Do the lyrics to this song make sense?

Verse:
You have left...
Rain washed away the sunshine
Followed by sadness
I'm feeling bitter because of lost hope
The first time we met under the rain,
My heart was touched by your glance
How long it has been raining,
I haven't realized
We're so similar
But this just isn't love
And I want to ask you,
"What are the two of us?"

Chorus:
All the love I've saved for you
As the storm draws nearer towards us,
Leaves are eagerly awaiting the rain
Like me the old days,
Washing everything away,
Except the innocence still in my dream...

The singer is comparing their unrequited love to rain. I wrote it myself, but know nothing about song structure. Just wondering if the lyrics make sense to you?

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What Guys Said 2

  • Is there another verse? A bride?

    I like what it's saying don't get me wrong. It has substance, it's good. Just with it some more. I can help if you'd like I'm a lyricist.

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    • Well, I'm not a songwriter or lyricist. I just wrote this for fun

  • There are some bits that could be definitely filed and redone. its really rough start. I'm not sure where exactly you want to start.

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    • I want to start at the "Rain washed away the sunshine" part. The singer is reflecting on their unrequited love while it's raining, remembering that it was also stormy the first time they met their loved one.

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    • Whoops some of the phrasing is off but change some of the suffexes I used to make it flow better lol. I was rushing.

    • Like instead of washed you could make it "washes away the sunshine" depending on how you want to take it just have fun.

What Girls Said 1

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