I have a 3 year old little boy who I have never spanked much less popped, his entire life. My boyfriend, who I've been with for 6 months got upset with him because he threw his food on the ground and he spanked him on the butt with a belt 3 times. I flipped out. I almost broke a bottle to his face. I don't even touch my child, what makes him think that is okay. When I calmed down, we talked about it and he said that since we are together that it's his job to "discipline" my son. I'm this close >< to leaving him. I'm just not okay with anybody hitting my baby.
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Most Helpful Guy
Spanking a three year old with a belt is not okay. At that age it makes no difference whether it's your hand or something else. That being said, that doesn't mean every instance of using a belt is intrinsically worse - it is entirely possible to do it lighter than than a regular spanking.
I also think you should be absolutely explicit with him about your desires. He screwed big time. Not only was it over the top but it was without your permission. But he only did it once. He was probably treated that way as a kid and he thought it was normal. If he agrees to not do that anymore than I don't see any issue. But you need to be very clear and very, VERY stern. If you've explicitly told him that his behavior was unacceptable then he has no excuse whatsoever to ever do that again.
In sum, be forgiving, but strict. If he promises to never do that again then you can carry on and chalk it up as a serious mistake - which it was. But if he does it again then you need to draw the line and not back down3
Most Helpful Girl
That is downright scary, and I would see it as a very serious red flag. I am against physical punishments for children in the first place (kudos for avoiding them), but it was especially inappropriate that he did this to YOUR child, without running it by you first. He is not his father and you have only been together for a few months. It was not his place to decide how to discipline him. Not only that but he used a belt, on a kid that is only three years old. I would consider this to be child abuse, nothing less. He WAY overstepped the line.2