Motherhood: The Beginning Of The End of a Woman's Life

[Allie_Oops]

For the past few years, at least since I’ve graduated from college in December 2012, I’ve always dreamed of getting married. I want to pick out the dress, get the proposal, and start a family. I want a ring to sow off to my friends. I don’t want the ring because of the size or value, but just to show that a man cared enough about me to commit to me and only me until death do us part.

I was 22 when I started buying into this silly dream. I’m now 28, and my views have changed drastically.

After several relationships that ended in heartache, abuse, and flat out cheating, I’ve realized one thing.

I have partially lost the desire to get married. I haven’t lost the desire to eventually marry and still date, but the idea of me being married by the time I’m 30 is no longer believable nor really wanted. At this point, I don’t think it’ll happen before I’m 40 simply because there are not quality single men available to me to date in my area.

But, even still, there’s one other thing I realized, and that’s what this article is really about. Although getting married isn’t out of the realm of possibilities, I definitely am not ready to have children. That also means I cannot date a man who has kids because I positively lack the ability to love them at this point.

Could I like his kids? I don’t know, maybe. But I really just don’t want to try. But more so, I don’t want to be a mom. I have just over 200 friends which in the year 2018 where most young peoples lives are dictated by social media, that’s not a lot.

**WARNING**

If you’re a mother and you’re easily offended, then you may want to stop reading at this point. Don't say I didn't warn you.

But your lives seem very plain, boring, and lame. I can’t tell you how many women say on social media, in public, at work, or at get togethers that their children are ‘their lives’. Like…what? How can your kid be your life? Then I realize a sad truth. They are.

From the second you find out you’re pregnant, your life is dictated by your child until they are at least 18 years old, and sometimes even beyond that.

I couldn’t imagine waking up every day and the first thing I have to do is make sure my child is dressed, then has eaten, has their school bag, and get them to the bus stop all while trying to get myself ready for work. Then they come home, you have to make them do homework, cook for them, bathe them, and get them to sleep. And this is all with kicking, screaming, and crying. Sure, the kids get older, but all that means is the tantrums and attitudes change to fit their age. Instead of crying about having to take a bath they’re whining about having to vacuum before jumping on the Xbox. And you can’t tell me any different as I’m a middle and high school teacher. Even the best kids have their meltdowns, and I just don’t have any time for it outside of work.

But beyond the daily tasks of them being toddlers, it’s just the sadness of the reality of motherhood that I see. Facebook has become boring and mundane with the many moms that I’m friends with posting every day what their child ate for breakfast or that they’re doing their chores, or that they’re so proud that got a B+ on a spelling test. One of my friends had a 57 message long thread on her page about how much breast milk she produces on a day to day basis and asked if drinking beer increased the flow. At least 20 friends confirmed her suspicions and the thread is still going as I type out this article.

What’s worse are the mothers who make their children’s accomplishments into a competition. Johnny can play the trumpet? Well, Susie can play the trumpet AND the piano. Allie is on the cheerleading squad? Christy is the cheer captain!

I will say that about 95% of the time, it’s not done on purpose. But moms? You do this. Absolutely. My sister is a new mother, and even she has said she’s noticed it among her mother friends with their babies even going so far as to compare their child’s weight at birth. My own mother actually warned my sister and me that this would happen, too, as we began to have babies of our own because it also happened to her.

And let’s not forget about the ‘no nonsense’ mess that moms claim they have (that you don’t). Even that has become a competition with moms. Who takes the least disrespect from their kid? Honestly, I’ve always been a firm believer that if you have to tell people you don’t tolerate crap from your kid, then you undoubtedly tolerate crap from your kid. Being a teacher has done nothing but solidify this. Over 5 years and 700 students later, and without fail, every mom that claimed they don’t tolerate disrespect has a disrespectful kid. And they aren’t just disrespectful to me, but other staff members and their own parent. This especially seems to be true for single moms, which sucks because your jobs are made that much harder when you have to act as both the mother and father. As I said before, I don’t have the time or energy to do that after spending 8 hours with 119 twelve year olds.

Sorry…but that’s lame. Do you not have anything interesting to talk about? No, you don’t because your life is now all about your kids and literally nothing else.

There’s so many things that come to a screeching halt when you have kids. And most of these things I haven’t accomplished yet.

I want to write a book. I want to get my Master’s degree. I want to start my bakery business. I want to spend money frivolously without worrying about how it’ll impact another person. I want the luxury to wake up one morning and decide to fly to Vegas just for the hell of it without having to plan for anything other than who is going to babysit my beagle. I want to explore my options and be completely satisfied with my life before I settle down and have kids.

You, as a mom, cannot do that without it being made 10x harder by the simple fact that you have a kid to care for because they always need to be watched or they always need to be with you.

I may not be a partier, and a lot of people may think my life as a teacher who supports herself is boring. That’s fine. I don’t really care.

But I know if I have kids then I can’t accomplish everything I want.

Look, it’s great that you love being a mom, and I know the job is hard (thus why I’m not one yet), but I don’t want my life to end in my 20’s because a little human has now become the dictator of my existence.

When I have kids, I want to make sure I leave behind no regrets. I want to say that I was fully 100% ready to have kids and now that my dreams have come true, I can focus on my child’s dream. I don’t want to resent their presence. Too many moms my age and younger say they wish they had waited to have kids because they didn’t do everything they wanted to in life.

I will not be that person. I will chase my dreams and have my kids at an age that I’m comfortable, even if that means it’s later than the average woman.

[CubsterShura]

"Do you not have anything interesting to talk about? No, you don’t because your life is now all about your kids and literally nothing else." of course, for every mother their children's lives are more important their theirs. Nothing else interests you when you experience seeing your own children grow up. Mothers don't want or need anything else in their lives except seeing their kids growing up being healthy and happy. Their accomplishment and success is in seeing their children growing up as successful adults raised with the right morals. And this is why mothers sacrifice so much for their children. And no, it doesn't make their lives boring. If anything then they couldn't be enjoying life more. (regarding comparison, mothers love to believe that their children are the best genetic material so they often end up comparing or having high expectations. Please never be mad at your mother if she did that to you)

And it is possible to do the things that you wanted to do in the list. Some of them can take time and you would have to plan carefully, but it is not impossible. My sister has a baby and she is doing a highly professional job and is doing her Master's. I know a woman with two little kids and she still has more than one occupations. What these both ladies share in common is that they are highly disciplined and hard-working.

I also have my own dream career and ambitions but it doesn't mean that I don't want children or I believe that I can't have children. I want to be a mother of kids and I hate it when people suddenly think that breeding is all that I wanna do, lmao. Motherhood doesn't consist of breeding it consists of parenting.

It's understandable if you don't want children, especially when you love traveling. Parenting is still not an easy task and many people don't feel like they are up for it. However I do have to say, you need to change the way you think about mothers because you heavily underestimated them without trying to understand them for once. Have some empathy.

[LeaLee]

I like this

[loveisbeautiful]

You know, there are a lot of mothers who chase their dreams and have kids. It is possible and happens frequently. So, having kids doesn't have to change your dreams. I've always wanted to be a mom, from the time a was a little girl and even more now. I'm 31 now, so I'm more realistic about my hopes of being married and having children but if it's still a possibility for it to happen, I'd welcome it greatly. You don't have to want kids, but it's not right to make other people feel bad because they do or because they have kids. It's a personal choice.

Also, not all kids and teens are the same. So, you can't put them all in one category.

[Allie_Oops]

I literally said it was possible in the article but that would be harder.

Also, I never said all kids and teens are the same. Again, I literally say that even the best kids have their meltdowns.

But thanks for your selective reading.

[loveisbeautiful]

I didn't selective read anything. If I read something on here, I read the whole thing. No matter what wordage I used, the I point is I don't agree.

[FakeName123]

Essentially you want to be egoistic and not have any sacrifices to be done in your life.

If that's fine with you, go ahead. Just don't complain when the biological clock starts ticking. Just this year here in Germany there was a study released about women with and without children and who regrets and who doesn't. Almost 90% of childless women with a degree regretted not having children.

If you are ok with the 90% chance of you being one of those, go ahead on this path. Just don't complain, if it turns out you were wrong and deal with the consequences.

[Allie_Oops]

But I said I want kids lol. Literally my last couple paragraphs is making sure I have kids with no regrets. Did you not read the Take?

Either way, I’m not having kids if I’m not married anyway.

[FakeName123]

You are 28. You aren't ready, yet. With 28.

If you aren't ready yet, what makes you think you gonna be ready fairly soon? And then find a husband to be with while being ready? And then taking the time to conceive a child?
Do you just think once you are "ready", everything will magically fall in place and you can get started right away?

Not to mention what constitutes being ready? Is a person ever truly ready?

[LiaJoJo]

But the problem is the older you get the higher is the chance that the child will have disabilties when it's born. From 30 on it slowly starts to get more dangerous to get a child.

[VIVANT]

@LiaJoJo

its never too late, you can always adopt. the regret is not about kids but about ego.

[FakeName123]

@VIVANT

Bullcrap. People want their own children. Adoption is just the silver medal. Look through the research on the matter of bonding with adopted children. Especially if those children are of a different ethnicity (and thus it becomes even more clear that they aren't biological).

[VIVANT]

Exactly my point. It’s not about wanting kids but ego.

[FakeName123]

@VIVANT

Wanting your child to be your own and thus have a deeper emotional connetion to it is a matter of ego?

[VIVANT]

children are there for us to take care of. not to be extensions of our ego. people who genuinely want to care for a child will adopt. those who do it for selfish reasons should not be parents. you dont love someone bc they are related, you love them bc you choose to do so. plenty of biological parents abuse and abandon their kids. there are many children already on this earth who need parents. to go and make a new one is selfish. not parenting.

[VIVANT]

this is my opinion. i understand you do not agree. thats ok. i certainly will not change my view, i have thought this way for as long as i can recall.

[FakeName123]

@VIVANT

You didn't answer my question. Biological parents have - and thats a fact - a deeper emotional bond to their biological children. How does it have to do with ego to want that deeper bond to ones child?

[FakeName123]

P. S. Most of these "there are many children on this earth who need parents" are children in some third world countries where the people just breed, because most children pass away (or not as much anymore, due to the help of western medical aid). Nothing to do with the US or Europe, though. We aren't responsible for those "many children without parents".

[FakeName123]

And one more thing: Yes, you do love someone, because you are related. Again, there is plenty of scientific proof on this matter.

[englisc]

You'll wait until a time when you'll struggle to have any, and if you do eventually manage to you will be at risk of complications - it's not as smart as it sounds if you do want children. I spoke to a guy not long ago who was a really nice guy, he and his wife waited til late 30s thinking it was the smart thing to do. They spent thousands on IVF, she eventually got pregnant and then had to give birth to a stillborn. I know others who waited that long and couldn't get pregnant at all. Some might be ok, plenty aren't.

[Allie_Oops]

I have four teachers I work with who are my age or at least younger than 30 who had to do this, too. But rushing to have kids when I’m not ready isn’t very intelligent, either. I’d rather be ready and live my life before having kids. Plus I’m not opposed to adopting and it’s something I’m considered. Not to mention the guy I may end up with may already have kids. Guys my age with kids always say they don’t want more so I’m honestly not worried about this.

[BrittBratt2416]

Exactly, women think they have forever just cause thean produces sperm forever when that is not true at all. The longer a woman waits, the higher the risks and lower chance of being pregnant cause women aren't meant to produce forever. You dont have to have kids super early, bUt waiting till your almost in your late 40s is way too late.

[englisc]

I just think that people in general have become less family oriented and prefer to live for themselves.

[BrittBratt2416]

Yes i guess you could say that.

[ragequeen]

I can agree with this take. My mom is the greatest person in the world and I know and understand what she has done for us (my brothers and me). She used to be unemployed for twenty years to be a stay-at-home-mom. She really sacrificed a lot for us.

Unfortunately, not a lot of kids can appreciate their parents. THAT is the shitty part of parenthood. When you invest money, time, blood, sweat and tears to get that chin clean. Then they turn into ungrateful, selfish and even sometimes criminal people.

I think being a parent can be wonderful if the bond is strong, the children work hard for their parents etc. The hard work will be worth it.

It all has to do with the attitude and common sense. If you don`t want kids, don`t fool around with pregnancy. If you want kids, make sure you know the risks, because kids never deserve the blame for taking your life away.

[Allie_Oops]

I think what's really sad is how many people in the comments are trying to guilt me into having kids just because of my age. My sister just had a child two months ago, and she is 34. No complications. My mother had me when she was 32 with, again, no complications. This whole 'scare women with the biological clock' thing is ridiculous. It's how you get parents who aren't ready to parent and end up neglecting their child to some extent.

Truthfully, the idea of not ever having kids does not scare me at all. I think I'd be okay being motherless. I can't see myself being a mom at this point, and I just turned 29.

[TheBigSoftie]

Huh... my mother never did shit for me. She made me fend for myself, screamed at me at the top of her lungs for things I didn't even do, and basically made me feel like a worthless piece of shit that doesn't deserve to have a life.
She continues to emotionally abuse me by blowing up unexpectedly at me because in her bitchy cunt head, it is easier for her to keep things bottled up than to show them, and when she DOES show them, I bring it up weeks later, she tries to TWIST MY WORDS and say the argument was about something else.
On top of that my mother never had to pack my lunch or drive me to clubs or anything like that because I have been homeschooled under her excruciatingly hostile environment my entire life.
So... I don't believe for one fucking minute that I am her life because if I am, then I must be the reason she is a bitch because she has no problem treating me like fucking shit.
She says she did not want to adopt me, she resents the fact that she had to give up her young life to raise me, and I think she resents ME because she felt she had to give up her daughter in order to do so (because my mom is actually my grandmother, and my sister is actually my mother; totally hillbilly but not cos my "grandparents" adopted me which apparently was the worst mistake they could ever make), but she will not say it. OK, if that wasn't so... why did you hate me for so long? Why won't you open up to me about what you did? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO LIE TO ME ABOUT EVERYTHING? And why, if I dare say it to you, you get defensive? BECAUSE I AM TELLING YOU THE TRUTH, AND YOU, WANTING COMPLETE CONTROL OF MY LIFE UNTIL I DIE, WILL DO ANYTHING TO KEEP ME ON YOUR SIDE, AND IF I SAY ANYTHING DIFFERENT OR OPEN UP MY MOUTH THEN I WILL GET PUNISHED!!!
-
sorry
-
My mom doesn't deserve my love, but GODFUCKINGDAMMIT I still give it to her because she is also my wife substitute and her taking that role very seriously, will enjoy bitching at me and making me feel like shit because that is your role as the "wife": the financial provider, the dominant, controlling cunt, the one who uses fear to control me.
-
I HATE MY MOM AND I ALWAYS WILL

[Allie_Oops]

Um... I think you need to see a psychologist. I never said moms are terrible or that they are unloving. I just said I’m not ready for kids to be the center of my life. But I don’t think you should hate moms. Moms are great. At least mine was. Your mom sounds horrible, though. My mom is loving and caring. I love my mom. Sad you don’t have a similar relationship with your mom.

[TheBigSoftie]

Frankly, I feel like I can live without her.
And I am thinking about getting some help once I leave that environment.
I can't see one now because the one I told everything to is no longer here, and I can't tell my current therapy because my mother will just deny it up and down, call me a liar, say my dad implanted that into my brain, blah blah blah.

[BeautifulMind59]

Ok. Do. It's a great idea to have children only when you feel ready.
But:
- How can you be a teacher if you dislike children so much?
- Maybe that's why you can't get a decent relationship. Much as they complain about not wanting to get hitched and all that, men biologically and subconsciously look for the woman who can become a good mother, after being a good wife of course.
If you're not in that mode, they can smell it off of you. And naturally will not bond with you. (And I don't mean they won't run from baby craving desperate women either.)
- I know all of the stuff moms talk about seem boring to you, but that's just because it's not YOUR biological child they are talking about. If you do end up having children someday when you are ready, you will notice how naturally very sweet every little act of your child will FEEL to you. It's just in our biology to feel that way. It's what drives us to have children, and feel like it was worth it, despite the back-breaking effort it requires. So from a purely logical point of view, it's stupid to have kids. But from the emotional aspect, it is the most beautiful and enjoyable experience.
- you did have the desire for a family before all of those bad relationships. Maybe the pain you suffered changed your mind. You might want to look into it. Usually, wanting children is tied up with the idea of wanting to continue being alive and extending yourself into the future, valuing life and living, wanting to celebrate it, and wanting to give life. If you don't feel that way, it could be a sign of some level of depression, or dissatisfaction with yourself or your current life, anxiety, OCD, feelings of insecurity, etc.

[Allie_Oops]

Uh... where did I say I dislike children? Reaching. But I teach middle and high school. I don’t have patience for little kids.

No, mom stuff seems boring because that’s your life once the kids come. That’s years that you will be that way, not just a month or two. It has nothing to do with whether or not they’re my kid.

Gotta love that you assume something is wrong with me mentally though just because I want to fulfill my own dreams before I invest I having a kid though as if my value in woman is solely based on kids. That’s the bull I’m talking about. I never said I didn’t want kids. I said I want to wait. Thanks for reading though... or not lol.

[winterfox10]

Fair enough... just remember that your career goals and dreams are a hell of a lot harder to obtain than having your pride and joy through a child. I'm not judging your choice or trying to discourage you, just remember that as you make your choices. I"m not sure what your goals and ambitions are, but you're a school teacher, not a hired gun... are you positive that those goals can't be achieved with a child? Furthermore, what happens if you don't achieve those goals, and you sacrificed being a mother for something that didn't ultimately work out. I don't know... just things to think about.

The risks of a complicated pregnancy also increase dramatically at the age of 40. Don't be one of those people who wakes up one day and realizes that they missed out on big things in life because they always thought they would have more time to do. You're 28, and most of your friends don't have kids yet. The mommy clock hasn't started going off, but most women start feeling the call in their mid to early 30s.

[Pejtu]

You are not the only one i always thought i dont like kids
Well i was terribly wrong since i got 2 younger brothers they are 3 years old now, i love spending time with them and playing or doing whatever , and i want my own kids in the future for sure now. I haven't met the right girl yet same as you in terms of dudes but im 24 not 28 as you. Im currently dating and im losing faith in humanity being honest... Everything that happens is because of facebook instagram snapchat overall social media its super toxic place to be with. Because of tinder and other dating apps we can't choose a partner because 2 or few days later u find someone better then the last one. More able to talk to more attractive more open overall as a person. Also adding i got 120 friends on Fb and those are really the people i know i dont add some random people like most people do and have 1000+ friends or even more. And they contact probably with 30 out of this 1000. I really love to talk and get to know other girls but it seems like most of the people are super defensive and they only want to have ""a pair"" and text then meeting in real life and getting closer to each other. Its not good whats happening now...

[Pejtu]

""a match"" not a pair sorry

[Allie_Oops]

I don’t dislike kids. I love kids lol, that’s why I’m a teacher. But I just can’t see myself having one and giving them all of my attention right now. There’s stuff I want to do that a baby would just get in my way right now. Plus mom life would get old after a while for me. Babies unfortunately just don’t interest me right now. But I’ll them eventually as long as I marry the right guy. Just not right now.

[Pejtu]

Ye i understand your whole point but im saying my opinion what i see is happening now :)

[Goodwifie]

An ex boss of mine had her first baby at the age of 42.

[Allie_Oops]

@Goodwifie I actually worked with a teacher who had her first kid at 36. And my sister had her son last year when she was 32.

I don't get the push to have kids in your 20's. I'll wait until I'm established and satisfied with my life. Plus I want to be married before I have kids anyway so that already puts me in the 20's for having babies at this point. Just time to accept it.

[Goodwifie]

Yep I wanted to be married before I had kids.
Had a chance to settle down really young 21 but realised that I wasn't ready and neither was he even though he disagreed.

[Pejtu]

bes time to have a baby for a woman is between in my opinion 27-30
thats just my assumption

[Allie_Oops]

The best age I believe to have kids is actually 30-35. It's not in your 20's like many people, but most people don't do their research. They assume it's in your 20's because it's also the age that women are perceived by men to be the most attractive, but that doesn't mean anything when it comes to carrying a child. Pretty much as long as you have a kid before your 40 then you're fine. So I have like 12 years left lol.

[Pejtu]

i mean thats confirmed by studies that having baby after 30 is problematic sometimes so its safer to have baby before 30

[Pineapple_Boy]

"I couldn’t imagine waking up every day and the first thing I have to do is make sure my child is dressed, then has eaten"... are you serious? This is probably the best part of being a parent. Lol My little niece stayed over last night. The first thing I did was make her breakfast this morning, and then we cuddle up and watched the World Cup. Doing stuff like that isn't a burden. It's an actual joy because you want to make the little nugget happy. So yes your life would change, but it changes for the better. I'm not a parent, but I'll happily give up all my free time to chill with my nieces and nephews. Doing stuff like making sure they eat, have baths, doing homework etc.. is fun 😊

[hasrett]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

You should've expected this by now.

[Pineapple_Boy]

@hasrett BLOCKED!!!

[hasrett]

I dare you, bad boy. 😎

[Pineapple_Boy]

@hasrett okay Blocked !!!

[hasrett]

😂😂😂

[cherryphi82]

Dang.. you sound like a great guy

[CHARismatic110]

I'm not a mom yet, but I want to be. And while once you step into motherhood it does become all about your kiddo, you make it seem like the baby is a ball and chain lol. I have friends that have started businesses, gotten PhDs, written books and all with children. Most of them were smaller at the time. Your decision is yours to make, but there are plenty of mamas out here proving that your career doesn't have to stop because you became a mom.

[Angelina25]

The career oriented woman that you are, is why I admire you.
Though It almost was like you're bashing motherhood. But then I can't blame you.
I'm a career oriented person myself so I know exactly where you are coming from.

I'd like to point out that there's more to motherhood than simply children who are screaming and crying and all that shit. When you hold that little bundle of joy in your arms and when the baby holds your fingers as if it's life is dependent on you, that's the best feeling. I've certainly not experienced it. I want to, at one point of time.

And yet again, I will put my career before anything else, children or no children.

Great take. :)

[EnglishArtsteacher]

Your views on motherhood are just your views. Obviously, not everyone can be a parent. However, you mention how you're unsure if you could like kids, or not, but at the end of your MyTake, you also mention how you want kids at an age when you're comfortable. In that case, it's probably better for you to never have kids, if you're not 100 percent sure if you like kids, or not.

Also, even though this wasn't the topic of this Take, you mentioned how there isn't enough "quality" single men jn your area. Well, most women in our generation seem to only want guys with flashy cars, and will spoil them with money. What do you mean by "quality" men? Guys who are loaded with money? Or guys who are good men? Or is it really just the area you live in?

I do feel bad how judgmental people are against women who question whether they want kids, or not. People shouldn't care what other people do, as long as they're not harming other people's lives

[1truekhaleesi]

This is a wonderful my take. I decided a long time ago that I don't want kids and neither does my boyfriend. We would rather travel wherever the military sends us or wherever we choose to go. We both have a lot of reasons we don't want kids. One reason is that his PTSD is too serious to be overstimulated by annoying kids and I just find kids annoying/loud in general. Studies have shown that couples without kids are happier. Also we can have sex whenever/wherever we want and take a shower together whenever we want. I think that makes us the real winners.

[Lynzerilee]

You will never know how motherhood is beautiful because of your judgement. Not every girl is meant to be a mother, maybe you're not. It's what makes the difference between a loving caring mother and a careless dismissive, emotionally unavailable one or even a narcissistic abusive one. So I hope women who don't want children actually never do have them.
My mother is ignorant, she never knew how to properly care about me and for me, selfish and complexed, and has worked all her life. I raised myself by myself and saved myself from the deliquency and other shit. She got married and had me and my brother in her fourties, she always says that she wishes she had me when she was younger cause she was getting old and tired and wishes that by now I were grown woman with work and children :p
She just did things because she had to. Not everyone is meant to be a parent, and I hope you never do.

[BrittBratt2416]

Sadly the women who dont even want kids have them the most while women who try desperately can't. Its really sad

[LeaLee]

What a load of nonsense. Being a mother is the most best feeling in the world. What a shame this is

[A_Bell]

When she comes home to her 13 cats at 55, she'll celebrate having everything she wants.

The "career" obsession is life on a treadmill. There is no end to the toil and unhappiness.

[Allie_Oops]

That’s an opinion and it’s only true if you have kids at the right time in your life. There are several people who wish they waited. I never said I didn’t want to be a mother. I said I don’t want to be one in my 20’s. You should read better.

[Cosytoasty]

I’m going to disagree with you respectfully.

My fiancé is going to keep her job which involves flying around the world to scout locations for shoots... and take the kids with her sometimes.

The view you’ve taken is that whoever the father of your kids is going to be, he is completely incapable of looking after them for any length of time and so you will be stuck with them 24/7. That’s a little narrow in my opinion.

[Allie_Oops]

You must not have read this too in depth because I clearly state that the things I want to do a mom can do, but that it would be harder.

Also, I never said he wouldn't be capable of looking after the after any length of time. The take is about the moms I know and my impression of them. It has nothing to do with father's.

You can disagree, but you don't really have any good reasons.

[Cosytoasty]

I’m disagreeing with the title and yes I did read it all.

I’m telling you, It’s not harder at all if you find a quality capable man with a good family (aka grandparents who look after the kids). To you and the all the other mothers you know... If you are a woman who is fairly attractive and young, you are the one choosing the men... so stop picking incapable ones.

Not here to convince you to do whatever, I’m just saying I don’t believe for a second that children mean the end of a woman’s life (in fact for most women it’s the most exciting part of it).

[BrittBratt2416]

Wow, having children is a blessing from God not a burden. If you don't like kids, then dont have them. Women who have children and want them cause they want to grow a family and carry on their genes.

[jpmoore89]

Motherhood is the most noble human endeavor in existence. Even above hero status.

[Allie_Oops]

It’s not but I guess your entitled to believe that.

[jpmoore89]

@Allie_Oops why wouldn't it be? A good mother and father is the difference between kids who grow up entitled, spoiled, lazy, etc, vs. kids who grow up and have something to offer society, who know how to work, be responsible, respectable, etc.

Everyone now days is asking how a kid can shoot up a school. As if its some mystery or the gun's fault. Of course everyone wants have the convenience of overlooking the real cause which is that the parents didn't give a damn nor were they involved in the child's life. Now days, its all about "me" with no care for even our own children. I maintain that motherhood is the most noble above all.

[lord_chilled]

lol, you could as well have titled it: Birth, the beginning of the end of a woman life.

on a more serious note, working and being a career woman, will make you unfulfilled and unhappy in the long run.

having kids, and raising them makes women fulfilled and happier, dont believe the lies that society has pushed in the last century.

women are literally built to become pregnant and rear children. your body and biology is built for it, and if it never happens, its only logical that you would feel unfullfilled.

women were encouraged into the workforce so that the government can have an x2 increase in productivity and get more taxes.
they are just exploiting you, giving you a false story about women being second class citizens in the past and such.

women in the past were actually much happier than career women today.
i suggest you look into this before you make this decision.

[Naydyonov]

1. You know that fertility goes decreases right? By age 40 most women will struggle to get pregnant, let alone the risk of miscarriage and actually having the energy to care for a child.
2. If you don't have children; You better hope everyone else does.

If people follow your example and wait till the age of 35-40 or just never have kids you will have a shitty retirement. You better hope you hope you don't live too long.
The only way for a pension to be sufficient is for people to pay into the system as you are now. If the populous were to take your wisdom and follow through then the population would start falling at faster rates than it is already.
With less money coming in and more being spent the government would have to prioritize between essential services: police, fire, "medical, border,, military services. And less essential: social services.

There'd be too much burden ranging from debt to taxes to fulfilling all the jobs.

[cherryphi82]

I love being a mom. My kids are my best friends and the world would be so much sadder without them. I wouldn't want to trade with anybody. Anything you can do, I can do, and the fact that it's more difficult just makes it more worth it.

[Hannah591]

Haha, I love this. Children are NOT for me and they would be the beginning of the end TO ME.
More CF people need to write myTakes. Here's one of mine - What Not To Say To A Child-Free Person ↗

[VIVANT]

there are nearly double the amount of people on the planet than a few decades ago. We dont need everyone to have babies. itd be bet if people slowed down. its no big deal if you dont want to be a mom, dont. you dont need to justify it. some people like taking care of their kids, they should be parents. others should not.

[VIVANT]

my mom was not around doing all of those things nor my dad. they were focused on their own lives. they should not have been parents.

[VIVANT]

they are good people but had no business having kids.

[VIVANT]

also motherhood/ fatherhood SHOULD e a main time activity. if you can't dedicate your life to it, don't do it. its a full time job -hopefully- split between two people- not for everyone.

[VIVANT]

lol at people saying you should have kids bc later you can't. is like telling guys to become a ballerina when they are young bc you can not start training as an adult and they may decide they want to when its too late.

people make decisions all the time. no one can do everything, but age is never a reason to do something unless its something you really are sure you want to do.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

It is true that overpopulation is an issue from a worldwide standpoint, but in the United States of America, it's not an issue. It's mainly third-world countries. In some European countries, underpopulation is actually a bigger issue than overpopulation.

With that being said, people can make their own decision to have kids, or not.