Am I wrong for not wanting to spend the holidays with my dad’s girlfriend’s family?

My mom passed in 2015 and my dad started dating someone new in March. After dating for 1 month, my dad’s girlfriend got evicted and her family moved in (Her and 3 kids into a 3 bedroom home). My dad told me it’s temporary until they find a new home. Here we are 8 months later and my dad says it’s permanent. I felt lied to and this whole situation makes me miss my mom more. I feel like the only one sad in this situation. One of the girlfriend’s kids now calls my dad “Daddy” which bothers me and his girlfriend now calls herself my sister’s mom. During holidays, I now work because I don’t want to spend it with people I don’t like and see as family. My dad asked if I’m spending Christmas with everyone. I told him I only want to spend it with my actual family and when I move out in June, I am never going back to the house as long as their there. I want them to be my past and if my family wants to see me, we can go out or they can come to my place. Am I wrong? I just can’t see these people as my family when I haven’t even known them for a year and I thought they were nothing more than temporary roommates.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It us a very sensitive situation when involving family members. Guilt can be applied across the board but as adults not only to our family but to even the greater family of human beings we owe it to all to be the best overall experienced and knowledgeable person around to be able to not only forget where you came from but where are you at the moment and where is thus going for the future. There are many choices but the one one choice is compassion understanding and role reversal. As I tell people dont forget where you came from otherwise you won't know where you're going. Its unfortunate but your dad got involved with similar who thinks like him but as far as her actions are concerned she is not seeing the big picture in which everybody is affected. By the situation proceeding in the direction its going it's not healthy. Until all sides understand what's happening you will not be able to put this to rest and proceed in a way that's amicable to all. Hurt sucks but so does love. It depends which way you're looking at it. Usually like people get along and vice versa. Be strong diligent and diplomatic. It will go a long way to smoothing and making everything easier.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Oh, dang... girl, you seem so sad. I know you miss your mom. It's not bad or wrong to need more time to get used to things. I hope you can try to give your dad a little slack and maybe give the new people a chance. It sounds like you're most upset about the dishonest way it was handled with them moving in. I imagine that felt like an invasion to you. ... your whole routine messed up and all the while you're counting the days until they leave and life is normal again. And then you find out they aren't going anywhere... you've gone through so many changes. I think you should try to give yourself some time to settle. Maybe you'll feel better with a little time and some compromise. Try talking to your dad about how you're feeling but remember that you're all going through big changes right now.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Firstly I am sorry for your loss. What you do is completely up to you. But I feel that u blame them for something. What it is even I don't know. I think u feel she's taking the place of your mother but note that can never take place. But this doesn't mean u should not accept her. Give them a chance. And merry Christmas in advance (I doubt I can talk to u on Christmas so.. )

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  • I'm sorry your mom died, losing a parent is hard. Since you're working, find some roommates and get a place. Make time for your blood siblings. Spend time with them and only them. Everyone else you can accept, or not, in your own given time. If your pops gives you grief, just say, "Being out on my own will help me heal."

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  • You don't seem to have gotten over your mom passing and have therefore not moved on.
    It's none of their fault. It would be helpful if you could try to get on with them at least until you leave.
    You're dad couldn't have known that his one month relationship with his new woman would still be working 8 months later.

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  • I feel deeply sorry for your loss. But you can't put the blame on them I understand that it's hard but you should try to fit in. But if you can't I completely understand I just hope you don't do anything foolish and find something or someone who can help you through everything.

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  • Greif is the hardest thing on earth to deal with hun so its a process not an event your father needs her so he doesn't feel empty she needs him and so do the other kids its not you he lied to he thought temporary but them mids need help to and he is looking out for all of yas Focus on the family. com they may be able to council your greiving process im so sorry for your situation but isolateing yourself won't cure that ache inside

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  • Are you wrong? no, those are your feelings. I can understand your point of view as well. Your feelings may change over time but feel free to act how you see fit in the meantime

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  • You dont need to

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  • yes, very

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What Girls Said 3

  • You should explain the reasons to them and they’ll understand, trust me <3

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  • I feel ya girl... my bio dad marries a new girl every few years and they seem to want me to call them “mom” and whatever kids they brought into the relationship “sisters and brothers,” even when I’ve never met them... You’re right to feel that way and he should not have sprung that on you that way... I’m sorry for the loss of your Mum :(
    Do you have family or friends you could move in with until you can find a place of your own?

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  • Yupe

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