it was bright, the sun glare dazed,
the flowers blossomed with the
blissful chirping of the little birds
they sung of the story of the princess
how she was caught in the net of love
trapped, but the exquisiteness of love
was not forgotten to describe
it made her life worthy, they said
but why didn’t they mention of the unbearable
pain she felt, love was exquisite they said but
they never mentioned of the cost of love
it can tear you, break you and let you live
drowned in regret, yearning and pain only
they said being in love is worthy but they never said
of how worthless you feel after deserted
how it makes you feel as cold as the white snow,
how dead you feel, how bare you feel
As you are ripped of the one thing
You can’t live without
You feel as bare as the cold tree with its leaves shed
Like the trees in autumn, you shed leaves
leaves of past, of the lost love and dreams
you realize that it is necessary to start new
if not shed ever, you will never live
you will never learn
that it is a part of this cycle you are in
and it won’t stop till the last bit of air you respire.
you realize that nothing is as audacious as life is
and that it’s all in exploring the amazing, varied kinds of
emotions you possess.
Most Helpful Girl
I will give you my honest opinion. It is alright, but you have a lot of room for improvement. Maybe this is just my personal taste, but I like when poems are a lot more subtle; when you have to think about it and figure it out, and when they can be interpreted in many ways. That's ok if you prefer to be more straightforward, I just feel it is more artistic the other way. I think you should try adding more techniques like metaphors, similes, personification, juxtaposition, etc.
A few lines which I like in your poem:
"how it makes you feel as cold as the white snow"
"You feel as bare as the cold tree with its leaves shed"
I think these are good similes. Work on these techniques and you will get a lot better.1