Michael Caine Is Still Alive...

[QuarterNote]

It's 4 a.m.

I lay stiff upon my mattress, staring at the door. My mind slips in and out of consciousness, and I swear the door handle had twisted slightly...

No. I shoo away the thought. The way the shimmer of the knob seemed to animate for a second – It was a subtle trick of the eyes, nothing more than a stray beam of a car headlight slipping through the blinds of my window and—

I freeze. The door hinge pops, then creaks, then groans. The rustle behind the door, the darkness between the crack as the door opens, the treacherously slow twisting of the knob – it was all too real! They've come for me!!

The mysterious figures walk in, stern and unyielding. "It's time to go," they'd say to me. "It's time we take you," they'd say to me. "I don't want to go," I'd say to them. "I don't want to—"

They abduct me. I blink out blurry specks in my eyes in time to see that I've been taken to a field. The night is cold and wet. The tall field of grass swats at my back as I'm carried by the mysterious figures towards a large cement facility. They carry me closer with my back parallel to the ground. I try violently to shake them off. No use. And as the wind howls through the bustling grass, I swear it had caught the faint sound of screaming from the facility.

The dread washes over me, and I curl up around my pillow. My eyes still fixated for what seemed like 10 minutes on a single, still door handle. It is the fear that has gripped me almost every night the wind howls just right. And on those nights, I'd cower between the sheets and shake my head and shut my eyes so tight it's painful...

...and I ease my mind with the thought that Michael Caine is still alive.

~<*>~

One of the most difficult days of my life was on Sunday, April 6, 2014 at 2:20 PM.

I breathed deeply and clutched my Italian Sub sandwich to my chest. It was the last one on the shelf; it seemed to have been wrapped just for me, a gift from the universe to my stomach.

That day, the Smith's grocery store was chaotically busy. I stood in a line with what seemed like thirty people ahead of me, all shifting impatiently side to side as the clerk took centuries to find the barcode on a package of diapers. "Come on!" I heard someone yell. A few people whipped their heads around to shoot a sharp glance at the man. But most people kept looking forward, for they knew they were feeling the same impatience as him.

I stare down at my sandwich. My God, I thought, It just looks so...tasty. I focused on the delicately placed crisp lettuce and the elegantly sliced pastrami and ham, so thin and juicy. The bread looked so pristine and the tomatoes so refreshing. The sauce was spread just right with a thin yet confident layer between the meat and the bread. It was a prodigal child of the delicatessen gods, blessed and brought to Earth by divine word...

I felt a sharp nudge against my back, jerking me out of my daydream. I was startled. My torso flew forward. My arms flailed and fumbled as the sandwich launched itself out of my hands and collided with floor. Time slowed to a drunken stupor as the impatient person behind me passed to my left to cut me in line. Their tightly laced boot flattened the sandwich against the floor, smashing it into a mushy mess. It was vile, a horrid sight that turned me to ice...

...and I eased my mind with the thought that Michael Caine is still alive.

~<*>~

OH Michael Caine, oh Michael Michael Caine! How healthy of an 84-year-old is Michael Caine. Save me Michael Caine from all the evils of the world. Take thy beloved smile and purge the world of its wrongdoings. Michael Caine, oh MICHAEL CAINE!!! Do not worry your wispy white head, for there are no mortal actions that can harm you. Oh Michael CAINE!!!!!

How I've eased my mind with the thought you're still alive, Michael Caine...

#MichaelCaine