My beautiful lie?

Y'all keep asking me “Noah what's wrong why you always so sad” you really want to know what's going through my head? Well fine let me give you a piece of my world so here's Noah this Christian home schooled boy supposed to full of joy 24/7, but I'm not I've never been for the last 5 years waking up every day and seeing that same piece of garbage in the mirror everyday over and over and sitting at the cursed desk and spending 9 hours there for 5 years always, asking my sister
“Brianna why do you keep running away”

"Brianna why do you keep cutting yourself”.

“ Brianna why do you keep crying in your room trying to hide it”

“Brianna why do you keep busting your head open on the bathroom sink for me to walk in on "

"Brianna what do you mean I will understand when I'm older"

"why do you do these things Brianna I love you so why, why isn't that enough"

Well now I am old enough and I understand completely how you feel and I'm sorry I called you crazy I'm sorry I said you needed help I'm sorry I stopped looking for you I'm sorry I gave up I know I made you sad I said I'd be there for you and I wasn't when it counted I love please forgive me because im going through the same shit you went through but the difference here is that your not here with me anymore. So there y'all go the reason why is because I hate myself and wish I was killed when I was younger there you go my beautiful lie of a Christian Life.

My beautiful lie?
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