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I like the overall style of the line art. I was hesitant to try a critique since I think you can pass off a lot of these things as "style". But if you're genuinely struggling with anatomy and things like that, I tried a some very quick Photoshop scribbling and liquifying to suggest a possible route. It's exaggerated but I wanted to kind of highlight some of the key planes and use some contrasty shadow values to pop things out a bit:
The idea isn't to "do this" so much as kind of highlight some of the basic forms to guide you potentially in any alterations so that even if you stick more to a line art style without much variation in values, you can kind of see the overall forms a bit more clearly.
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