How to make a toast speech with a little bit of roast?

Anonymous

Entertainment & Arts

Since yesterday, I had decided to walk in the podium like a soldier when I present my final speech. I had taken ROTC years later. I do not know how to be funny. I think that my idea is retarded if I walk, pivot, and then salute my classmates. Then I can say good morning, class. I am going call Donald Trump, "Ronald Dump" to sound funny. How do I even be funny if I am not a clown.

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How to make a toast speech with a little bit of roast?

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What Guys Said 1

Outofthegrey
Guru mho 16%

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but that is awful please don't do that.
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- Asker
  
  What are the things I should not do? Walking like a soldier when presenting my speech.
  
  Reply
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- Outofthegrey
  Guru
  
  That and using a malapropism to make fun of a political figure. Malapropisms are only funny when accidental, when intentionally used for a speech it becomes akin to a pun. The lowest form of comedy there is.
  
  It goes: Humorous Story>Wit>Irony>Hyperbole>Spoonerism>Malapropism>Pun
  
  Reply
- Asker
  
  I know this may sound weird, but I had been told by someone to make a roast on Donald Trump to sound. I know you are voting for trump to become president. I had been told make a statement about my teacher's hair. I am going to call her a mild if that is okay. I have to be funny in order for people to like me.
  
  Reply
- Outofthegrey
  Guru
  
  I'm not voting for Trump, I think he's a jackass. I just took a few standup comedy classes and one of the big rules is that you shouldn't make politically based jokes unless you know the general voting
  demographics of the area.
  
  If you are going to make fun of a politician or public figure, the basic rules are to make fun of:
  -Appearance
  -Snafus/scandals
  -Odd beliefs
  -Public mistakes he/she tried to cover up/backpedal.
  
  Reply

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