I certainly want kids and will partake in raising them, so the fears you have expressed hopefully would be unfounded. I don't fully understand your perspective. But maybe its earlier bad experiences shaping your current views.
As long as you're happy and clear in what you want that's all that matters. But I'd suggest finding a way to getting through those negative emotions first, like therapy for example. Before you make any conclusive decision. Otherwise you may end up regretting it.
The Woman developes a fulfilling life when they have children, by refusing this sentiment you're stunting your growth as a woman and human. While also rejecting your inherent nature, this will lead to nothing but lonely nights, antidepressants, and regret when you mature enough to realize the your mistake. At some point you will be too old to Enjoy your work and hobbies and your children will still be there for you.
Sorry to hear about the cheating , at least you can get dates I struggle to even get noticed by women. But wait till 40? Pretty sure that's going against your baby window period. Most guys I know who were nice in their 20's got ignored , once they hit 30 the flood gates upended with younger women and told the other women who screwed the bad boys to get stuffed once they hit 30 because nobody wants to be second choice
Honestly, I have to admit the only women who never say they wish they waited are the ones in their mid to late 30's who had kids. I don't know what it is. But it's like an unspoken truth for women that a lot will not admit to. That they wish they had waited. My own sister had her son last year when she was 32 and she said she was so glad did not have him in her 20's because she was still figuring her life out. My own mother had me when she was about 31 or 32. Ideally, I want them in my early to mid 30's. I mentioned the 40 part, though, just because there aren't quality male partners for me. Most men in my area just suck, and it's the truth, and I'm not going to have kids with an immature jackass just because I'm the right age.
A happy mum is the mother who's children are not the centre of her life. I love my children but my own life matters to me more. This way I stay happy and well grounded and cope with the kids way better.
I got interested in this Take after reading the title and I must say that I don't regret reading it. This is exactly what I think! Even tough I probably will never have kids, for other reasons besides the ones you mentioned.
As someone who became a parent in his late 30s, I would agree with you that it's better to have kids somewhat later. There's no sleeping late, last-minute travel or a lot of other things you can take for granted when you are childless.
You're never 'ready' to have kids - if you wait for that you'll never have them. The 'delinquent' reference is for your disdain for them and their mothers. So just don't, cuz your children don't need a mom that doesn't want them. You're confused, a little old to be saying all this, sounds more like an 18yo. But whatever, what I said initially still stands - PLEASE - DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS!!
@Hannah591 It's actually good there's mytakes like these it helps people reinforce and re-assess whether children is really something that is right for them and really want. If someone isn't willing to make sacrifices to take care of a kid then what's the point in ever having any of them? That's something they'll have to be ready for and be ready to make if they insist that's what they want, at least, then they know what they are getting themselves into, there's no take back or rewind and change your mind afterwards, well that's unless somebody counts abortion or giving up the kid for adoption, but it's like c'mon! Why couldn't they just make up their minds in the first place already after getting all of the information and weighing between the pros and cons and recognize that it's a big commitment.
I'm waiting on your CF myTake then. ;) I've written two, possibly three. It would be nice to see one from a CF male and your own interpretation or a different viewpoint on it.
@Hannah591 My buddy @Unit1 kind wrote one already. Although in our cases were ChildFree and Single, don't know if you're in a relationship and is a ChildFree couple or not.
All i can say the one should enjoy every role in like, from a daughter, sister to wife, and mother and then even grand mother !!
every role has its charms, attractiveness, feelings, emotions, enjoyment, reponsibilites and of course has some disadvantages as well. But in my view the disadvantages are too small as compared to the enjoyment you receive.
By the time you accomplish all of the meaningless shit that you set out to do you'll have hit the proverbial wall and no guy will want you. You'll soon find yourself elderly and with many regrets. You stand warned!
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41Opinion
so you cheated and are now complaining cause you went after the top 20% of men and most of those guys are cheaters
but you kept doing the same thing
thinking it would give a different result?
that is the definition of insanity, there are a ton of average decent looking guys but no
you are to good for them
when in reality you are probably average lol
cause that's were most of you women are
its called pump and dump hun lol
I think it's a good thing that you've weighed the pros and cons of motherhood, before you actually got pregnant.
The children do become your job and your life, so it's unsurprising when mothers mention their kids a lot.
It's a lot of responsibility that not every woman can magically ace in just because she owns a vagina.
Kids grow up either way, but some grow up with more scars to heal from childhood.
I certainly want kids and will partake in raising them, so the fears you have expressed hopefully would be unfounded. I don't fully understand your perspective. But maybe its earlier bad experiences shaping your current views.
As long as you're happy and clear in what you want that's all that matters. But I'd suggest finding a way to getting through those negative emotions first, like therapy for example. Before you make any conclusive decision. Otherwise you may end up regretting it.
The Woman developes a fulfilling life when they have children, by refusing this sentiment you're stunting your growth as a woman and human. While also rejecting your inherent nature, this will lead to nothing but lonely nights, antidepressants, and regret when you mature enough to realize the your mistake. At some point you will be too old to Enjoy your work and hobbies and your children will still be there for you.
Sorry to hear about the cheating , at least you can get dates I struggle to even get noticed by women. But wait till 40? Pretty sure that's going against your baby window period. Most guys I know who were nice in their 20's got ignored , once they hit 30 the flood gates upended with younger women and told the other women who screwed the bad boys to get stuffed once they hit 30 because nobody wants to be second choice
Honestly, I have to admit the only women who never say they wish they waited are the ones in their mid to late 30's who had kids. I don't know what it is. But it's like an unspoken truth for women that a lot will not admit to. That they wish they had waited. My own sister had her son last year when she was 32 and she said she was so glad did not have him in her 20's because she was still figuring her life out. My own mother had me when she was about 31 or 32. Ideally, I want them in my early to mid 30's. I mentioned the 40 part, though, just because there aren't quality male partners for me. Most men in my area just suck, and it's the truth, and I'm not going to have kids with an immature jackass just because I'm the right age.
What area do you live in? Are you in a army area or mining town etc?
The title to this was misleading and self-centered. It should've been "wait to be a mom until you are ready".
A happy mum is the mother who's children are not the centre of her life.
I love my children but my own life matters to me more. This way I stay happy and well grounded and cope with the kids way better.
I got interested in this Take after reading the title and I must say that I don't regret reading it.
This is exactly what I think!
Even tough I probably will never have kids, for other reasons besides the ones you mentioned.
As someone who became a parent in his late 30s, I would agree with you that it's better to have kids somewhat later. There's no sleeping late, last-minute travel or a lot of other things you can take for granted when you are childless.
What’s hard for you isn’t necessarily hard for someone else.
You can find your own happiness your own way. Others can find their own happiness their own way. No big deal.
Moms are the best. Being the best isn’t always easy and fun.
Awwe... you're a sweetheart.
@cherryphi82 I do what I can. Thanks. :)
Riiiiigggghhht….
Please, do us all a favor and don't have any delinquent kids!
Why would you assume I’d have delinquent kids? Because I want to wait until I’m ready instead of just popping them out because I’m the right age?
You're never 'ready' to have kids - if you wait for that you'll never have them.
The 'delinquent' reference is for your disdain for them and their mothers. So just don't, cuz your children don't need a mom that doesn't want them.
You're confused, a little old to be saying all this, sounds more like an 18yo. But whatever, what I said initially still stands - PLEASE - DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS!!
#ChildFree all the way. I'm sure my ChildFree sisters would agree more than ever if they ever saw and read this: @Hannah591 @1truekhaleesi
I already commented on this 4 hours ago lol.
@Hannah591 It's actually good there's mytakes like these it helps people reinforce and re-assess whether children is really something that is right for them and really want. If someone isn't willing to make sacrifices to take care of a kid then what's the point in ever having any of them? That's something they'll have to be ready for and be ready to make if they insist that's what they want, at least, then they know what they are getting themselves into, there's no take back or rewind and change your mind afterwards, well that's unless somebody counts abortion or giving up the kid for adoption, but it's like c'mon! Why couldn't they just make up their minds in the first place already after getting all of the information and weighing between the pros and cons and recognize that it's a big commitment.
Agreed. Parenthood is one great big sacrifice and if you aren't willing to do that, then don't be a parent.
I'm waiting on your CF myTake then. ;) I've written two, possibly three. It would be nice to see one from a CF male and your own interpretation or a different viewpoint on it.
@Hannah591 My buddy @Unit1 kind wrote one already. Although in our cases were ChildFree and Single, don't know if you're in a relationship and is a ChildFree couple or not.
@Hannah591 here 100 Reasons Why I am Not Having Kids and Won't Change My Mind ↗
Thanks judgmentday my bro! ✊👍
I am CF and single too. I will look at it now.
All i can say the one should enjoy every role in like, from a daughter, sister to wife, and mother and then even grand mother !!
every role has its charms, attractiveness, feelings, emotions, enjoyment, reponsibilites and of course has some disadvantages as well. But in my view the disadvantages are too small as compared to the enjoyment you receive.
"There are not quality single men for me to date in my area."
You sound retarded enough to actually believe this, lol.
Being a mother is the worst thing one can be in the world. It's the most thankless job. I dread the day my birth control fails and I wind up one.
Wait, you think being a mother is the worst thing one can be in the world, but you just said it's also the most thankless job in the world?
I think you worded that wrong. Maybe you meant to say that being a mother can be tough, because it's a thankless job.
By the time you accomplish all of the meaningless shit that you set out to do you'll have hit the proverbial wall and no guy will want you. You'll soon find yourself elderly and with many regrets. You stand warned!
ideally raising kids is part of life, like washing the dishes, or shaving. You water your plants, you feed your kids, rinse and repeat, such is life
Many women can do both. Be a caring mother AND a sexy wife. Unless you're stuck with quadruplets its all about time management and priorities.
I never mentioned anything about being a sexy wife?
For my Cousin and her Partner... Just the Blessed New beginning. Have Fun, hun. xxoo