My mom doesn't know that I still have feelings for my ex?

She hates and hated my ex, even when we were dating, and that was a big part of the reason why I broke up with him. She thinks I "hate" him, but I secretly still have strong feelings for him and I don't like it when she makes fun of him. I don't know what to do. I feel really bad... How can I deal with the emotions?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know how involved your mom is in your relationships and if she bans you from seeing him or anything but my advice is if you really have feelings for him you'll move on or you'll make him realize you made a mistake of leaving him based on your mom's decisions.
    My ex's mom didn't like me for a couple of years but we still worked and eventually she came around because I proved I wasn't anything like she kept saying. We aren't together anymore but that's besides the point and nothing to do with her mom lol.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • But if it's over, why is she still talking badly about him? Doesn't she have other things to keep her occupied? Just switch the topic or stand up for him, usually clarity is obtained with purposeful communication... does she have valid or invalid reasons for you two not being together? I am happy that I listened to my mom on this one guy I liked, she was really looking out for me but at the time I was too vulnerable to see that and got angry with her. Sometimes, only you can give yourself the best advice, as you know the situation best. I would say if you weigh the pros and cons, giving priority to what is needed you can come to the right decision. For now, it isn't her business to keep talking badly about this guy that you are no longer with.

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What Guys Said 24

  • To be honest every time my mother said "I don't like her" I broke up the relationship, because she was right about all my exs so now I fully trust my mother's judgment, I don't know about you but maybe she saw something that you didn't, you could ask her to know what it is.

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  • In a perfect world, you could be honest. In a slightly less perfect world, you could tell her that while you don't like him any more, it bothers you to hear her talk bad about him because you did care for him. In this world, you are likely going to have to hold your tongue or face her wrath.

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  • If she controls if you see him or not then I’d wait till you have a more stable form of transportation. Regardless as long as you both still like each other then do what you think is best for you. Family will always be there telling you things but he won’t be unless you keep him around. Also see if your moms concerns are actually valid complaints like “he doesn’t have a job and is just a bum.”

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  • It is common to have feelings for your ex. You dont hate him but stop getting your feelings hurt because of anyone making fun of him. Easiest way to deal with this is to tell your mom to forget the past and move on. Not to be fixated. You have moved on and so should she. Hope it helps

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  • This is a hard one as families sometimes always goes through these dilemma, the only thing I would say is follow your heart and see what happens. Families tend to work out and in time either you will split and go back to family or family will accept him and be happy for you once they see he is treating you good 😀

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  • Sounds like your mom is controlling your life a bit much. Does the ex know you still have feelings? Does he share your feelings too? I hope you can figure out what to do with your mom problem and your ex that benefits your emotional and mental health instead of things ending in total disaster. Don't give up and I hope you figure it out.

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  • Don't feel bad cuz feelings are one of those things as not right or wrong. Maybe just say it and see how she reacts. If she makes you feel guilty about your feelings than maybe she needs to ask herself what the difference between thoughts and actions are

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  • You didn't mention the reason (s) your mom hates this guy...

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  • Just try to ignore what she says. How realistic is it that you get back together with him?

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  • My parents don't know anything about me. But I guess that's not normal. I never talked about them about feelings or whome I love

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  • Stand up for him and yourself tell her to please stop that you still like him and that she should give him a chance and better know him as a person

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  • Just go and hit your mother upside of the head with a shovel after offering her another sandwich lol

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  • Tell her to don't say stuff against him. It's out of her business.

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  • Why do your parents dictate your love life? You make your own choices

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  • Don't look up to her, laughing at one's experiences/choices/mistakes is not a good deed

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  • Time to grow up. If you can influence mum do so. Otherwise focus on what you can control.

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  • I think that for now you may hide the relationship from your mom

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  • Don't feel about that... every parents... are AL same scenerio like u...

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  • I think you should do your homework

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  • Break up with your mom

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What Girls Said 10

  • It feels like crap. I was in a similar situation. I respectfully tell her to stop it. I have emotion and when she was saying shit about him, I was there to take the full blow. I told her it was really affecting me emotionally, irregardless of the ground of our breakup or how i felt about him. It is also ethically wrong to speak ill of someone when she did not even bother to know him.

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  • If she acts very maturely regarding him, than I wouldn't bring it up to her. It would be very hard to not talk to her about it since she is your mom, and also you should to get over him. Its not good to be in my pain emotionally over someone

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  • Well, your mom always wants the best for you but in the end it's your choice and your life! She'll understand if you tell her about your feeling and that you're conflicted. She's your mom! She should love you and support you no matter what.

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  • Either ignore it or just tell her. And I feel really bad that you let her influence your relationship like that

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  • Well if you have strict parents you'll have to wait till you turn 18

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  • You only broke up with him because your mom hates him? Why does your mom not think he’s right for you?

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  • Tell her how you feel about him and she should accept your decision cos ur mom loves you

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  • You need to talk with him, this is your love life not hers

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  • What doesn’t she like about him?

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  • Maybe you need to be honest

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