Parents publicly shaming kids for misbehaviour: Your thoughts?

There is a trend of parents publicly shaming their children when they misbehave, they get the kid to hold a home-made sing in public with text explaining what they did wrong.

What are your thoughts on this type of discipline/punishment?

detailed and thoughtful answers are appreciated

Would you ever do it with your kid?

Parents publicly shaming kids for misbehaviour: Your thoughts?
Parents publicly shaming kids for misbehaviour: Your thoughts?


Parents publicly shaming kids for misbehaviour: Your thoughts?



(short 1.5 minute clip)

Updates:
this seems to be an American phenomena

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It really depends on the act and the kid, some this would be appropriate some wouldn't. What each parent does is really up to them. The ones who are saying you would act out more well a parent would learn from that and decide on another form of discipline. Parenting is so hard. It's unnecessary to judge people's parenting skills when it comes to such as this. Not feeding or not clothing or not loving a child we all know that is things a parent shouldn't do. But when it comes to discipline there is such a wide range of personalities to deal with. There is always preferences to what is and isn't acceptable. A bully most likely does need that type of consequence. Who knows who else or what else it might work for. Parenting is learning as you go. All kids and situations are different. Who are we to say this is good or bad.

    As far as would I do it? I don't think so. She doesn't cope well with such as this. I'd decide on something else. For a future kid with a different personality, I'd just be learning as I go it will be trial and error.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Absolutely in favor of it when more conventional methods have failed. To quote from Joanthan Swift, “I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed.”

    Shame has the virtue of calling us to virtue by laying bear our failings. When we seek to hide from the truth of our conduct - and indeed of our natures - there is good reason.

    Shame is the expression of that which we seek to hide either from others or from ourselves. It may be, as was said in the movie Bull Durham, that "the world is not made for people who are burdened with the curse of self-awareness." That said, to all obvious evidence, we have too little self-awareness.

    Forcing a person to face themselves in all their virtue - and all their failings - is the surest way to get them to confront to their true selves. That is the first step toward improvement.

    In our theraputic populist age that has been forgotten. We are all assumed to be good. We are not. Shame confronts us in our brutal reality.

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What Girls Said 30

  • Completely ineffective and cruel. Perhaps the child would never do that ever again, but it breaks the bond of trust between the child and the parents, and leads to growing resentment

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  • They don't have good parental skills. I'd never humiliate or shame my kid publicly, regardless of what they did. There's ways to discipline a child without harming them or emotionally scarring them for life

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  • This is bullshit
    Eveeything nowdaya is happening pulclicly
    What is in the family should stay in the family
    Honestly if my mom do this to me i will respect her less

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  • Honestly i once saw a mother shave her daughter's head to teach her a lesson for teasing a girl about her lack of hair due to cancer... I couldn't have applauded any louder. The signs however may be a bit much especially when its just as easy to sit the child down and talk about it

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  • It depends on how the parent handles the situation. I've seen some parents that tell thier child to wait until they get home. That way the child isn't humiliated in public. However, I've seen some parents who scream, yell and holler at the child in front of everybody which is wrong acc to me. And I would never do that.
    If that's the way discipline is handled in that home, those children are not going to respond favorably.

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    • I'm 27 and my mom still embarrasses me. I went with her to candy store just the other day and she kept asking, "Are you sure you don't want anything? Your mother will pay for it." Then my dad and I went out to Steak and Shake. Our waitress was this really cute girl who was eyeballing me hard. My dad says loudly while looking at one of the tattoos on her arm, "I don't like tattoos." And I just want to facepalm every time I'm with them.

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What Guys Said 40

  • Public shaming is a really harsh punishments if prescribed by a parent, and I am generally against it, with minor exceptions, and here's why:

    1. It may be counter productive, leading the child to rebel. The objective behind punishment is to correct behavior. It will only push the child's behavior deeper underground, and the child may persist out of spite. A child light not be more open and forthcoming if they think that the consequence is abject humiliation.

    2. Depending on what the child did, it could severely damage a child's reputation in the eyes of the community, which prolongs the humiliation even after the punishment is over. The objective is to better, strengthen, and morally build up your children, not break then. That's why it could backfire. Refer to the previous point. For example, the kids being made to say he's a bully may end up becoming a target of bullying and ridicule. The kid with the sign about drugs might have trouble finding a job in the new l near future.

    HOWEVER

    This strategy may be a very powerful deterrent for the child and the child's peers. However, it should be reserved for the worst of offenses. For example, the day who shot up his daughter's laptop on camera, I think he went a little too far. I think it really depends on 2 things:
    A. The level of offence, and
    B. The level of remorse.
    That is, if a kid commits a serious offence, and feels no remorse, then you got to drop down the hammer. Public humiliation may be warranted. Otherwise, it may depend on other factors.

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  • It's an absolutely terrible idea. Parents should explain to their children why their behavior was inappropriate and discuss how to improve it. They shouldn't humiliate them. All this is going to achieve is subtle trauma, where the children grow up to be self-hating, insecure people.

    And yes, this is a very American phenomenon. It has to do with America's puritan history. The puritans loved nothing more than to shame people publicly for their sins. Think of Hawthorne's 'Scarlet Letter'.

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  • I think it represents an act of desperation. Young people today want to become independent decision makers at an age much earlier than is reasonable. I is difficult to devise effective punishments for teens. I understand this response.

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  • It’s no wonder they are bullies their parents are just as bad... Two wrongs don’t make a right instead it will only make them worst. They are lashing out from their parents bad parenting and possibly a broken home.

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  • I am personally not against it. Children need to learn there are consequences to our behavior. In times when parents can't even smack their children on the bum, something has to be done to say to children bad behavior has consequences. Ignoring bad behaviour will not work, as the child will think they can get away with it.

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