How to deal with boyfriend's female friend?

We been dating 4 years but 1 year long distance.

My boyfriend has some female battle buddies a couple he's pretty close with. There's this one girl he spends a lot of time with when he does go to his unit. Well, there's usually other people with them but she's always the one throwing parties and get togethers at her parents' place. She's engaged to a soldier stationed in a different state so that makes me feel a bit better that she just got engaged.

My boyfriend tries to make me feel better when he's there he calls me, lets me know where he's at, what he's doing, and asks what can he do to make me feel better, because I feel uncomfortable. When I asked if he could ever date her he says that she's cool, and he probably could date her if he was out for dating but it'd be really weird since she's like one of the guys. She throws snot rockets out of her nose and stuff like that.

He said when I visit this month, if it makes me feel better I can meet her and see that I'll have nothing to worry about. I'm just worried if he has a close female friend that he'll fall in love with her or grow feelings and possibly end up leaving me. Everyone I know says to tell him to stop being friends with her but I think that's a wrong thing for me to do to demand who he can see and not see.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Also, seeing your boyfriend interact with his friend while you are around can either prove or disprove your suspicion. If he seems to chose you over his friends, I'd say you're safe. Regardlesss, remember that he's dating you and not her. In case you find that he actually does love her and not you, you should try to understand those feelings. I don't know if you love your boyfriend or if you just feel like you need him to stay around, but do what you think will make both of you happy in the end.

    Good Luck!


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I doubt this type of girl will cause him to leave you, to be honest. She really does sound like one of the guys for him.

    A good idea to meet her though.


What Girls Said 1

  • Don't tell him not to be friends with her, that can ruin your relationship with him. When you meet her try to show geniune intereset in her. Don't tell her you feel threatened by her, but talk to her about your feelings for your boyfriend and why you think he's a great guy. If she does like him, this might make her feel guilty about ruining the relationship, especially if you show her that you are an awesome person.

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