coward.

  • Anonymous
    Wow you sound like a whinny little bitch. Deal with it. Do your job.Learn from my unfortunate employment experience. If you experience any of these red flags, RUN!
    • joeblow123

      If you want to work for Santa you have to be his personal ho ho ho.

    • Wow rude blue anon you sound like a judgy asshole

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