Should I start my life over? Is it too late? Would this be best for me? What should I do?

Should I start my life over? Is it too late? Would this be best for me? What should I do?
I just turned 21 today, and my life so far has been a total flop

I wasn't brought up in adulthood the right was, bullied, ostracized, ignored, rejected, no friends, no real role model to look up to, don't know who my real biological father is, overbearing mother, drunk first step dad, teenage parent drug users for siblings and the public school systems failed me. I was taught to be a follower not a leader, to take orders and not independence, raised without discipline, nobody gave me a chance, never let me find out who I was, never cared about me, only cared about what I'll do for their selfish needs.

I started experiencing symptoms of Schizophrenia and Depression when I was 14, not really knowing it at the time. I was having delusions and hallucinations, thoughts of suicide, I just had a total withdraw. I started failing all my classes, my mother and the school system were on my ass to the point of harassment, they saw me as more of a grade than a person. I tried to tell my mom about my suicidal thoughts when I was 16 but she threatened to have me locked up in a mental institution, so I stayed quiet about it all these years, out of fear. All these years I wore a mask, I tell everyone I'm doing fine, but really I lock myself in my room and suffer in silence.

Soon after my 16th birthday my Grandmother died. My mental health took a nose dive which caused me to quit school. I went out looking for a job, but after thousands of applications and some interviews, no luck. When I was 19 I thought I was hopeless, so I swallowed a box of Advil, woke up the next morning and didn't know whether it was a blessing or a curse. So I basically gave up.

So now I'm here, 21 years old, living at my parents, currently unemployed, living off an allowance and plasma donations, no driver's licence yet.

5 mo
My mental health has gotten so bad that I don't trust myself to work a regular job or live on my own.

People assume that I live the easy life, not working and getting money from my mom, but I don’t see it as easy. I hate myself, I would look in the mirror and tell myself horrible things, sometimes I would punch myself, eat until I was sick, and I would lock myself in my room to cry.
5 mo
I don’t play video games, I don’t watch movies, or do anything fun because I don’t feel like I deserve it, and honestly I don't deserve anything I have, I don’t deserve the food I eat, the bed I sleep on, the roof over my head, the electricity and internet I’m using to write this, sometime I don’t think I even deserve life, I’m just a burden trapped in his own mental prison.
Should I start my life over? Is it too late? Would this be best for me? What should I do?
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