Most Helpful Guy
Oh man... I've been off candy for years. This is like asking a recovering alcoholic what their favorite drink is. I can feel the relapse coming on...
Anyway, my favorite is tough to narrow down. In the fruity division, Gummy Bears get the nod, particularly the clear pineapple flavored ones. So slept on. Honorable mention to Sour Patch Kids, but they get a downgrade because of all the times in high school that I'd leave the movies with seared taste buds that were useless for another day and a half. Why do they have to make them so sting-y?
In the chocolate decision, I'm going Almond Joy. First off, shredded coconut is one of the most delicious substances on the planet and anyone who disagrees can report to the roof of the nearest tall building and take the fast way down. Coconut is so polarizing and I just don't get that. It's phenomenal. And YES, everyone has to have the same tastes as me, don't be dummies, people. Anyway... where was I? Oh yeah, Almond Joy. Coconut, and DARK chocolate, which is far superior to milk chocolate, and once again, I strongly recommend anyone who disagrees to off themselves because you're not fit to consume candy, and if you can't do that, how can you be trusted with the important stuff in life if you can't grasp the basics? Answer: you can't.
And for the WORST candy ever... drum roll, please... Candy Corn. Why'd you do it, huh? Why did you make such a vile creation to be brought out at Halloween, one of the greatest holidays the world has ever known? Scantily clad women, I get to be a grown man and dress up in costume, it's all deadly. Except for the Candy Corn. And miss me with all that "ohhhh, but it has those nice fall colors..." You could have made a candy in those colors without making it taste like a vagrant's beanbag. Rant over.4THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
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