Would you be friends with someone like this again?

I used to be friends with this girl who had a temper issue. I used to think she's a good person at heart and she'll overcome her anger issues someday.

Well, one day.. A guy she had a big crush on started spreading false rumours about me. He told my former friend some horrible lies to her. He wanted to break my friendship with her to get back at me and also cover up his mistakes and it turned out, she believed his lies. She got angry and said some hurtful things to me, then she said how she wish I get killed soon. She said all those things rather than sit down and talk about it. It shocked me and hurted me a lot.

So, I decided to end friendship with her as I didn't want to be with someone who doesn't appreciate my presence in their life. She messaged me after 9-10 months, but I chose to not respond. She called me few times today, I didn't pick up. So, she messaged me. She accepted that she had some misunderstanding and she really misses me and how she's going through some problems. To be honest, I just want to help and then leave. Not sure if that would be the right thing to do.

Would you actually give someone another chance who wished death upon you? What do you think I should do? Thank you.

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  • It depends. I tend to give second and third chances. But everybody is different.

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  • There are things you simply do not say to your friend. And you can't always just blame bad temper. It's up to the person to control themselves. She failed, now she can live with the consequences of wishing her friend death. I'd tell her off if I were you. Or at least say that she can come back when her temper is completely cured, and then you'll consider being friends again.

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    • 7d

      Very well said. I agree. Honestly, I did not bother as I lost all the respect I had for her and I thought since I do not want to stay friends with her, I should just avoid saying anything which I did.

    • 7d

      Yeah, I'd contact her one final time just to make it clear you're through though. She might keep trying to get in touch with you otherwise. When an old friend of mine in Gymnasium crossed the line, (he mocked Jesus dying on the cross knowing full well I'm deeply Christian) I cut off all ties and told him one final time that I do not tolerate such things with people I consider friends, and friends do not mock their friends beliefs. After that he never made any attempt to contact again.

    • 6d

      Yeah, I think you're right. He didn't seem to respect your beliefs and that was very disrespectful. I will definitely tell her that I'm through. Thank you so much for your input :)

  • ….. Then she said how she wished I get killed soon...
    No, Sweet Genie, Stay, Clear, Dear... She is a Narcist and sociopath... xx

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    • 7d

      Okay, I'll stay away. Thank you so much for your input :)

  • I believe in forgiving people, but tbh, it sounds like she’s just messaging you cause she has a problem she wants your help with. That’s not a real friend.

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  • Anyone that SERIOUSLY wishes death upon me and esp my family , will be removed from my life and consigned to the dustbin of history !!

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  • yes I would in that case. but I'd have my caution flag up for a while to see if she changed, recognized where she went wrong, has grown.
    if she's just coming back for round 2, then I'd be cordial and move on.

    everyone is wounded in some way, you are going to deal with problems, but I've never had a friend do that to me.

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  • Lol you got a lot of problems apparently. Anyway i wouldn't be friend again with someone who wished me death, never

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    • 7d

      Everybody have some problems in their life. Sometimes? not so much, while other times, A LOT. So? That's life, lol.

      Okay, thank you for your input.

  • Didn't read all of it got half way down before i thought "fuck no"

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    • 7d

      You said fuck no right after I said she wished death upon me, right?

    • 7d

      More about the part where she believed the lies

  • Nope. How is it possible to have trust after that? Impossible.

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  • I would confront her with the terrible things she said to you
    with wishing death on you and tell her , how do you expect me
    to forgive you with all the horrible things you said about me
    yes it's hard to confront someone under them circumstances.

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  • Leave her, she needs to learn the hard way. Obviously, she has anger management issues and if you take lightly everything she said, the same story is gonna repeat.

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  • That actually sounds a LOT like my best friend, except for a little different of a situation, but he definitely hurt me and has anger issues.

    That was in highschool though, and after, our senior year actually, he apologized same as your friend did, and was having problems. I did give him another chance, and I would recommend you do as well, although you don't owe it to her and you shouldn't do it just because you think you should.

    One thing we took care of right off the bat though, was no lying. We agreed if either of us were ever caught in ANY lie to each other we'd end it right there, permanently. So there's no chance of believing rumors anymore, cause we trust each other. 👍 Get that taken care of. If they don't think they can trust you, then a friendship will never work.

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  • Been through a similar situation. In my case it was ego and i guess i was just done. You just have to accept that some people will be there on for good parts.

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  • Would you be friends with someone like this again?

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  • nope she made the mistake an why be around a negative person it's better to be around posative people cuz they help us feel an be are best

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  • Fuck her. She told you to be killed. Don't be such a pushover

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  • I would NOT give her a second chance, in your position.

    She definitely overreacted about the rumors, but that guy was also her crush, and she was trying to prove to him that she was on his side. I wouldn't take that too personally. She didn't mean the death wish, I don't think.

    All of that being said; it DID happen... I tried to give a former friend the benefit of my doubt so many times (there were other social pressures at play, so it was more of a way to simply keep the peace), but it just resulted in my getting betrayed and screwed many times over.

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  • I would not. If she can be like that then, she can be like that in the future.

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  • she more toxic than a brain tumor

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  • Nope, she can go fuck herself with a cactus.

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  • I would say no. Leave her be.

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  • Nah i wouldn't want my life around her

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  • I would, it was a misunderstanding to begin with.

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  • She doesn't deserve a second chance

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