Girls, What Do You Think of My Idea For A Mystical Talisman?

Question

The names mentioned are just the names of fictional characters I've created. Here's a rundown of their personas as well as backstories.

Master Ming Houng: A ghetto slang-speaking, fun-loving and playful 1,500-year-old master sorceress. She is also the creator of "The Eternal Soul" talisman, a talisman granting the wearer immortality, accelerated healing, disease immunity, and superstrength. She along with all of the women in her family are immortal thanks to a mutated gene known as "The Eternal Gene". Though fairly naive and overly caring for her own good, Ming can be quite wise and even clever when she so chooses to be. She has a very large tongue that she cherishes more than life itself.

Excel: A misanthropic and surly yet highly empathetic anti-hero vigilante. Excel was injected with the "The Hypertrophy Excel Serum" after receiving fatal injuries from a gang robbery he managed to stop. As a result, he gained a series of enhanced abilities including enhanced intellect, enhanced strength, enhanced speed/reflexes, enhanced toughness, enhanced lifespan, accelerated regenerative healing, and enhanced senses. Excel suffers from many insecurities and uses dry wit sarcasm to mask his pain.

Updates:

1 mo

Wong Su The Immortal: An aging former martial arts master with an "I vs. Them" mentality. Wong has a superiority complex and sees himself as being above all others, especially the elderly which is quite ironic given his old age. Because he has lived a life of heavy cigar smoking and bursting bladdered sex (a kink of his), he has developed both lung cancer and a severe UTI. Wong's ultimate goal is to steal The Eternal Soul talisman and gain immortality.

Will further finish tomorrow.

Answer 1

Carlz_051

Xper 2

Excel sounds hot to me, ngl. But for a 1500 y. o sorceress, Master Ming Houng is painted naïve? And for a wise person, she speaks way too much as you mentioned. Also, the ghetto slang speaking woman contradicts the "too caring for her own good" part of her personality. It is a very brief description of course, but so far why does she contradict her own personality?

GirlsTonguesHOT

1 mo
Thanks. That's kind of what I was going for honestly.

Huh. You're right. In fact, I'm just now noticing the contradiction! I'll have to clear that up in the final rewrite. I should've put "is wise but can be way too caring for her own good sometimes resulting in inadvertent danger. She is also a kid at heart harboring an almost superhumanly optimistic and bubbly demeanor". I hope that's better. Ha, ha. Thanks for pointing that out by the way.
Carlz_051

1 mo
Hey, no problem. Yes, it does sound better. Can I ask what the story is all about?
GirlsTonguesHOT

1 mo
Thanks bae. Also, I did a repost of Ming's personality if you'd like to check it out.

In a nutshell, "Ming", 'Excel" and "Cheng" attempt to stop the cancer-infested narcissistic and megalomaniacal Wong Su from stealing "The Eternal Talisman", an enchanted talisman created by Ming that grants the wearer semi-immortality, superstrength, accelerated healing, and immunity to disease and illness. Wong is an aging martial artist of whom gained lung cancer from excessive cigar smoking as well as a severe UTI from constant bursting bladdered sex (a particular kink of his). And now he seeks the talisman to obtain immortality, eternal youth and control over all of Asia.

Answer 2

GirlsTonguesHOT

Thanks. That's kind of what I was going for honestly.

Huh. You're right. In fact, I'm just now noticing the contradiction! I'll have to clear that up in the final rewrite. I should've put "is wise but can be way too caring for her own good sometimes resulting in inadvertent danger. She is also a kid at heart harboring an almost superhumanly optimistic and bubbly demeanor". I hope that's better. Ha, ha. Thanks for pointing that out by the way.

Answer 3

Carlz_051

Hey, no problem. Yes, it does sound better. Can I ask what the story is all about?

Answer 4

GirlsTonguesHOT

Thanks bae. Also, I did a repost of Ming's personality if you'd like to check it out.

In a nutshell, "Ming", 'Excel" and "Cheng" attempt to stop the cancer-infested narcissistic and megalomaniacal Wong Su from stealing "The Eternal Talisman", an enchanted talisman created by Ming that grants the wearer semi-immortality, superstrength, accelerated healing, and immunity to disease and illness. Wong is an aging martial artist of whom gained lung cancer from excessive cigar smoking as well as a severe UTI from constant bursting bladdered sex (a particular kink of his). And now he seeks the talisman to obtain immortality, eternal youth and control over all of Asia.

Girls, What Do You Think of My Idea For A Mystical Talisman?

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