Thoughts on these lyrics?

i know i'm a fool
i've been
playing it cool, ignoring you
you should expect it
by now
maybe i don't love you though you first loved me
i don't know how

every time i write to you
my favorite words are apologies
i don't know what you're thinking
but it feels like you still expect the best of me
i can't giev you the best of me
there is no best of me

i know i'm a fool
i've been
playing it cool, ignoring you
you should expect it
by now
maybe i don't love you though you first loved me
i don't know how

maybe i'm dead
or maybe i'm just lazy
repeating this cycle i'm making
i come to you and get high
you're the drug that just feels right
but i never stay right

i know i'm a fool
i've been
playing it cool, ignoring you
you should expect it
by now
maybe i don't love you though you first loved me
i don't know how

i spend my days
trying to repay
i know i complain
that's all i do
i've been no good
why do you stay

i know i'm a fool
i've been
playing it cool, ignoring you
you should expect it
by now
maybe i don't love you though you first loved me
i don't know how

---- okay that's it. the part where it says, "maybe i don't love you though you first loved me" is kinda iffy. i might take it out or something, i'm not sure. just give me your raw opinions and critiques on it please, if you'd like to anyway. i would appreciate it. do you think people will be moved/touched by it? feel free to go into detail, the more the better

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What Guys Said 3

  • this strikes me as a slow song with deep base line and maybe just a snare drum but that could go either way with no snare i think it would sound good. maybe, no, definitely a saxophone playing notes that match what you're saying. and for the last hook instead of a sax a piano playing high key but not too high maybe one octave lower than the highest

    "i can't giev you the best of me
    there is no best of me

    i think this might sound better

    "i can't give you the best of me
    there is no rest of me"

    and instead of
    "maybe i don't love you though you first loved me
    i don't know how"

    try
    "maybe i don't love you like you loved me"

    "maybe i don't love you though you first loved me
    i don't know how"

    maybe try this

    "maybe i don't love you (pause for a second or too{ music stops})
    maybe i don't know how"

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    • wow that's really good, i like it. and those lyrics suggestions are great, i'll have to use those, but i like the very last one the most. i think they perfectly describe what i was trying to get across. normally in my songs i use more vague words because i have trouble explaining everything and i repeat things a lot as well as you saw. thank you so much :)

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    • no problem. id love to hear it when its finished :)

    • i'm still working on the melody but if i have it finished soon i'll record it and update the post with the link to the recording or something

  • It's a little rambling to be honest.

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    • i sorta thought the same thing too, i didn't really progress the song much

  • I like it what's the name and of this song?

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    • thank you :) and i have no clue.. i haven't decided yet, any ideas?

    • I don't know what about "A fool of a girl"? Lol

    • hmm.. i do want it to be something having to do with fool, but gender neutral still because this song can be applied to things in so many ways

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