Was you popular at university or did you have to work hard to make connections when you left?

Question

I'm currently studying but I'm worried that I won't have any connections. I'm a mature student and despite showing knowledge, being kind, showing good grades. The other students only seem to want to just use me. I made it clear that I work part time and due to not drinking I haven't been clubbing for a while but it's not an obstacle as I like to dance, either way they never invite me to things even in the day now. I went as far as organising a Christmas get together a few came but I felt like they were expecting me to pay for everything. It was bowling which was 6 pounds including 3 drinks in student night all in all...
I'm in my final year and covid basically. So all lessons are online. 💀 Ugh!

Answer 1

zeitgeist057 | 115 opinions shared on Education & Career topic.

Explorer

I was popular, but I didn't work hard to make connections. It was fun for me. I would meet new people, find out about them, they learned about me, I hung out with them and sometimes got their contact info. If there was a party, I did what I could to ask if I could invite people and usually people said yes that's fine so I would invite the new people I met and then introduce them to others at a party.

It got so that I knew everyone, or not everyone, but many, many people, and in return, many people knew me; often some people I didn't know or remember have approached me and said they remembered me and curious if I remembered them.

I didn't go to much effort to throw a party or pay a lot of money, I'm actually pretty frugal. I did drink alcohol, but didn't want it to be a socialization crutch, so I made a point at parties to drink water and not always get so drunk. Also to avoid hangovers, lol.

I don't know what's going on with you, but it appears you are overthinking friendship. It isn't something you plan and execute, it's just something that feels good that you participate in for the fun of it.

lilyanony1

15 d
I'm not overthinking anything, I was really normal with them. I live in an age where people tell you what they expect in terms of treatment, pronouns, and altered names etc.
I found this all very jarring and it took away from me finding out what made them special when I started talking to them I would address them and I'd get this blunt, don't talk to me response and I'd looks could kill. Maybe it's because it's art school I find people to just be really shi*ty tbh.
Let's hope it's not like that when I leave
zeitgeist057

14 d
To be fair, technology has changed a lot of things and people are becoming more withdrawn. If you're not a certain type of person who rejects tech (doesn't watch tv, use internet, smartphones, social media), then your social (or antisocial) circles are going to contain the same types and it's pushing people further away from each other.
lilyanony1

14 d
Agreed... I've been looking for pre Internet friendships and relationships. I won't fit in because of this
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zeitgeist057

11 d
I wish you the best of luck and all I can say is just put yourself out there and talk to people, but if they are throwing you shade or being sh*ty as you say, just move on. That's their way of keeping themselves from being your friend and eventually you'll find someone or multiple people you click well with :)

Having good friends is such a blessing, so I think it is definitely worth the effort to find some.

Answer 2

lilyanony1

I'm not overthinking anything, I was really normal with them. I live in an age where people tell you what they expect in terms of treatment, pronouns, and altered names etc.
I found this all very jarring and it took away from me finding out what made them special when I started talking to them I would address them and I'd get this blunt, don't talk to me response and I'd looks could kill. Maybe it's because it's art school I find people to just be really shi*ty tbh.
Let's hope it's not like that when I leave

Answer 3

zeitgeist057

To be fair, technology has changed a lot of things and people are becoming more withdrawn. If you're not a certain type of person who rejects tech (doesn't watch tv, use internet, smartphones, social media), then your social (or antisocial) circles are going to contain the same types and it's pushing people further away from each other.

Answer 4

lilyanony1

Agreed... I've been looking for pre Internet friendships and relationships. I won't fit in because of this

Answer 5

zeitgeist057

I wish you the best of luck and all I can say is just put yourself out there and talk to people, but if they are throwing you shade or being sh*ty as you say, just move on. That's their way of keeping themselves from being your friend and eventually you'll find someone or multiple people you click well with :)

Having good friends is such a blessing, so I think it is definitely worth the effort to find some.

Answer 6

bowenw

Explorer

I had to work to make connections. I focused on making friends with a few people I felt compatible with, which improved all of our chances of being included in larger events. Being older than the majority of the other students is difficult as you are at a different maturity level.

Answer 7

DizzyDesii | 402 opinions shared on Education & Career topic.

Master

The one good thing about college was that there wasn't really any “popular” status. People just went to school to work and then back home. The bit of Popularity that did go around only mattered between the frats/soros and footballers. Thats it

Answer 8

RyzaStout

Xper 5

I'm at university now, I'm not popular, there's only one person I talk to in my class. I'm not bothered about it though, it doesn't matter if I make friends or not

Answer 9

Jjpayne | 827 opinions shared on Education & Career topic.

Master

I had fun with my teachers and overall had a good friendship after my class with them in college. It was fun to get to know them and learn from them. Id say though I was more popular with the teachers than the students 😂 but I did have fun with the students too

Answer 10

AlexanderAnttila

Xper 7

Oh it's very varied. I make friends easily but I'm either very well liked, or despised at campus. No middle ground. Most people do not stay fiends for long though, they, especially female ones, usually come around.

Answer 11

Alexandrubaschet08

Yoda

I get to go to some party, been invited by people that i don't know in some place that i know them.
From ther i made all my conection whit the friends.

Answer 12

Anonymous

I was popular amongst my group of friends, yeah. Uni was too big to befriend everyone, but I got along with everyone.

Answer 13

Jamie05rhs | 187 opinions shared on Education & Career topic.

Guru

School connections aren't worth it. Just make good grades. You can make connections later.

Jamie05rhs

15 d
Before I dropped out, I was VERY popular. But part of that is because I was ditching classes to hang out with my friends.

Answer 14

Jamie05rhs

Before I dropped out, I was VERY popular. But part of that is because I was ditching classes to hang out with my friends.

Answer 15

Gwenhwyfar | 158 opinions shared on Education & Career topic.

Guru

I was reasonably popular

Answer 16

GAGSucksBalls1

Xper 5

No, I wasn't

Was you popular at university or did you have to work hard to make connections when you left?

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