How to make a toast speech with a little bit of roast?

Since yesterday, I had decided to walk in the podium like a soldier when I present my final speech. I had taken ROTC years later. I do not know how to be funny. I think that my idea is retarded if I walk, pivot, and then salute my classmates. Then I can say good morning, class. I am going call Donald Trump, "Ronald Dump" to sound funny. How do I even be funny if I am not a clown.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I mean this in the nicest way possible, but that is awful please don't do that.

    • What are the things I should not do? Walking like a soldier when presenting my speech.

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    • I know this may sound weird, but I had been told by someone to make a roast on Donald Trump to sound. I know you are voting for trump to become president. I had been told make a statement about my teacher's hair. I am going to call her a mild if that is okay. I have to be funny in order for people to like me.

    • I'm not voting for Trump, I think he's a jackass. I just took a few standup comedy classes and one of the big rules is that you shouldn't make politically based jokes unless you know the general voting
      demographics of the area.

      If you are going to make fun of a politician or public figure, the basic rules are to make fun of:
      -Odd beliefs
      -Public mistakes he/she tried to cover up/backpedal.

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