Why don’t people like having deep conversations?

I mean there are some but most are so superficial. It’s so dissapointing and boring.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I loathe small talk and prefer deep, interesting conversations about everything. In real life, not just with any random stranger. Trust has to be there.

    Even still, I, by far, prefer meaningful talk that's actually relevant.

    @Fitness-Fanatic is a member here who usually posts some interesting and thought provoking questions.

    Pixie woo (correct name? Sam and her sister I mean) on social media tend to shun the fake fronts and talk about some interesting subjects now and then.

    I'm a no nonsense guy but I've met NO ONE in life who prefers such and can actually talk sense, but also light hearted when required. Except my ex-fiance who passed away and my best friend. I don't mean fanboys of any topic either. That individual is actually who I have always been searching for to be my life long partner.

    It seems actual thinking is a very rare untaught quality these days, and critical contemplation with introspection even more so.

    I've found people are often scared to even try it as they just can't handle it. Hence a lot who I've seen with this capability be suffering from depression because they see more and understand better than those around them but others still make airhead choices to hurt them. What they don't realize is, the people who have deep introspection and accountability for themselves take measured actions and will often get severely hurt when wrongly accused of things.

    So I will say that it brings severe pressure/stress into everything hence maybe it's only some that are born with the traits to deal with it.

    But usually those few are influencers and game changers. All the top people in history, top scientists and revolutionists were such.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • FOR REAL! I try to have a meaningful conversation with most people and they don't want to. It's literally a requirement for someone to be able be a good friend to me. If we can't have meaningful or deep conversations then I don't see how we're going to be able support each other when we need it.

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What Guys Said 40

  • I never knew anyone in law that could have a deep conversation or had an appreciation for one. It is all relative and maybe you have it inverted.

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    • I am a law student but before entering a law school I used to write poetry and read lots of books. Still do. I have no idea why people have such impression on lawyers.

    • Simple I have provided witness and have been neck deep in it and lawyers are dangerous and should be avoided. When the truth of an actual event that should be presented is not considered justice something is seriously broken. They use words and instruments to lie, and it is scum-drudgery. You are in school and that is the optimistic phase but in practice (and I do actually have one lawyer friend-corporate law) you will convert to a real lawyer.

    • I am too idealistic to ever become your definition of lawyer.

  • I have the same problem. It seems I can't change it by willing it to be so. Most of the deep conversations I've had in the last few years have been on the internet. I guess that's how far I have to cast the net that will bring them in. Does that show that I'm "way out there"? I'm not bragging, but I am really different - very educated, scientifically and otherwise, but also a fearless street-brawler. So no wonder so few people can connect with me.

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  • I know right? Every time my roommates have conversations, it’s always about the most simplistic, mundane, and shallowest topics I can think of. Things that would bore me to death. I overhear them talking and I’m always wondering why they can’t talk about something deeper or more interesting.

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    • What would you talk about, @PoliceLivesMatter?

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    • My roommates talk about the most boring things. Their the types to talk about how plastic forks don’t scoop up food properly and that a metal one is needed. They’ll talk about something like this for a long time, and then move onto another equally brain cell depleting topic.

    • 😂😂😂

  • I think it has to do with how society has developed over the last decade or so. Short attention spans led to the mass interest in vine clips over 5+ minute videos, character-limited twitter posts over articles or even longer facebook posts. Social trends are steering information/conversation sources into more streamlined and condensed formats. People are less willing to invest their time into a conversation worth having. It's unfortunate, but that's the direction things have been/are heading

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  • They do but they are hard to do, it is a skill being able to initiate and nurture such a conversation and it requires a bit of vulnerability to open up about yourself and share deep, core level feelings. Also it requires 2 interested parties. For example one person may be open it such a talk but the other may not be, or at least they aren't interested in having one with the person they are talking with, they may want to have it with someone else.

    It's very complicated.

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  • People do you just gotta know how to build up to it.. Not everybody thinks the same, and sometimes you just don't know how to pull people in to have a good deep convo.. But people love a good convo.

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  • I've always found opening up about deep things very difficult personally. There's often hidden baggage that people don't want to address. Superficial chat is so much easier.

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  • What do you consider deep conversation?

    Every minute detail of my life? Your life?
    The big bang and all associated theories?
    The different methods to make a perfect souffle?
    The best chrome exhaust pipes for a custom Hayley Dyna?
    The future of Earth after its moon flies off into deep space?
    The economics of how Amazon is killing retail businesses?
    Communism vs capitalism and their effects on the American mindset?

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  • i know what you mean. It's because deep conversations force one to think about things they are trying really hard to ignore. Those of us who like to explore ourselves don't have a problem with em, the ones who are hiding from themselves (90% of people) do

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  • My existence in conversations is to the depths of space.
    I have chosen in life to only surround myself with individuals who can converse on an in depth level.
    I have an extremely strong understanding of psychology, as well as I have a science education.

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  • I hate small talk. I usually don't talk at all unless the conversation is about something deep or at least controversial. I need my conversations to be interesting

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    • Why don't you propose an interesting topic then? Why rely on other people to make conversation interesting?

    • I'm extremely introverted. My wife however is extremely extroverted. So usually I just sit back and listen to her talk about anything and everything. Studying her, and watching how happy she is with her friends. Honestly she's like living poetry when she gets going.

  • People seldom want to sit with each other and talk... everyone is so busy excercising their fingers on the phone that , communication in real life is so costly... we like to dwell with what's written somewhere or spoken at some other place then... Experiencing it first hand... It's just the beginning... in the years to come... it will deteriorate

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  • I guess that shakes the view of black and white and forces you to look at the bigger picture of the selected topic and that can invoke many different reactions and emotions in people.

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  • I love having deep conversations. The problem seems that I encounter those that lack the subject matter to go further. Granted at times I lack the drive to keep the conversation going.

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  • Usually results in offense and bad relations.
    And as people are saying small talk is useless.
    So, I just don't talk to anyone who isn't already a friend.

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  • Most small talk are superficial and disappointing and boring

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  • Because few people seek to be an intellectual these days, it has become cool to be a fool.

    Why do you think the Kardashians are so popular.

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  • I think they either have not much to talk about or they are afraid of being honest about what they think. It’s annoying to me as well.

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  • Usually deep conversation can expose the the true thoughts and feeling and that can be scary for some

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  • All she ever want is payback for it
    Because of how we play that shit,

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What Girls Said 8

  • I prefer deep conversations. I know a few people in real life who enjoy having deep conversations.

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  • Depends on who you are talking to
    I mean I won't have a deep conversation with a stranger.
    And if it's like meeting new people, then of course I won't lay all my cards right of the bat,

    What I tell others about myself can be used against me so keeping things superficial until I trust the person is the best option

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  • People do, but you have to like, know them first. Of course a random person you pulled off the street isn't going to want to talk about what the purpose of life is or whatever. That's fucking weird

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  • Literally my life story of dealing with people. So many people want to just have fun but as soon as you need moral support or just a friend you're either disappointed or they slowly try to not be friends with you anymore.

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  • Personally, I don't like to open up my life for anyone to see. I prefer to take my time and easing my way to where I am comfortable enough to share things about myself.

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  • friends do everyday in private, superficial comments to strangers and people of little importance to deserve the time required for deep convos

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  • I love... but i dont have nobody for that, because of the exact same reason

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  • Yes!! That is sad! I know people who like deep conversations and I talk to them though! 😊

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